There was a woman in the park today wearing a t-shirt, underpants, sheer stockings, and heels. Not tights, sheer stockings. And you know what? I didn’t have to slightest desire to rape her and I didn’t rape her. So I guess the idea that what women wears makes someone want or need to rape them is utterly illogical. She was in a park, an apparent danger area; she was dressed in what I imagine is not appropriate attire according to victim blamers, in heels which aren’t fab for running and foregoing trousers, shorts or a skirt of any kind; she was wearing, heaven forbid, red lipstick; and she still didn’t get raped.
You know why?
Because people who indicate that to avoid rape you must dress in a certain manner are utterly illogical and over emotional with fear. Their emotions are clouding their judgement. Rape is awful. People are rightfully scared of it. Scared of being raped and scared of someone they know being raped, because it is just as awful as they imagine, more so in fact. So their fear leads them to lay down behavioural sanctions that will hopefully protect others and themselves. They say how you can dress, where you can go, when you can go, what you can drink, but the problem is that this just doesn’t work.
You know why?
Monitoring victims and potential victims behaviours doesn’t work because a rapist doesn’t play by your rules. Your rules that if everybody acts and looks as you want then they’ll be safe. Rapists have their own rules, their rules are that they are entitled to other people’s bodies, no matter how the other person feels. Logically the only way to actually stop rape is by getting the message across that you are not entitled to another human beings body. And logically giving these rapists an excuse for their behaviour like dress, location, etc, you are in fact just encouraging them to think what they are doing is okay.
Stop being irrational and emotional about the issue. Victim blaming is counter productive no matter how you dress it up as being protective. The only way to stop rape is a zero tolerance approach. Rape is not okay. It does not matter where a person is, when they are there, or how they are dressed, you are not entitled to their body. Likening women’s bodies to a car, or a lost wallet, or any other tired old metaphor, isn’t going to work. The rapist needs to modify their behaviour and their sense of entitlement, not the other way around.
If you are still struggling with this concept please watch this as it might help you: