Monthly Archives: May 2017

The Great Con: women actually do ask for help.

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I keep reading newspaper reports about how women keep depression and anxiety a secret and don’t seek help. I then speak to women who mouth the same thing that they didn’t ask for professional help BUT then they outline all the ways they did in fact ask for help, all the while saying they didn’t. The same goes for physical conditions. Women tell me how they told partners and doctors how they were tired, how they were gaining weight, how they didn’t have energy, how their memory was faltering and yet still finish off with saying they never spoke to anybody about their depression.

Now why would women detail to me a whole bunch of symptoms that are linked to depression that they have told their doctors about and then say that they didn’t tell anyone about it? Clearly they have told their doctor symptoms by their own admission so why do they then claim they didn’t speak about it? Because the great con is that women have been conditioned to think if they don’t get medical help it is because they didn’t ask properly. They’ve been convinced that they haven’t asked for help because they didn’t provide the doctor with a diagnosis and ask for help with that specific thing. Women are expected to do the the doctor’s job of diagnosis in order to get help. This is an ongoing issue in the medical profession as outlined in the study, The Girl Who Cried Pain: A Bias Against Women in the Treatment of Pain, women are routinely dismissed. They’re asking just fine, they shouldn’t have to diagnose themselves, that’s actually the doctor’s job, but there is an inherent bias against them.

It’s time to stop meekly standing by as we lose more and more women to suicide and watch more and more women lose mobility because of lack of treatment and continue to say, “Oh, it’s our fault, we mustn’t have asked correctly.” Men are given treatment and further testing when they give their symptoms, women are sent away. Women are forced to come back time and time again trying to get help. It’s the real reason why women see doctors more often than men do. They have to because they are forced to go back because they keep getting dismissed and the problem continues.

Women, you shouldn’t have to do the doctor’s job in order to get help. You shouldn’t have to be medically trained and able to diagnose pancreatitis, or stroke, or anxiety, or pelvic dislocation, that’s the doctor’s job. If you’ve mentioned your symptoms you have in fact asked for help. Let’s not be part of this system that undermines women. Let’s back ourselves and say we are worthy of treatment and we are perfectly capable of communicating symptoms. We actually do deserve treatment and this bias needs to stop. We’re not the problem, the unconscionable bias against us is.

Here are some further articles I think many of you will relate to. Happy reading.

She Thought She’d Pulled a Hip Muscle, But Six Doctors Couldn’t Diagnose Her Pain.

Diagnosis: Sexism

When Gender Stereotypes Become a Serious Hazzard to Women’s Health

Endometriosis and the Dangers of Period Pain Dismissal

I Screamed and Screamed and Screamed but Nobody Would Listen to Me.

Buy my shit here.

Rage against the machine… everywhere and anywhere?

P.S. If I had a penny for every female who told me that they were told by medical professionals that women just got tired, grumpy, fat, weak, and lose memory at x age, x ranging from 16-60, but persisted and after countless dismissals finally got a diagnosis and got treatment, I’d have a lot of pennies…. Sadly, I’d have way more pennies than I earn from writing. You don’t have to accept that women just fall apart. We don’t. No more so than men.

If you or someone you know has postnatal depression you can find good resources on the following sites:

  1. Gidget Foundation http://gidgetfoundation.com.au/
  2. PANDA http://www.panda.org.au/
  3. PIRI http://www.piri.org.au/
  4. Black Dog Institute http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
  5. Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au/

NSW Premier’s Literary Awards 

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We need to talk literary news. NSW Premier’s Literary Awards news. And by talk, I mean let me tell you the winners 

Royall Tyler won the Translation Prize

Jan Owen won the Early Career Translation Prize

Maxine Beneba Clarke won the Multicultural Award for The Hate Race. (Maxine wrote an acceptance speech which her editor, Robert Watkins, read on her behalf. He cried, the audience cried. A beautiful message of doing better and being kinder.)

Leah Purcell won the Nick Enright Prize for Playwriting AND the Book of the Year

Both Shelley Birse and Abe Forsyth won thr Betty Roland Prize for Scriptwriting 

Leanne Hall won the Patricia Wrightson Prize for Children’s Literature

James Roy and Noel Zihabamwe won the Ethel Turner Prize for Young People’s Literature 

Peter Boyle won the Kenneth Slessir Prize for Poetry

Thornton McCamish won the Douglas Stewart Prize for Non-Fiction

Michelle Cahill won the UTS Glenda Adams Award for New Writing

Heather Rose won the Christina Stead Prize for Fiction…. she was set upon by a band of rampaging feminist fans, picture below

My friends Lisa Fleetwood, Helen Petrovic and I throwing ourselves at Heather Rose. She was AMMMAAAAZZZZIIIINNNGG.

Read a more detailed summary, by Helen Petrovic, here.

Why Don’t You Just Block Them?

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I blocked this person, claiming to be a writer but has a dating site as their website, pretty quickly. They continued on tweeting about me for another 15 screen caps. And what was it in response to? I called Donald Trump and Mark Latham a cunt. I didn’t @ this person, I don’t follow them and never have. I simply tweeted this- (Note: all screen caps are of PUBLIC posts)

It chose to interact to tell me that women shouldn’t swear and then to call me a bad mother because of it. It then chose to @ me pretending they were responding to things I had said long after I had blocked them. So this is possibly why people don’t just block, because some fake accounts will continue to harass you and slander you long after you block them. How about instead of telling people to just block, we tell harassers to stop being arseholes? They chose to attack me, my parenting, my relationship, and my writing skills all because they said they didn’t like swearing. 

Mum was a potty mouth? Mum is a potty mouth but she rarely swears in front of us.

Yeah, I want attention, that’s why I’m harassing random people on the internet and refusing to leave them alone. Oh wait, that’s not me.


Ohhhh but wait, they also swear. They’re attacking me for swearing yet it’s okay for them to swear. Clearly their issue with swearing is contrived nonsense and just an excuse to troll.

They are well and truly blocked at the point yet still keep going. 

Spoiler alert it says Jesus and Hell a lot. That’s considered blasphemy and cursing.

Don’t swear ladeez, it’s only for men. Men won’t think you’re attractive if you swear and we all know that’s the most important thing ever.

What is this “No girl” shit? I never told her to get over it. She wants to not swear she can not swear, don’t shove it down my throat. She’s the one forcing her way on others, I didn’t start @ing her demanding that she swears.

Bring hella fury??? I haven’t responded to her in ages. Show? I’m not on TV or YouTube. What the heck???

So now it is telling Adam Hill how many hashtags he can have? Why is it still @ing me? WTF is “you like?” In regards to? Is it imagining a conversation between us? Is it responding to imaginary tweets? What mistress, what old club? WTF?

It’s doing it again. Responding as if I said something. It’s responding as if I said, “Don’t tweet that shit at me, I’m a wife and mother.” Literally never happened. People deserve respect because they are people, until they lose it by having tirades about my fitness to parent, and tone policing me. Respect has nothing to do with how many babies came out of you, it’s about being a decent person. So it is way off base with their imaginary conversation.

And I’m spent. So this is why it’s not as simple as blocking. Because they can keep at you after you blocked them. They can keep pretending to be conversing with you after you blocked them. They can continue drawing attention to you long after you blocked them…. seriously, still block and run though. You don’t need that popping up in your notifications. Just saying it isn’t so simple.
Oh, and for the record, Mark Latham and Donald Trump have a history of abusing and marginalising women, so I absolutely stand by my first tweet. Fuck ’em.

Natasha Lester: #Robinpedia

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Natashalester1.jpg

 

Natasha Lester is an Australian writer with a Masters in Creative Writing and a PhD in being farken fabulous. When she isn’t writing she enjoys yoga, sorting through her extensive lipstick collection, buying shoes, and drinking gin. I believe her gin cupboard looks something like this. 

Prior to entering the Australian authorial world Natasha Lester worked in public relations and marketing. She has worked for heavyweights such as L’Oréal, Maybelline and Harlequin. Thankfully she abandoned the glamorous life of PR and became a povo writer instead. It involves just as much drinking of gin but far less money.

 

Lester’s first book, What is Left Over, After was published by Freemantle Press in 2010.She did what any first time author would do and took a bunch of shelfies. Don’t pretend that we don’t all do it. This was followed up in 2012 with If I should Lose You. For her third book, Lester switched to writing historical romance. She released A Kiss From Mr Fitzgerald in 2016 through Hachette, this was quickly followed up by Her Mother’s Secret in 2017.

 

When Natasha Lester isn’t doing yoga whilst writing and applying lipstick she teaches writing. Frequently through The Australian Writers’ Centre.

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Find Natasha Lester’s website here

 

Chat to Natasha Lester on Twitter here

 

Drop Natasha Lester a line on Facebook here

 

Grab her books here

 

Check out my review of A Kiss From Mr Fitzgerald for Newtown Review of Books here

 

Read more about Robinpedia here

 

Buy my shit here

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: I screamed and screamed and screamed but nobody would listen to me

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I have been diagnosed with postnatal depression twice in my life, both times I begged for help very loudly and very clearly, and it fell on deaf ears.

Mixed Media Canvas by

Sillier than Sally Designs

People seem to think that women with postnatal depression keep everything bottled inside and never ask for help. I did ask for help. I begged for it. Sure some people have never ever asked for help ever, but most actually do.

Firstly I asked my husband for help when my daughter was born. He said no. He reminded me that the nurse we did a birth course with said that the working partner had to be fit for work so it wasn’t appropriate to ask them for too much help. And she did say that, she really did I told my GP I wasn’t coping, that my daughter wouldn’t sleep so I couldn’t and I was exhausted. It took her two hours to feed, then she’d only sleep in my arms. The GP flat out told me I was lying and being a typical first time mum. She said if that was true I’d be dead. I said I was already throwing up and my legs were buckling under me. She just sighed and told me that as my daughter was 5 weeks premature that she needed extra care and to deal with it. I spoke to my community nurses, they again said I was just being a hysrical first time mum. To just cut her off feeding and to put her down. Putting her down resulted in her shrieking in pain, a piercing cry far different from I’m hungry or I want a cuddle, and then would explode in vomit. I told the nurses and the GP this. They just sighed and dismissed me.

Now that I’ve read The Girl Who Cried Pain I understand why. It’s because women are far more likely to be dismissed and left untreated by medical professionals. It’s why women have to see doctors more often, we get sent away without follow up treatment or testing. We have to go back. This study should be mandatory reading for all medical students.

When my daughter was 4 months old she needed her vaccinations, my regular GP was busy, the receptionist recommended another GP. I took the appointment. When I put my daughter down to be weighed and she immediately began shrieking and then gurgling with vomit the doctor diagnosed her with reflux. It wasn’t a subtle case. It was an obvious case that should have been picked up by any medical professional easily. But of course, the ones I’d encountered had their “hysterical mother” blinkers on. She also picked up that my daughter had hip dysplasia. It was so bad that a large part of her pelvis hadn’t formed. Within two weeks my daughter had been put in for surgery and placed in a spica cast. She was also given reflux medication. These are two things a parent CANNOT treat. These are two things that specialists need to diagnose and treat. The medical system failed my daughter because they didn’t listen to me because they felt that I was a silly first time mother. They made the start of my child’s life agony because of their unconscionable bias.

Of course after months of being ignored and left with no sleep I was in a bad way. I would cry, I would vomit, I would collapse. My body was broken but my soul was too. The medical staff hadn’t believed me and my husband trusted them over me because they had the medical degrees. He started to come around after the specialists came flocking and he realised the initial medical professionals had been very fucking wrong and he had been wrong to believe them and treat me accordingly. After my daughter was starting to settle my new GP, the only one I see now, said that now that the intensive treatment of my daughter was starting to dissipate it was time to focus on me.

I was given a mental health check, I failed spectacularly… or aced it? I was prescribed antidepressants and referred to a psychologist. I got the initial set amount and then the two extensions for more for extreme cases. That’s right, extreme. There was nothing subtle or small about it. And I continued to see that therapist afterwards until my money ran out. Things began to settle.

And then I had a miscarriage followed by reoccurring bouts of pancreatitis. It was not fun and involved far too much time in hospital for my liking.

Enter the twins. I got pregnant with twins immediately after a three week stay in hospital. Clearly my husbandis a very sexy man and I just can’t keep my hands off him. The pregnancy went really well up until 30 weeks. And then it continued to go badly until my boys were born via emergency c-section at 32 weeks. They were 8 weeks early. The spent 3 weeks in the NICU. When I went for checkups for the twins back at the hospital I said I was exhausted and having three kids under three years old was really hard. I also mentioned that the twins clearly had reflux like their big sister had and having to keep them both upright was hard, they were basically living in their car seats being rocked. The hospital paediatrician told me that all prem babies had some reflux issues but it couldn’t be that bad or they wouldn’t have been discharged. Again, I was called a liar. When I spoke to the hospital social worker she said, “That’s life in the fast lane.” I was again dismissed.

