Star Wars The Force Awakens Review

If you loved Episodes IV – VI then you are going to love The Force Awakens.  So many nods to the classic films, a return of quality scripting, and quality production values that sell the story rather than detract from it in some gaudy display. I highly recommend this to any classic Star Wars fans…

… if you are a fan of Episode I – III your taste in movies is so vastly different from mine that I couldn’t possibly comprehend your mind at all. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. I seriously have no clue. None.

The Real Truth Behind Who Rey’s Parents Are In Star Wars The Force Awakens

Warning this is a groundbreaking, earth shattering, Star Wars spoilers. It’s about the new Disney ones. Stop reading now if you don’t want your world to be rocked and your mind to be blown…

I have uncovered the parentage of Rey, and it’s so obvi that you’ll kick yourself for not realising earlier. Rey is amazingly strong in the force. As in heaps better than anyone else. She can take on and beat Ren who has been extensively trained by not only Luke but also in the dark side, let’s presume by Stimpy. Regardless, he’s mega, super, awesomely, trained. Rey still beat Ren without training, people with training would struggle against him but she beat Ben… I mean Ren…. yeah, best code name ever Ben, I can imagine how it came about as some petty argument with his parents. Don’t call me Ben, my name is now, ummm, errrr, Ren, yeah, Ren, that’s totally different, so don’t call me Ben anymore. Regardless of how stupid his name change is, Rey beat a trained Skywalker who already has a history of two powerful Jedis (and one Sith), which means she needs to come from a lineage even more powerful than the Skywalkers. So I present to you the proud parents of Rey- Maz Kanata and Yoda.

Search your heart, you know it to be true.

Yoda is without a doubt the most powerful Jedi in the history of time, in the history of ever. Maz Kanata, although not Jedi trained is hyper force sensitive. She’s like 1000 and doesn’t look a day over 300, the force is strong in that one for sure. So how did this happen?  Maz Kanata clearly has a thing for Chewie, quite simply, he’s just not that into her and Yoda is grass cutter. One night after one too many rejections from Chewie, Maz Kanata turned to Yoda and said, “I guess you’ll do.” When at 900 years old not so fussy you will be. So he took the pity relationship. And then something about an uber long gestational period… possibly caused by the magnitude of the force requiring extra incubation. And then there is the obvious family resemblance. Merge Yoda and Maz together and you totes get Rey. Totes.

Glad I could solve the mystery of Rey’s parentage for you. You’re welcome Earth and the rest of the universe.

Fabulously Creative Workshop with Walter Mason

Another write up about the fabulously creative Walter Mason.

H L Petrovic

Walter Mason

Today, I had the pleasure to attend a 3-hour workshop with Walter Mason, aptly named ‘Fabulously Creative.’ Part writing workshop and part inspiration session, Walter and his course were both, indeed, fabulous!

I’m generally wary of free classes, mostly because I’m not sure how much I’ll get out of them, and I hate to waste the time I could have spent writing. I’d heard a lot of great things about Walter though and was looking forward to getting a few kernels or ideas that I could take with me into my current projects. I was really impressed just how much I got out of this short workshop – definitely more than just a few ideas!

Walter is a dynamic teacher and his enthusiasm for writing is infectious. After introductions, he began with his own list of inspirational historical writers (writers who were often scandalous, but always noteworthy), and asked…

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Fabulously Creative With Walter Mason ( @walterm )

I love attending Walter Mason workshops because he is the writing equivalent of viagra. We writers can be a terribly insecure and depressive bunch, much inclined to wallowing and procrastination. Walter Mason is the antidote. An encounter with Walter never fails to send blood rushing to the brain and joy spurting from the fingertips to splatter words onto paper.

Those closest to me know that at the moment I’m not exactly winning my battles with depression. Hey, it’s a war, so I’m sure I’ll get there, but right now I’m just flat, tired, and not winning. These flat times make not only eating and moving hard, but also writing. These glorious notions of depression creating exquisite pain to tap into emotional brilliance aren’t entirely true. Sure, you need light and shade to truly feel and you want that in your writing but being in a depressed state isn’t really conducive of writing. It’s grey, not fifty shades of grey, just one shade of grey. And hard to climb out of or write from. Writing once out of it is easy. The stereotypes ring true, once out of the pit, not so much in it. So a pick me up is vital.

So if you need some inspiration or an extra dose of fabulous, I do urge you to attend a Walter Mason event or read either of his travel memoirs, Destination Saigon and Destination Cambodia. Everybody needs a pick me up every now and then.  Especially creative types.

For more information please visit:
http://www.waltermason.com/

P.S. when is a travel show going to pick Walter Mason up? Getaway, Sydney Weekender, I’m not fussy, but this man needs to be on television.

#ImACelebrityAU Ep. 3…

… I didn’t watch it. My daughter was having trouble sleeping so I was with her. But I suspect the nonproduced parts where the people interacted were the best parts and that the scripted stunts where horrible things were done to the celebrities the required little skill were pretty pointless. Just a hunch…

#ImACelebrityAU Ep. 2: Something About Smarties, Vodka, and #MKR

Full disclosure,  I have almost no clue what happened, I watched MKR instead. I caught a few pieces here and there in the ads so here’s the 7 things I took away from it:

1. Julia Morris is looking amazing. Has she gotten a new PT? Is she wearing a waist shrinker? Can I get one? Her breasts are defying gravity, they possibly have their own post code. There will be no Susan Sarandon sag type complaints about our JM.

2. The camera people have the worst sense of humour. The WORST! They laugh at weirdly positioned moments very loudly. I am growing to hate them.

3. Brendan Fevola spoke about his time in rehab. Probably the most interesting part. Either that or the fact that Paul Harrigan is a vegetarian. Everyone was shocked. So Fevola and Harrigan can have tie point 3 because they were equally interesting. Way more interesting than point 4.

4. Shane Warne entered the jungle and no fucks were given. He got made leader and still no fucks were given. I do wonder how long before ge starts hitting on the younger women. Admittedly he does his best work via text after a skin full, so he may hold out a bit, but hey, he did say he was keen for people to see the real him…

5. Joel and Heather probably outhost the hosts…

6. Gross stuff was done to Warney and Fevola… why do people want to see horrible things being done to people? If they had to build huts, or create fishing lines, I could get it. But just making them suffer totally pointless, artificial horrors, just seems awful.

7. I think the show would actually be better with less produced stunts and less comments from the hosts… so in short, if it actually was reality TV and not painful commercialism that just isn’t working… Although, one more production element would be useful,  constantly flash up names. Seriously, I still have no clue who half of them are.

… but seriously, how good was MKR? I would be the worst contestant ever. The inevitable kitchen fire during a hail storm would happen. My MKR partner would look me deep in the eyes and give a stirring speech about how we can still pull everything together and the viewers would be sure we were about to be those wild- underdog-mavericks, who just pull it out of the bag, and I’d say… “Fuck that, let’s just put out smarties and vodka, I’m too old for this shit.” Meals would be out on time, they’d be delicious, the guests would be hammered and ver happy, but I think we’d be marked down on our prep, presentation, and whatever factors are in there. So here’s a bonus seven points, this time for MKR

1. I love how excited and positive Monique and Sarah were. They saw their aprons and cheered, they saw Manu and their loins cheered. They were just so happy. I also love that they served chips. I mean they only put three out which was total bullshit. I would have literally flipped the table and stormed out if I was served up three chips, but I loved that chips were on the menu… but only three… the three was bad. Chips good, three bad. But hooray for chips. Non of this waft of artichoke, massaged over a bed of olive mist, gently caressed with beetroot feelings. They served chips, and they wore thongs. Thank you.

2. Although Gianni and Zana have been advertised to be the villains of the piece I think Rosie and Paige are probably the dark horses to become the true biatches. They had snarky things to say about everyone… I obviously want to go drinking with them immediately. They would be hilarious. More Rosie and Paige. Sarcastic snarks unite. I shall definitely be having wine with future viewings so we can be gossipy besties having a laugh…. and occasionally I’ll need a giant gulp because they go from funny to just plain nasty.

3. Jordan and Anna are my favourite because I also have twin boys. That’s all it takes. I am betraying my state and loving the twins instead… even if only one is depicted. (Anna, please crack out the baby photos.)

4. Despite the very obvious eyeliner wings on Zana I’m not inspired to try it. The red lips were divine though. I’ll definitely be redding my lips for April again… I’m probably not going to try flaring my nostrils and pursing my lips every time somebody gives me food either.

5. Zana is trying to out Manu in sauce love… she’s not trying to out Manu him in food love manners. So Manu still wins. Hooray.

6. I really need to use more goats cheese. So do Monique and Sarah (burn).

7. I did find the whole making a big deal about the “cougar” angle a bit distasteful. They’re all consenting adults so making it into something tawdry didn’t sit well with me. But apart from that, I’m super excited to see more and get more cooking ideas. And to see if the next team beats 68 points.