Doctor Whodiac

For those of you who love Timelords and need more out of your horoscopes. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doctor-Who-Fans-Against-Bullying-Admins/261964893859032?ref=hl

WOBIN’S WHODIAC – November

 

Zomies (March 21- April 19)

You hear a rumour that the apocalypse is approaching. You start buying canned goods and large bags of ice to keep your milk cold. Your neighbours think you’re crazy but you’ll soon show them.

 

Chelomiaus (April 20- May 20)

Beans are not your friend this week. Gas is moving across Uranus so it’s best to stick to leafy greens and plenty of water.

 

Florani (May 21- June 20)

You can’t seem to escape politics. Every time you pick up a newspaper, magazine, turn on the radio or TV, politicians are banging on. They make no sense to you. You watch Terry Jones’s Brazil, it makes more sense.

 

Kletchoner (June 21- Jul 22)

You spend your time looking up comedy sketches of Doctor Who. Unfortunately every second clip you find is a dog licking its owner’s foot.

 

Apalapuciao (Jul 23- Aug 22)

You do some research on evolution. Hoping to track down exactly what point monkeys turned into apes. Sadly you find out that humans didn’t come from Neanderthals, we killed them.

 

Biblioso (Aug 23- Sept 22)

Avoid dairy products. You have a curdling touch this month so may find dairy to be quite upsetting on the tum tum.

 

Althracra (Sept 23- Oct 22)

You think about sending candid photos of yourself to the Moffinator in order to get on Who. Don’t do it, he’ll take out a restraining order.

 

 

Laborio (Oct 23- Nov 21)

You read that Disney bought Star Wars. You bitterly wish they’d buy Who so that you could go to Who Land. You read the Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) and it refills you with childlike wonder.

 

Persisius (Nov 22- Dec21)

How many chucks would a wood chuck cuck? Who cares? It’s like forever until the Christmas special and you’re in a mood. Try candle making.

 

Mechunuscorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)

You think that your neighbour is Timelord so camp out and watch him all day long. You havecameras on him at all times and tap his phone. Knock knock knock. Who’s there? THE POLICE

 

Matravius (Jan 20- Feb 18)

You can’t stop thinking about cake. Your loved ones try to communicate with you but all you can think of is cake. Go on, have a slice of cake. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Gallifres (Feb 19- March 20)

Your creative juices are flowing. You sign up for NaNoWriMo with the plan of writing Ewok/Doctor Who crossover fan fiction. Winners are grinners.

Star Wars Zodiac

For those of you who love Star Wars yet feel horoscopes never truly meet you needs https://www.facebook.com/alderaanprincess?ref=hl

November Star Wardiac

 

Kessies (March 21- April 19)

You hear a rumour that Disney is planning on making a ton of Ewok spinoff movies. You assume that the apocalypse is approaching. You start buying canned goods and large bags of ice to keep your milk cold. Your neighbours think you’re crazy, but you’ll soon show them. You’ll show them all. Mwa ha ha ha ha.

 

Geonosus (April 20- May 20)

Beans are not your friend this week. Gas is moving across Uranus so it’s best to stick to leafy greens and plenty of water. Think, what would an Ewok eat? And then do the opposite.

 

Yavinni (May 21- June 20)

You can’t seem to escape politics. Every time you pick up a newspaper, magazine, turn on the radio or TV, politicians are banging on. They make no sense to you. You watch a fan piece on Jar Jar Binks and it makes more sense than the politics. Yikes

 

Utaper (June 21- Jul 22)

You spend your time looking up comedy sketches of Star Wars. Unfortunately every second clip you find is a dog licking its owner’s foot. Little bit disappointing as you were kind of hoping to “accidentally” stumble upon other material.

 

Hotho (Jul 23- Aug 22)

You do some research on evolution. Hoping to track down exactly what point monkeys turned into apes. Sadly you find out that humans didn’t come from Neanderthals, we killed them. You also discover that Yoda and Yogurt aren’t related.

 

Tatooino (Aug 23- Sept 22)

You watch episode IV over and over again and cry. Such genius, such execution, such script. Will this ever be recaptured again. You write a letter to Donald Duck outlining your concerns. You then read some adventures of Chloe Prime: Alien Space Vet (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) and that cheers you up no end.

 

Sullustra (Sept 23- Oct 22)

You think about sending candid photos of yourself to Mickey Mouse in order to get a part in the new Star Wars flic to be released in 2015. Don’t do it, he’ll take out a restraining order. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again. You don’t mess with Mickey!

 

Endorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)

You read that Disney bought Star Wars. You bitterly wish they’d buy your creative works so that you could spend your days rolling in cash like a fat cat.

 

Dagobahius (Nov 22- Dec21)

How many chucks would a wood chuck cuck? Who cares. It’s like forever until the 2015 when Episode VII comes out, and you’re in a mood. Try candle making or some pottery.

 

Corellicorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)

You think that your neighbour is holding Ewoks captive in their basement, so camp out and watch him all day long. You have cameras on him at all times and tap his phone. Knock knock knock. Who’s there? THE POLICE

 

Naboous (Jan 20- Feb 18)

You can’t stop thinking about cake. Your loved ones try to communicate with you but all you can think of is cake. You start shaping cake out of mashed potatoes. You watch Episode VI, Yoda looks delicious. Go on, have a slice of cake. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Alderaanes (Feb 19- March 20)

Your creative juices are flowing. You sign up for NaNoWriMo with the plan of writing Star Wars/Timelord crossover fan fiction. Winners are grinners my friend. Winners are grinners.

Juniper Part 1

Juniper sat on the bower of his willow tree staring at the leaf scattered ground below. He was hiding away hoping that the human voices he could hear, intruding into his enchanted woods, would not come near him.

SNAP.

A twig broke under Juniper’s fair willow tree; he glanced towards the noise and saw two humans walking directly underneath his tree. He huddled his furry legs into his chest and shrank back into his tree. The woodland creature did not want to be seen. It wasn’t typical of the fey folk to want to totally avoid humans, in fact many delighted in granting wishes and giving gold coins when the occasion arose, but Juniper had a problematic past. You see, whenever Juniper was seen by a human he had to take them of a timely tour of the Fey Kingdom, rather than merely grant a quick wish, and then introduce them to their queen. Sure in his younger days he had wanted to do his feyly duties and take stray humans on tours but that had all stopped with the very first, and last, human he had encountered. It had been an unmitigated disaster that had nearly resulted in a massive war across the fey world. Thirty years had passed yet Juniper still shuddered at the memory.

“Look Mummy.” A child’s voice called out. “A fairy.”

Juniper froze in panic and peaked through the leaves to see a finger pointing towards him. His panic thawed into hot rage. He wasn’t a stupid ruddy fairy. He was a woodland nymph. A goat nymph at that, not a silly, pansy fairy. He had furry legs with hoofs, not wings with sparkles.

BUZZZZZ!

Oh, there were fairies. A group of floating flower fairies flittered over towards the humans. Relief. Juniper no longer had to worry, it had been the fairies that the little girl had seen, not him. She would get garlands of fairy flowers more delightful than anything found in the human world, rather than muck up his nice quiet life.

“Oh no!” The older human said, protectively grabbing the girl. “Not fey folk, not again. You get away from us.”

She started swatting madly at the fairies in an attempt to drive them away. Unfortunately this had quite the opposite effect than desired. You see fairies are a gossipy, curious creature and the hubbub drew more out to watch the spectacle. Some had binoculars to view better and some even ate popcorn. The woman continued to shriek and swat. Most people loved fairies. They delighted and danced in their presence. This was odd. Juniper couldn’t help but sense something familiar about this woman. He edged further along his branch until he was right on the tip and stared hard. Oh dear. It was her. It was his human. It was the little girl who had gotten him into all that trouble. Well, not so little anymore. He should have run away, he should have left things alone but he couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness. This was his human. They’d been to hell and back together. She belonged to him, not them. And besides, fairies are really so very annoying. Before he even knew what he was doing, Juniper was rushing out of the tree towards his human.

National Novel Writing Month

Well I’ve just signed up for NaNoWriMo. Not quite sure what I’m doing. slightly confused and concerend at the moment as what to do. I know the basic storyline of what I want to do, I’ve got the idea but am not quite sure how to navigate the site and what to do. Should be fun. So who is going to join me on my quest?

Novel November

Well Novel November is fast approaching. I’ll be doing a daily update of something I’m calling “Thirty Shades of Separation”. Cannot wait for November so that I can start. It shall  be a fairly serious piece  so a nice change of  pace for me. Hope everybody is getting on board for Novel November and I get to read lots of interesting new things.

Chloe Prime

I’ve started a new series of blogs for kids to enjoy.

