This morning I was so excited because I finally got a me day. I was going to go get a hair cut and feel fabulous. Last time I did this was my birthday, the time before mothers day. I was really looking forward to it. You see, with a four year old and almost two year old twins I rarely get time to myself. Add to that my husband works really long hours, plus once a week has a regular activity of his own and on top of that many an unkind person likes to tell me how I need to give him more time and how I need to do more for him despite the fact he has a minimum of the one activity a week to himself and I, if I’m really lucky, get to go to the gym for an hour and a half a week, but often it gets thrown aside because of something of his, I don’t get much time and I often get the reverse of support. And after spending time away with my husband’s family I was even more excited to get time to myself. To do something nice for myself, to not be judged or exhausted, or pressed upon. I was super excited to get a few hours for me and to get a hair cut and colour…
… but the hair cut was shit, the hair dye was left on my head (extensive parts of my head) and my instructions were ignored. Dark brown please, just a trim please, please don’t blow dry my hair because I really like my curls these days and would like to have my naturally curly hair please.
I got chestnut brown hair, much shorter hair, and they straightened it. Not a good straightening job either. A messy, boxy, hideous, job.
People say, oh it’ll grow out, oh you xan wash it and the curls will be back BUT I SHOULDN’T FUCKING HAVE TO! I managed to finally get some time to myself after some incredible stressful moments, I pretty much had to escape in the spot to make it happen before yet another excuse was given as to why I didn’t deserve a break and why I shouldn’t need one and why my husband should get even more yet again. I managed to get a moment away from being eroded, I just wanted to feel good, but instead I have left feeling even worse. Because I don’t have much money. I have zero income, my husband doesn’t share a bank account with me, so managing to get $110 squirreled away for a haircut was a big deal. A really big fucking deal. And because of this insane bias that straight hair is somehow superior to curly I’m expected to be happy with a truly awful straightening job because it supposedly better than my naturally curly hair. I’m supposed to smile and pay $110 to have my very rare and very precious me time violated. I’m supposed to say it’s no big deal. I’m supposed to not over react.
BUT IT IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL.
And anybody else in my situation will understand that. And to those people I say, “I’m so sorry, you’re worth so much more, and you deserve so much more.”