Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 5: #ABCScreenTime

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Screen Time is here and it is rated M. Can we expect some intimate countdown like they had in episode 1? Let’s find out.

 

Chris Taylor tells us that we’re discussing Detroit directed by Kathryn Bigalow and written by Mark Boal (they also teamed up on The Hurt Locker), Channel 7s Instant Hotel(but I don’t wanna talk about Instant Hotel), and a new form of reality television hailing from Norway called Slow TV (and I am here for this). His panelists tonight are Benjamin Law, Judith Lucy, Zan Rowe and of course Sami Shah (because they have trapped him there and will never let him leave).

 


They jump straight into discussing Detroit. Chris is pumped. He is using terms such as powerful and visceral. It’s set in 1967 and based around the uncontainable events that happened at the Algiers Hotel during the 12 Street Riot in Detroit. Read about the events here. White cops killing innocent black people is the summary. Chris says that it makes you angry because so little has changed. Zan adds that it doesn’t just make you angry but it also does a great job of making you scared.

 

Judith says that the stuff in the hotel was brilliant. She also says visceral. If you want a visceral film then go watch Detroit. She talks about how you could really feel for these innocent people, just wanting to be safe, and even having some fun, and then three of them end up dead because of police brutality. (Is it brutality or straight up murder? Do we need to sugar coat it?) BUT she felt that the end lagged. She’d be happy to cut the last 30 minutes. Says the court scene was unnecessary. Chris says it was necessary because people need to know that the white cops got away with murder. Judith says that there are other ways to show this without a full court scene.

 

Benjamin speakeths. He says he is ambivalent. Take that visceral, here’s some ambivalence. Benjamin indicates that it was traumatizing and fear inducing but he kind of got the point ten minutes in and then had emotional burnout and couldn’t be as emotionally present for the rest of the 90 minutes. He also didn’t like the way black people were reduced to victims and not full characters. Chris says that he feels that Benjamin is punishing Kathryn Bigalow for being too good at her craft. In case you have missed it, Chris really likes this film.

 

Sami says that Detroit is made for white people and not people ofcolour. He says that black people know this. Black people live this. This provides no new information for them. It provides no new rallying point. It provides no new understanding. Sami adds that he feels that it actually diminishes what people of colour experience because it almost makes it seem as if the racism is from a few bad individuals and that if you defeat them then it is over, whereas racism is deeply entrenched and systemic. He feels that it is almost portrayed as if the murders are horrific, and that Krauss is a terrible person, but the white people were just doing their job and that the ‘crazy’ black people were being ‘bad’ and overreacting and starting riots, when that reality is far from that. It allows white people to feel angry and scared of bad racists, but because they’re so individualised that white people get to see the racists as others when in fact racism is pervasive and part of white culture and something that needs tonbe dismantled not simply put in the box of ‘others’. Systematic abuse of power is the problem and that this belittles the experience of black people. Chris says that Sami saying that Bigalow is belittling the experience is belittling what Bigalow has done, and ‘even if’ Sami is right and that this film is just for white people, it is still valuable and important as it gives white people an experience to show them that they’ve been wrong. (Cringe.) Sami responds that if they don’t already know that racism is wrong then this film isn’t going to teach them that. (Sami is doing an amazing job of keeping his cool.)

Benjamin says that Bigalow is making us bear witness. And what she does in the hotel is amazing but then it flounders a bit. Sami says that the scope of the film being calledDetroit was too wide. He agrees, and the entire panel agrees, that the stuff in Algiers Hotel was incredible and that the focus should have been narrowed to that. Benjamin points out that this was a time and a city of radical protest and huge groundswell and this is not captured in the movie, for it to hold the title Detroit then it should capture this vibrant element.

 

Chris points out that Kathryn Bigalow is the only female to have won an Oscar for directing. Look, just in case you missed it, Chris fucking lovedDetroit.

 

Time for Not on My Watch, a little segment where Chris Taylor tells us about a shithouse show. This week’s show… Instant Hotel. I’ve seen an ad, which was enough to get a no from me. Some clips are shown, Chris calls it an Airbnb version of MKR. Lots of white people and crying over cars…. Sounds good? No. But it got greenlit by someone. What is going on at Channel 7? Not on Chris Taylor’s watch.

 

And now the moment I have been waiting for since the intro, SLOW TV!!!! I don’t really know how to explain this to you except to say you get to watch train tracks or a fire burning and it is very soothing. Chris is showing a clip of a train’s eye view of going along train tracks. It is the best. I could sit here for another 7 hours. But apparently it is not for everybody. Judith Lucy says that the ABC is not paying her enough money to watch this shit. She says that she is too close to death to waste her time. Zan defends Slow TV, says that it is a meditative experience. It so is.

 

Sami doesn’t watch train track Slow TV, he has something even better. Icebreaker Slow TV. A little something you can find for yourself on YouTube. Just ten hours of watching an Icebreaker stuck in ice somewhere in the Arctic. Not my thing, I prefer to have the vehicle’s view, not a view of the vehicle, but I suggest you give it a look.


https://youtu.be/gpW7iYfuGDU 

 

Chris says that SBS is producing Slow TV of the Ghan railway trip. I think I just did an excited wee!

 

And now it is time for some recommendations.

 

Judith: Quarry

 

Sami: Binging With Babish

 

Zan: Joan DidionThe Centre Will Not Hold

 

Ben: Bad Genius (Squeeeeeeee, I have seen this movie it is fantastic!)

 

And that’s a wrap. I have no idea what they’re discussing next week. Oooo the mystery. Go off and watch more TV, or YouTube, or a movie. Whatever floats your goat.

 

 

Catch up on past episodes on iView

Find Chris here

Find Sami here

Find Judith here

Find Benjamin here

Find Zan here

Find past recaps here

Get tickets to the studio record here

Buy my book here

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Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 3: #ABCScreenTime

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Episode three is here. Get ready for discussions on Thor: Ragnarok and the revival of Curb Your Enthusiasm. But first Chris Taylor has to introduce his panel. Sophie Black and Sami Shah are back. They’re possibly never allowed to leave, they’ve been in all three episodes. Judith Lucy is making her second appearance. And Marc Fennell is making his first appearance. He giggles when Chris introduces him, we all fall in love instantly.

Chris says that before they get to Thor and Curb they have a more pressing issue to discuss. The Bachelorette final. He quips that millionaire winner of Sophie Monk’s heart, Stu, is the first person with money to be near Ten in months. It’s funny because it’s true. We get to see Jarrod looking sad because he was rejected and Stu making a bogan declaration of love. STRAYA!

Now onto the real stuff, not that I’m suggesting The Bachelorette isn’t 100% real. Chris introduces Thor: Ragnarok with a joke about red haired people, Ragnarok / Rangarok. NO! He says it’s the most enjoyable superhero film he has seen in years. I mean, it’s good and all… but has he seen Wonder Woman? I know DC and Marvel are different universes but he said superhero movie not MARVEL superhero movie so it’s fair game.

Marc agrees that it’s a good flick. Says some of the past Marvel films have been a bit samsies but this was fresher. He credits Taika Waititi with this direction.

Lucy did not like it. I repeat, did not like.

Sophie felt that it was pretty, pretty good, but that Waititi was lumped with the lamest superhero. Oh come on, there are way worse superheroes than Thor. Have you heard of Wonder Man? A faint green glow can be seen as Sami starts to Hulk up next to her. He tells her that he respects her right to have a wrong opinion, after all people didn’t appreciate Citizen Kane when it first came out. He says that Thor: Ragnarok is the Casablanca of our era. Again, has nobody here seen Wonder Woman?

Lucy, yet again interjects that she did not like it. Sophie says that Korg, the character Waititi played, needs his own film. Lucy agrees that he was the best part of the film. Everyone agrees that they loved him and he was the best.

Lucy then drops a bombshell. She suggests that comics are not for women. *Throws my comic book collection at the TV* Kidding, I’d never do that, it’d take too long and I might damage my precious.
Sami says that most of the people at the screening he was at were women and that comics are becoming less gendered. Lucy asks what the appeal of comics is for Sami, was he just a nerdy kid? My relationship with Lucy is moving from total hero worship to it’s complicated. Sami says, pretty much. He was a kid who was sick of getting pantsed and if he was the Hulk they wouldn’t be able to do it. He just wanted to be someone who kept their pants on, damn it! I know Hulk’s get torn and stuff but the idea is still beautiful.

Marc says that Marvel is unambitious about social commentary. Oh. My. God. Somebody drop Maria Lewis in here to sort this out.

 

There is so much about acceptance and struggle in Marvel comics. Marvel gave us the first black character who didn’t have black in their title, Storm. That’s pretty huge. Okay, he has mentioned that X-Men 2 actually did have depth, just feels some of the others are lacking buy mentions there is light and shade in the universe. I retract the SHUT YOUR MOUTH dispatch. Soz.

Meme of Maria Lewis courtesy of Alan Baxter

Chris asks why does Marvel have so many films coming out right now and why are they focused on overlaps instead of stand-alone hero movies? Sophie suggests that they have so many out because they do well because they are a global brand. Lots of Hollywood’s audience is now from outside of America and so they need stuff that isn’t quite so self-focused.

Everybody knows who Batman and Superman is. Sami also points out that it’s that way in the comics, duh. I yell at the TV screen, EVERYBODY LOVES CROSSOVERS YOU FOOLS!

At the end of the day, Thor: Ragnarok has Karl Urban in it, so I suggest everybody watches it.

Now it’s time for Take 5. They’ve moved it to the middle of the show and I like that. It fits better here. They’re doing 5 most regrettable Marvel superhero moments.
5. The Incredible Hulk 1988

4. Dr. Strange 1978

3. Spiderman 1978

2. The Fantastic Four 1994

1. Captain America 1979

Let’s be honest, those are not the most regrettable moments. They’re some funny older TV shows, there are far worse Marvel superhero moments on the screen. They are, however, hilarious.

Now it’s time for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Lucy says she used to love it, she bought the DVDs, but now she couldn’t care if Larry David lived or died. I get the impression that her enthusiasm has been curbed. Sophie says that it still has its moments but is a little dated and falls flat at times. Okay, maybe don’t curb your enthusiasm quite so much. Somebody show some enthusiasm.

Sami is bringing the enthusiasm. He is yet to be curbed. He says it is as funny and offensive as ever. Phew, I thought this was going to be a brutal slaughter.

Chris suggests that Larry David is rude but he is always right. People shouldn’t have too many samples, people shouldn’t have to say ‘sorry for your loss,’ after two years. Marc disagrees. Although sample abuse is deeply upsetting to his very soul, he does not always side with Larry.

Chris says that Curb Your Enthusiasm’s style was unique with its quirky music and shaky camera work. In fact the music has inspired a whole heap of YouTube clips where people put the music over the end of scenes. They put it over the end of a Star Wars clip. The bit where Darth reveals he is Luke’s father. It’s pretty, pretty good. But I really love this clip of Donald Trump’s voice being used for Darth Vader. I cry with laughter every time I watch it so I’m just going to use this as an excuse to leave it here, you’re welcome.


I’m not sure if my passion for Curb Your Enthusiasm has been reignited but my love of YouTube certainly has.

Now for the panelist recommendations of what we should be watching this week:
Marc recommends – The Good Place


Sophie recommends – Chewing Gum


Sami Recommends – Active Shooter


Judith recommends – Edge of the Bush


And what the deuce. Chris is recommending something. He never recommends anything. What is happening? He recommends Spartacus. They’re showing the clip of everyone standing up and saying ‘I’m Spartacus.’ So moving… Ohhhhhhh, they’re playing the Curb Your Enthusiasm music over it. Amusing. I’m amused.

And so that’s the end… Did they say what we’re watching next week? I must have missed it, too busy talking to my wine about my extensive knowledge of comic books and what I would have put in as the worst moments of superhero TV. I guess I’ll just make it up what was chosen. Damn me and my lack of paying attentioness! Errr… For the movie, Suburbicon. They went blockbuster this week, artsy the week before, why not a weird one next week? I think it might be too early for Murder on the Orient Express. Think the release date is the week after. But I could be mixed up. I’ll probably be watching My Little Pony because I promised my daughter, pray for me. As for the TV show, Ghosted. I have no reason why I have predicted it. None. Maybe because it’s Halloween today? Who knows? If they’re in reboot fever why not Will & Grace. I, love, that, show!

And they’re playing us out with a clip from The Bachelorette, it’s Jarrod’s rejection. Curb Your Enthusiasm music is being played over it and it is the best version yet. This is BRILLIANT! Champagne comedy. What a brilliant end.

For last week’s recap look here

Catch up on past episodes on iView here

Read why I think Stan Lee deserves a Nobel Prize in Literature here

Find out what Kerri Sackville says is the most realistic part of The Bachelorette here

Tweet with Sami Shah here

Tweet with Sophie Black here

Tweet with Marc Fennell here

Tweet with me here

Get tickets to the live recording here (they give you lollies, I repeat, they give you lollies)

Panic about NaNoWriMo everywhere.

Stan Lee Deserves the Nobel Prize in Literature

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Stan Lee – image found on Wikipedia

​Stan Lee deserves the Nobel Prize in Literature. I don’t say this lightly nor to shock, I say this because I believe it in my heart and I know that others will too. Stan Lee’s contribution to story-telling and Western culture has been undeniable, but he is often overlooked as being just a comic book writer, not a real writer. People expect Nobel Prize winners to write literary fiction, poetry or historical texts that expose previously undiscovered information, but this isn’t always the case. In 2016 Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize in Literature ‘for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.’ Has Stan Lee not created a new dynamic expression within the great comic tradition? Did his works not breathe fresh life into comics? Did he not challenge the comic industry’s censorship? Did this not flow into other forms of story-telling? In the Fantastic Four Stan Lee began using more casual dialogue than comics had previously. The heroes weren’t always proper and formal, but real and at times funny, this has been adopted by the next generation of writers who have relied on more realistic dialogue rather than a stiff upper lip. Characters are now far more relatable to readers.
As early as 1908 the Nobel Prize in Literature broke from poets and authors and named Rudolf Christoph Eucken their laureate for his works in philosophy. The prize was ‘in recognition of his earnest search for truth, his penetrating power of thought, his wide range of vision, and the warmth and strength in his numerous works he has vindicated and developed an idealistic philosophy of life.’ A beautiful sentiment and one that also applies to Stan Lee. Through his work in Spiderman Stan Lee began drawing real world problems into his comics. Spiderman had deal with anger, responsibility, impressing other teens and also doing the right thing. His youthful exuberance leapt off the page. There was a lot of humour but there was a real depth in the exploration of how and why we do the right thing and how and why we can be corrupted. Villains weren’t just some maniacal entity totally separate from us good people as had been previously depicted, but a potential part of all of us that we had to choose to be better than.
1936 saw Eugene O’Neill awarded the prize for his plays ‘for the power, honesty and deep-felt emotions of his dramatic works, which embody an original concept of tragedy.’ Stan Lee reinvigorated the classical portrayal of tragedy. His characters are larger than life with powers beyond that of regular mortals and as such when they fail there is often massive collateral damage. These heroes are forced to atone and continue on in the face of torture, loss, and grief. And Lee not only depicts tragedy as that of hero versus villain but also hero versus self. The hero that has been hurt and wanting to lash out needing to decide what is right and if they will do it. It is something that each and every one of us faces every day. Do we react with pettiness or do we do better.
In 2005 Harold Pinter won not only because of his theatrical plays but also his screenplays. Yes, the silver screen has been represented in the Nobel Prize in Literature, they have recognized modern and visual story-telling as valuable. Of Pinter it was said, ‘who in his plays uncovers the precipice under everyday prattle and forces entry into oppression’s closed rooms.’ The X-Men would be one of Lee’s most famous examples of scrutinizing oppression. Each side has their own prejudices, and each side has their defectors. It isn’t simply mutants taking on nonmutants but humanity in general recoiling from what is different from them. And then the divide within the mutant community as to should they do the right thing and use their powers to help humanity or give the humans what they deserve for treating those that are different so cruelly. Mutants, nonmutants, there are good and bad characters in both camps. This is an insight into who and what we are, not merely a fantastical story with awesome characters.

Short story writers have even gotten a look in courtesy of Alice Munro in 2013. Other short story writers had been awarded but it was also for their novels. Munro was the first to be recognized as ‘master of the contemporary short story.’ Different forms and lengths are being constantly recognized in the Nobel Prize, isn’t it time that comic books writers and graphic novelists got a look in? Don’t you think it’s time for Stan Lee to be awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature? I do.

This year, the hauntingly brilliant Kazuo Ishiguro was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. The reason – ‘who, in novels of great emotional force, has uncovered the abyss beneath our illusionary sense of connection with the world.’ Ishiguro is a master of building in metaphor upon realism to give a giant that represents the human existence. His excellence is not in question. His deservingness of the prize is not in question, but I would argue that Stan Lee is also deserving. Perhaps 2018 should be his year. The person who takes toxic waste and mutant genes and uses that to make us understand what it is to feel different and yet be the same. The person who makes us not only embrace the other but to believe in them and root for them. The person who makes us recognize the bigotry in ourselves and want to be better. Give Stan Lee the Nobel Prize in Literature, please. Plus, it’d give us geeks a sense of pride and belonging too. It’d make us feel like our stories mattered.

If you agree then share this blog entry, if you don’t… a lab accident will happen and NOBODY will get super powers, to be honest it’ll probably be kind of horrific, so you should probably share just to be safe.

See the list of past Nobel Prize in Literature recipients here

Learn more about me here

Find out about how I cope with being a dyslexic writer here

Considering #MeToo

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Considering #MeToo

It happens in the arts too. Liz Hall-Downs eloquent #metoo.