And then I ended up in hospital with pancreatitis again. Doctors don’t know why, that’s the reality for 20% of cases. So I was in hospital pumping milk but not allowed to eat or drink. I kept needing shots of glucose. At no point was I offered any assistance on how I was to cope with this situation. I was discharged, still weak and sick, and expected to immediately go back into full time care of my three children, the oldest was two. Given that the medical professionals weren’t willing to say I was sick and needed help why would my husband and others believe I was? So I suffered on. And I truly mean suffered. Until my boys and I ended up in hospital again.

The boys had bronchiolitis. My daughter had a cold and had passed it on to the kids. We’d been told to have our daughter taken care of by family members so that she wasn’t in the house with the boys as they were too little. Unfortunately we couldn’t get someone who would look after her for the duration of her cold and she was returned to us sick complete with an lecture. The boys got sick. The boys couldn’t breath so off we went.

I was ready to die. Nobody would listen to me again and I knew that people rush to help widowed men. It was time to die. I had decided that once my husband visited the boys in hospital I would pretend I was going to the bathroom but in reality walk into traffic. And then the paediatrician who had treated my daughter for reflux walked passed talking to another doctor. I had one last hope. I called out and said hello. He looked over at me, immediately excused himself from the other doctor and came over. I looked like hell and he wasn’t going to walk passed like everyone else. Hevsat me down and asked me how I was. I told him, just like I had told everyone else, but he believed me. He didn’t dismiss me. He called the NICU social worker. She was a different one from the one I saw when my boys were in a NICU. She apologised and saidI should have been picked up earlier. I had several risk factors

  1. Premature birth
  2. The under threes were outnumbering us
  3. Previous history
  4. I had been hospitalised with illness

I should have been helped long before this moment. I should have been referred at the very latest when I was hospitalised with pancreatitis. She was so sorry. They could have referred me to get 50 hours babysitting a week because I was an ill primary carer. BUT I was passed that now so she was going to refer me to the hospital psychiatric team. They referred me to a psychiatric hospital with a Mother and Baby unit. Once the boys were well enough to be discharged from the regular hospital we went straight there. And the rest you know because it’s in my book.

I was one of the many women who did not suffer in silence. I suffered out loud very much BEGGING for help and was ignored. I am not alonein this. Perpetuating the stereotype that women who aren’t helped simply didn’t ask for it, or didn’t ask for it correctly, is dangerous and victim blaming. We need to demand more of our medical professionals. We need to demand a systematic change in the treatment of women. And yeah, I get it #notallmedicalprofessionals but enough of them. Enough of them to make it a subconscious bias that pervades the field. I again urge you to read The Girls Who Cried Pain. Let’s not keep women screaming in the wilderness. Let’s demand change. We are 50% of the population and deserve equal respect and equal treatment.
If you or someone you know has postnatal depression, don’t hesitate to cook them fully prepared meals (not partially, FULLY), and do their washing. You can also find great resources at The Gidget Foundation.
So, how did hearing my story in my own words compare to hearing it from journalists from Kidspot and Femail?

Suicide is the number one cause of death amongst women postnatally, not medical complications. Don’t you think it’s time we started to listen to women when they ask for help?

Find my book on booktopia or everywhere.

If you or someone you know has postnatal depression you can find good resources on the following sites:

  1. Gidget Foundation http://gidgetfoundation.com.au/
  2. PANDA http://www.panda.org.au/
  3. PIRI http://www.piri.org.au/
  4. Black Dog Institute http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
  5. Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: I’m in Kidspot 

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Image courtesy of super babe Josie Neeves Photography.

Tania Connolly recently conducted an interview with me about my experience with postnatal depression and having three under three. Hope you enjoy it.
http://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/parenthood/mums/how-three-under-three-left-me-in-a-psychiatric-hospital

It is always interesting for me reading about my own experience but from another person’s perspective. How did you find reading my story, that you’re used to hearing about from me, through Tania Connolly’s lense? How does it compare to my first ever interview with one Lauren Ingram?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4083002/Mother-contemplated-suicide-reveals-s-like-psychiatric-hospital-post-natal-depression.html