http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com/

B.U.M. is the word

I think my love of literature was inspired by the word bum. As a child I adored the word. I would use it at nauseam. I could turn ever conversation back to bum, in particular, bear or bare bum. For example, “What are you watching?” – “Play School. Little Ted has a bear bare bum.” Champagne comedy. My mother, on the other hand, was not overly fond of the word. I must confess that she still is not. She felt it was most unbecoming of a young lady and tried to think of various other things I could say instead. All with no avail, bum was the word I loved, bum was the best. The most success my mother had was after one of my siblings had dropped the c bomb (yes, THE c bomb) and my mother tottered out that tired old adage, “If you don’t know what it means, don’t say it.” I chimed in with how I knew what a bum was and proceeded to define it at length. So my mother told me, “If you don’t know how to spell it then don’t say it.” Despite the fact that this statement had no logic, if this was the case then all I could really say at the time was my name, it stumped me. So I studied the alphabet on my wall for quite some time and then finally burst out of my room yelling, “BUM! I can say it! B.U.M.” My mother, rather than falling over herself congratulating me for my exceptional development in  literacy, was not impressed at all. In fact, she simply sniffed and walked away, shooting a withering glare over her shoulder. For the next few months I proceeded to tell every single person that I encountered that I knew how to spell bum and then spell it for them. Be careful what you say to your children, it does not always quite work out as you’d wish. My mother did not clasp her hand is delight and squee over how clever I was at this point either. Unbelievable! However, I think if it was not for this overwhelming need to uncover the mystery of the word bum then I possibly would not have then started searching for new words. Truly, bum inspired my love of literature. Brava for bum.

Aspirations of a ten year old

My first novel was a gripping Fantasy adventure that covered multiple lands from under water worlds, to forests, to remote islands, to places that existed in air breaches between land and water. It had it all. I was ten, I had read “Magician” and “Spell Singer”, I knew what I was doing. It followed the journey of a sexy hobbit (that was one of my many points of difference that I thought would get the punters in) called Arti and his mission to stop the encroaching darkness with his trusty band of representatives from other species. Now of course there were lots of problems with the girls fighting over Arti, him almost disrupting the wedding of the Fairy King’s daughter and him generally being so darned appealing that all the other males hated him. Love stories, darkness, a varied setting, what more could you want? Thoughtful names? Well I had those two. I made extensive use of my thesaurus. One of the characters, who was a cross between a Gandalf and a Macros the Black figure, was named Callow Erudite. Now these seemed like totally fine words for names to me at the time because I hadn’t really heard them before, and so assumed nobody else would have either. He was an old and wise magician who looked extremely young. He was guarded by a shape shifting gargoyle. Or was it a griffin? Something g related. So, as you can clearly see, I had it all. Just one problem, my public (my older brother and sister) simply could not get to the blistering sexual magnetism of Arti, nor the rich tapestry that was the land, and they certainly didn’t encounter the carefully planned characters, because they simply could not get past the introduction. My sister laughed hysterically, slight problem as it was not meant to be comedic, and my brother tried to be tactful and offer suggestions. I refused to take them all. I knew better. I was ten and utterly brilliant. I’d written a novel, what was his greatest achievement at the time? Finishing his School Certificate? Constantly topping English? Becoming Dux repeatedly? All utter rubbish compared to my brilliant and gripping novel. Now I’ll include my prologue below and we’ll see if you can pick the unfair criticisms levelled at my masterpiece.

 

Prologue

This story was set long ago, long before there were humans. It was a set in time when, Cerberuses, Cyclopeses,  Dark Elves, Demons,Dragons, Druids,  Dwarves,  Enchanters, Fairies,  Fays, Feys,Forest Elves, Furies,Gargoyles, Ghouls, Giants, Gnomes, Goblins, Griffins, Gypsies, Hags, Halflings, Hermits, Hobbits,Hobgoblins,  Imps, Lemures, Mages, Magicians, Medusas, Mermaids, Minotaurs, Monsters,  Muses, Necromancers, Ogres, Orcs, Pegasuses, Phantoms, Pirates, Pixies, Poltergeists, Prophets, Sirens, Sorceresses, Spectres, Sprites (water, earth, fire and air sprites), Star Elves, Trolls, Unicorns, Vipers, Warlocks,Werewolves,Witches, Wraiths, and talking animals  roamed the earth.

Quick confession: I removed quite a number of creatures because I could not be bothered typing up a page worth of fantastical beasts. Perhaps my brother was onto something. 🙂

Discovery

I’m currently on a journey of self discovery… and not a good one. I’ve discovered a few home truths about myself that will shock and appall some readers. Please take a seat and make sure you’re in a safe place. Shhhhhh, it’s okay we’re in a safe place. My two main confessions of this moment are 1. I don’t know anywhere near enough about technology to start my own website and I’d really like to but reading up on things like joomla and dreamweaver make me nearly die of snoredom. 2 I don’t use commas nearly enough. Yep. I’m a techno noob who lacks punctuations skills. This is a slight problem for one whose dreams are lofty, who aspires to greatness, whom wishes to become that most magnificent of beasties, an author. So I shall share my perilous journey through my attempts to become greater than I am, and at the very least give a “How Not to Get Published” guide, and perhaps share some fun facts, uninspiring thoughts and some tid bits… or tids of tids bits. Don’t want to go all crazy and out there and offer a whole tid bit and then find I can’t deliver. Phew. Okay, so it’s official. I am a world famous blogger of massive greatness and have complete my first blog… now.