Liz Hall-Downs

It was way back in the 1980s, I was a creative writing student and had published a few poems, and I thought it was time I got a bit braver and hit the readings scene. There was a hippy cafe near whereI lived in Melbourne that had a friendly and well-attended weekly poetry night and I had faced the worst of the nerves here over some months. Now it was time to try the pub readings. Yeah, ‘just add alcohol’. What could possibly go wrong?
You start out thinking, ‘This is a poetry reading, I am a poet, therefore I belong here’.

I could not have been more wrong.

The #MeToo hashtag in recent weeks has demonstrated just how all-encompassing and pervasive sexual harassment and assault really is, across all professions and all sectors of society. And it also demonstrates the extent to which women have been gaslighted, not believed…

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Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 2: #ABCScreenTime

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Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 2: #ABCScreenTime

Panelists Sophie Black and Sami Shah

It’s time for episode two of Screen Time. The crowd is applauding, montages are flying, gorgeous 70s images and half-naked people can be seen. This isn’t just a convivial discussion of movies, it’s gritty and real. Nothing says that like nudity. Deal with it! 


Chris Taylor appears and is speaking but I cannot hear a word he says for there is an angel at his side. It is the one, the only, Judith Lucy. The crowd goes wild, and by the crowd, I mean myself and my amaretto sour. I cannot even begin to express how excited I am right now. Chris introduces the other panelists, Sami Shah is back, as is Sophie Black, along with first timers, JUDITH LUCY, and Michael Williams. I know that I have a nickname for him from my Book Club ABC recaps but for the life of me cannot remember what it is, so for now, it’ll just be Michael.

Small House Keeping Matter: I’m dyslexic. If you hate reading anything written by dyslexic writers you should probably just leave now. (The changing font sizes have nothing to do with my dyslexia and everything to do with my ineptitude. On my draft everything is uniform, I hit publish, CHAOS. Just treat it as a metaphor for existence.)

Chris tells us that we are getting straight to business. He’s pulling no punches and is going to the most pressing Hollywood news at the moment, Weinstei…. Oh, wait. My mistake. Got to eager. Chris plays a clip saying that Sex and the City 3 has been benched FOREVER.

Nobody seems too cut up about it.
Now they really are talking Weinstein. Harvey or Bob, take your pick. Chris asks the panelists if Hollywood should have seen this scandal coming. Judith gives a great big nope. Nope, they shouldn’t have seen it coming because they had been doing it for so long and nobody cared. Sophie agrees that the surprising and refreshing thing is that people finally care. Sophie says that it was an open secret. Wait, was that just a sneaky reference to the documentary that attempted to expose the rampant pedophilia in Hollywood? I think it was. Good work.

Chris points out the Meryl Streep was one of the first celebrities to condemn it but said many didn’t know of what was going on. On the other hand Anthony LaPaglia says, pigs arse. Okay, he didn’t literally say that, but he is Australian so I’d like to think that those were the words he thought. He says people have known about it for decades and done nothing. Michael says that the very least people can do is refuse to work with people that are, ‘criminal, depraved and monstrous.’ It’s a pretty low bar and everyone needs to step up to it.

Sami points out that he has worked in advertising, which means he understands all things depravity related, and that those behaviours are common there. But they are also common in the Australian media (I am waiting with baited breath to read Tracey Spicer’s article where she will name well known abusers), in accounting, and down at the corner shop. He says that society needs to step up, society is complicit, not just individuals.

Judith says that everyone needs to stand up. Quintin Tarantino has now spoken about it, but where was he before. Why wasn’t he demanding it stopped earlier? (Just quietly same with Kevin Smith? But maybe because men who didn’t come from fancy backgrounds were merely clinging on also. Maybe the dyslexic director who had trouble getting films made to begin with  felt like he couldn’t rock the boat, nor the dude who maxed out his credit cards to make his first movie….)

Sophie calls bullshit on all those men coming out saying that because they have a daughter they now understand. She says they shouldn’t care because they have a woman that belongs to them, but because women are people and deserving of respect. The fact that they only think of women’s rights in terms of if one has been formed from their sperm or not is a big part of the effing problem!!!!

Anyway, let’s get to discussing movies before I pass out in rage.
They’re discussing Good Time. Chris says that it is a heist film with Robert Pattinson playing the lead character who robs a bank along with his brother who has a generalised neurodevelopment disorder. Everything seems to be going too easily, they get the money without too much issue, but when they open up the bags to check for money…… BOOM, burning red paint everywhere. Kids at home, crime does not pay. Pattinson is then forced to get increasingly bad hair styles in order to free his brother.

Sami says that this movie is designed for arty types who wear clothes from the 1800s, have waxed moustaches, and laugh too loudly at bad jokes just to prove that they got them. He felt it could have benefited from adding some robots or spaceships. What film couldn’t be improved with just a smackle of sci fi? Sami, we have so much to discuss.

Michael disagrees. He says he liked Good Times and it had good stuff in it. Take that Sami, it had good stuff in it. A lot of good stuff. He speaks of cinematography and lighting. Excuse me whilst I pause the TV to see if there are any traces of a waxed moustache having been glued to Michael’s face recently…. Hmmmm, I can’t decide.

Judith says it was a nightmare. Sophie adds that the soundtrack was nightmare inducing.
Chris asks if this film will finally give Pattinson cred and drop him from the team idol list. Chris really liked Pattinson’s performance in this. Said he has never been so good. The other panelists answer, maybe. Judith says Orlando Bloom never lost his teen idol status, but it was because he didn’t make brave movie choices. I’m sure that swimming in an ocean of money earned from Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean has helped him come to terms with his choices. I quite enjoyed him in Ned Kelly.
So it looks like Good Times has been rated two nightmares, a good stuff, and a pickled moustache.

And now it is time for the middle of the show segment. Please be Sophie Monk again, pleasebesophiemonkpleasebesophiemonk. It is Not On My Watch.  Essentially Chris will tell us about a show he doesn’t like. Tonight’s pick is Cosmetic Coffee and it is on 7. Oh my goodness, it is hideous. Basically a cosmetic surgeon meets with patients in cafes, then goes back to his office making me wonder why he didn’t just start there, and then draws on them and lets them know what he finds gross about them, then he operates on them. So it is essentially advertising for his business. Chris finishes off the segment by saying advertorial dressed up as a medical show, not on my watch.
Whose watch did that happen on? Seriously! Who greenlit that?  I’ve got a show about a minotaur, a plucky journalist and hot cop uncovering the supernatural sex slave industry just waiting to be made. Call me. CALL MEEEEE! If you can make that shit, why not mine? Not that mine is shit. Mine is awesome and the best….

TV time!  Chris is introducing The Deuce currently playing on Foxtel. It is David Simon’s latest masterpiece. The montage is playing and it is high quality with a star studded cast. People such as James Franco and Maggie Gyllenhaal are in it. Chris says that Franco plays twins. And I’m laughing. I cannot stop laughing. Does anyone remember that Jean Claude Van Damme movie Double Impact?

It was so hilariously badgood. That’s all that I can think of right now. Hollywood, you know that you do actually have actors that are identical twins? You can stop doing the bad copying and disjointed back and forth. Just hire some of them. But enough about me, let’s see what the panel think.

Michael says he loves it. The cast is massive so rewards patience as it is revealed at a slow pace. Judith also loves David Simon and loved the show except for one tiny thing, James Franco. She also didn’t like James Franco as his twin, or as Judith puts it, the same person just wearing a hat. With or without a hat, she’s not interested.

Chris points out that Franco fans will get double their joy and then shows a clip. I’m guessing it is the worst example of his twin acting because I am rolling. Rolling. And yes, I am going to go there, as a mother of identical twin boys (I never thought I’d get to work an as a mother into a recap) this is hilarious. It’s the same guy. It’s the same guy with a different wig. It is not twins. Twins are not the same person. Identical twins are not the same person. If the great Jean Claude Van Damme, renowned across the land for his versatile acting skills could not pull this off…. Actually, now that I think about it I felt that Sam Underwood did a brilliant job plating identical twins in The Following. Such a hypocrite. I also loved the film Big Business which had two sets of twins. Bette Middler and Lily Tomlin were spectacular and I watched it seven billion times.

Michael of course loves it, because he has loved everything. What happened to Michael? He was the snarky one on The Book Club ABC, now he’s the lover? Showing his versatility, his softer side? I should appreciate it.

Don’t wink at me, Franco.

Sophie says she loves the show and she loves Simon because he is an angry patriot. He can give such loving yet searing critique of his country and society. Which is the perfect segue into talking about David Simon’s other work. Gotta hand it to Sophie, she’s profesh.
All the panelists agree that The Wire was fantastic. Sami ads that it is a take on Greek myths, where Gods play cruelly with the life of mortals. In The Wire corporations and powerful people are the Gods.

Chris asks why Simon’s other show, Treme, not take off. Sami says it is for two reasons. Firstly, too soon. It could never live up to the hype of The Wire because nothing could. Secondly, the focus was narrow. It was about jazz, and food, and what people perceived as things not pertinent to them, but he personally loved it.
The verdict is in, The Deuce is an absolute cracker and I want to watch it.

Time for Screen Time’s  Top Five. What will they be looking at this week? TWINS. Top five awfully portrayed identical twin kind of things.

Is nothing sacred?

Speaking of teen idols

This was bad

The king is dead

Knight Rider doing his thing

The list was good, but where the fuck was Double Impact???

And last but not least, the panelists get to recommend something for us to watch.
Michael: Sunshine

Sami: Patton Oswalt’s Annihilation

Sophie: Get Krack!n

Judith: I Love Dick

Robin: Screen Time (Okay, I’m not a panelist, but watch the show.)

And because we’ve all been so good, they’re going to show us a clip of David Hasselhoff fighting David Hasselhoff to end on. Because even David Hasselhoff wants to punch David Hasselhoff in the face.

Catch up on previous episodes on iView

Find Screen Time here

See last week’s recap here

Check out Chris here

Feast on Michael William’s glorious Ropinpedia entry here

Tweet with Sophie here

Buy Sami’s books here

Get tickets to Judith Lucy’s show here. Sydney based people can feel free to buy me a ticket too while you’re at it, I am delightful company.

Learn more about me here

Grab Tracey Spicer’s book here

Read Lauren Ingram’s piece on the issue with Weinstein and facing your abuser here

Read what Australian director Sophie Mathisen has to say about Weinstein and the Australian industry here

Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 1: #ABCScreenTime

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Screen Time ABC, Season 1, Episode 1: #ABCScreenTime

Today is the day, the very first episode of Screen Time. Chris Taylor, the host is looking excited. Excited and nervous. Excited, nervous, and desperate. You better like this show or ABC will axe even more stuff. No pressure. 


He tells us that we’re here to discuss movies, and television AND Youtube AND streaming and some other stuff. This isn’t just the reboot of At the Movies with the divine Margaret Pomeranz and scrumptious David Stratton, it’s At the Movies on steroids. More panelists, more mediums, more sexual chemistry. More more. But Chris is not just bringing intense personal magnetism, NO, he’s also bringing the smarts. So much so that he’s proving it by  flashing up a whole heap of numbers on the screen. Nothing says smart and sexy like data. If those graphics don’t justify why he gets to have this show nothing will.


Small housekeeping matter: I’m dyslexic, if you hate dyslexia and feel people with dyslexia should be mocked, go away.

Chris is introducing his panel of experts. There’s Sami Shah, Sophie Black, Zan Rowe, and Benjamin Law. Those of you who follow my recaps of The Book Club ABC will know I refer to him as BLaw. BLaw of the bare ankles…. What the deuce! He’s wearing red socks. I’m so confused. I updated his Wikipedia page to include his signature bare ankles and now he’s wearing socks. I’m scared. Hold me. No, not like that. Maybe he’s trying to draw the #sockwatch crowd over from The Book Club ABC? Now that they’ve been mercilessly axed.

But enough mourning, let’s engage with this new show. Chris tells us that they’ll be discussing Blade Runner 2049, which is a nice touch, a movie that’s new but already released so that we, the audience, have a chance to have an opinion too. It’s not a soon to be released with critics talking at us like so many other movie shows. Chris assures us that Ryan Gosling gives his most emotionally dead performance yet and that it was really long. Sounds fantastic. Let’s throw to Sami for his opinion…

… and he loved it. Sami says that he loved this movie despite this movie. He says that Jarrod Leto overacts more than ever, every women is crying and it fails the Bechdel Test, BUT it was cinematographically beautiful. He’s not sure why they seemed to insert a different movie into the middle of it and why so many bad acting choices were made but he loved it and everyone can shut up because it was pretty. Really, really pretty.

Sophie says that it was masterful and that it will stay with you for life. For life! And not just because of the kidney damage you’ll get from holding your bladder because it was sooooo long.

Zan is a bit more meh. It was pretty but hadn’t advanced enough. And all the mysteries were solved insultingly quickly. I hate it when story tellers insult their audience!

BLaw found it really current with the ecology issues and the cinematography stunning and said it made him feel like he’d smoked a giant bong…. overseas in a country where that is legal I’m sure. Put down your arrest warrants. He does mention that it is a bit whitewashed… or completely whitewashed.

Sami says that as a younger nerd he would have enjoyed Blade Runner 411 even more but now he knows that women are people too so that kind of spoiled it a bit. He credits the doco Born Sexy Yesterday, the Bechdel Test, and learning about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope with helping him develop in this area.

Chris says Harrison Ford was a better actor than Ryan Gosling. BLaw adds that Ryan Gosling is not hot. Finally, the important issues are being discussed.

The panel ponder that Blade Runner 2.0 hasn’t been the best in the earnings. Sami blames Trump and that people are stupid. Sophie says they need to appreciate the slowburn. Like a chilli sub?

And with that quiet pondering, the discussion on Blade Runner 90210 is over. Time for something new.

OMG it is glorious. I don’t quite know what is happening or why, and frankly I don’t care. All I know is that the greatest thing that you see this year is on television right now. It’s Sophie Monk inserted into the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice. They have superimposed Sophie Monks’ head over Elizabeth Bennett’s and are using her responses from The Bachelorette instead. Get on iView right now because my description cannot do this justice. It is spectacular. Please do this every week. Can they introduce a Logie for best segment? I need to go have a lie down. But I can’t because the show hasn’t ended yet.

Broad City. Yes, they’re now discussing that quiet little runaway. They’re showing clips and there is nudity and drug use. Oh my. Zan loves it and wants to be BFFs with the main characters.
BLaw says that it is filthy and tawdry. If you know BLaw then you know that means that he loves it. He also randomly reveals that he works in his undies. Hopefully there will be a follow-up episode on this very important matter.
Sophie loves that it is depicting women delighting in each other. Sammy loves that this show is finally giving women what they really want, a female Beavis and Butthead. It’s like Sami looked into my very soul and said, ‘I see you.’
Sophie also likes that it is very much Abbi and Ilana’s New York and not Woody Allen’s or Seinfeld’s New York. Chris ponders on how New York is killing it at diversity and feminism copared to LA. Totes, not like Allen or Seinfeld would be guilty of anything like Weinstein….
They’re showing another clip from the show, it involves pegging and now the panelists are saying pegging. Just start throwing Logies at this show now. The ABC are now across pegging.

They now have to compare the show Girls to Broad City because they’ve both got ladeez and therefore must be compared. Panelists have the revelation that not all things about the womenz are the same. That the shows and characters can be different. Unlike real life where we only fit into one of five personality types: Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte, or dull extra. I’m the dull extra. OMG, that’s such a Miranda thing to say.
Now they’re rating the five weirdest sex scenes. You can imagine the conversations amongst producers to get this segment in.
Exec 1: Viewers love those top five things, maybe we should do a top five relevant to the episode.

Soon to be fired exec: Yes! Finally! Let’s do top five female lead ensembles. Sex in the City, Golden Girls, Xena, Girls, Broad City, Big Little Lies, The Handmaid’s Tale, Orange is the New Black, Pulling, Insecure, Daria. I’ve got so much to share with you guys. Picking just five is going to be hard. Or maybe top five sci fi shows…

Exec the third: You know what else people love?

Soon to be fired exec: Feminism?

Exec the third: Sex! Let’s do top five sex scenes.

Exec 1: Best idea ever.

So the top 5 were:

5. Howard the Duck

4. Avatar

3. The Room

2. Return of Swamp Thing

1. Showgirls in the pool. Oh yay, a movie full of abuse and rape is sexually comical.

Next the panelists get to recommend something to watch.

Sami: The Expanse

BLaw: Ali’s Wedding

Zar: Terrace House

Sophie: Tiny Kitchen

And that’s it. See you next week for more awesome talking about movies and stuff…. But not before a quick confession. I was in the audience so this is more of a director’s cut recap, has some things in it that hit the editing room floor. But the Sophie Monk / Pride and Prejudice mashable is definitely in there. Get on iView and watch it now. It will make your week!

Catch up on episodes on iView

Find Screen Time here

Find Chris here

Find BLaw here

Find Sophie here

Find Sami here

Find Zan here

Learn about the Bechdel Test here

Read about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope here

Watch Born Sexy Yesterday here

Find out about me here

I Need to Share This With You

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Today I went and bought an emergency pack of tampons. My period came two days early. I was caught out, in the wilderness of metropolitan Sydney. I rushed into a pharmacy, grabbed a pack of tampons, went to the counter where a young male scanned my tampons. At the end of the transaction he asked me if I wanted a bag. I had my own bag and so responded with, “no thanks, I’m just going to stick them straight in.” That’s right. I said, about tampons, I’M JUST GOING TO STICK THEM STRAIGHT IN!!!!

The guy’s eyes widened in a disbelieving horror that you could see unfolding over and over again in his mind as the visuals became more and more graphic. I finally cottoned on and said, “in my own bag.” But it was too late, we all know it was too late. I will forever be the woman who overshared with the checkout guy at Chemist Works.
For the record, I meant STICK THEM IN MY BAG NOT RAM A WHOLE PACKET UP MY VAJAYJAY…. but I did indeed run straight to the toilet and stick one, SINGULAR tampon in.
I just needed to get that off my chest.