Grab my book from Booktopia or everywhere really. 🙂

You Can’t Insist An Entire Cultures Gets Stockholm Syndrome 

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Let’s try an empathy task today. Can you imagine if someone broke into your house, held you prisoner, made you work for them, raped some of your family members and stayed in your home enslaving you until they had their own family, which you were also a slave to, and got too big so moved out but moved next door? In fact, they and their family moved into every house on the street. They stopped beating you but they still treated you like you were less than them and complained that you didn’t come to street parties. And then on top of all that, they got one of your own artwork, had it printed on a t-shirt and started selling them. You got none of the money and gave no permission. Can you imagine that you’d feel grateful or like those people had taken violation to a whole new level? They’d beaten and subjugated you for years and now they were profiting off of it, do you think it would be reasonable for people to insist that you should just get over it because they weren’t literally in your kitchen anymore? Would you tell them to be grateful? I wouldn’t. They could feel angry and violated or they could feel apathetic or they could feel like they could capitalise. How they would feel would be up to them and I certainly wouldn’t be denying them their right to justifiable rage. As someone from outside of their home I wouldn’t get to choose how they felt.


You Do Mothers’ Day Your Way

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A note on Mothers’ Day:

Should you wish to spend it taking a break and relaxing, you should feel entitled to want that. Don’t let others make you feel bad for that.
Should you wish to spend it surrounded by your young children enjoying all their little quirks, you should feel entitled to want that. Don’t let others make you feel bad for that. 
Should you wish to be spoiled rotten for all the hard work you’ve done, you should feel entitled to want that.  Don’t let others make you feel bad for that. 
Should you wish for a hug and a kiss, you should feel entitled to want that. Don’t let others make you feel bad for that.
Should you wish to grieve either the loss of a loved one or the childhood an abusive mother stole from you, then you should feel entitled to do that. Don’t let others make you feel bad for that.

Should you wish to put your children at risk with negligence or abuse, don’t do that.

Should you wish to destroy another mother’s Mothers’ Day by making them serve and bow down to you when you’ve had decades of getting to be the mother when their journey into motherhood is just beginning, don’t do that. 

If your MIL or other always destroyed your Mothers’ Day by making you stressed and jump through hoops, don’t continue the cycle. Stop the tension and abuse now.

Should you wish to smugly state what you want and how it’s actually better than what others want and that you can’t possibly understand why they want what they do…. SHUT UP. Just don’t. How other people live their life is none of your fucking business. Unless it is literally child abuse keep your smug shit to yourself. Make a police report if it’s an issue not a FB post.
Love and kisses
Robin Elizabeth

Book Club ABC Season 11, Episode 6: #BookclubABC

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Buckle up mofos we’re in for an existential ride. Gone are the traditional author and journalist guests, we’ve got a director and an artist. It’s probably going to get weird. I saw this recorded so prepare for some extra tidbits that didn’t make the cut.

JByrne introduces guest noted feminist director Jane Allen. JAllen has chosen the classic text, but before she may speaketh its name we must listen to Simon and Garfunkel, I like Simon and Garfunkel but this is not my fav. It is the theme song for Watership Down. JAllen is then allowed to say that she has chosen Watership Down as the classic.

JByrne moves on to introduce artist Ben Quilty. He has won lots of awards for artery so he’s kind of a big deal. She says that Quilty is their fav…. WTF! What about Michael Williams? What about Toni Jordan? WHAT ABOUT VIRGINIA GAY? What is happening? I just don’t even know how to think or feel anymore. Yes I do, unjustifiably bitter. Look at him sitting in his Led Zeppelin T, like he’s so cool. Pffft.

 

Time to talk about new releases. Anna Spargo Ryan’s The Gulf has been released into the wild, its cover is delicious. Inga Simpson also has a new book out. Hooray. It’s called UNDERSTORY: a life with trees. You need to check out these two titles. They have the two of the most beautiful covers that these eyeballs have ever seen.

 

This has JByrne thinking about trees. She says they’re having ‘a moment.’ There was The Hidden Life of Trees and like heaps of other stuff for realz. She asks Ace why there are so many books about trees at the moment. As the Literature overlord of Fairfax he knows all about literary buso and will surely know what the G O is. He says it’s because books are like metaphysical cannibals having trees destroyed to make them and then writing about the corpses that brought them to life. That’s dark. Could someone please give Ace a cuddle? I volunteer as tribute. He then suggests it’s a fascinating topic and people want to know how they communicate. Marieke quite rightly points out that anybody who has read the Enchanted Woods knows, they say wishawishawisha.

 

And now it’s time to move onto the modern text, Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann. It details the attempted genocide of the Osage Indian nation. The reason they were hated enough to be wiped out? They got rich because the land they lived on contained oil. It looks at the FBI investigation into the murders and uncovers that the horrors were far worse than were depicted at the time. JByrne says that the book has been touted to answer, who was killing the Osage? She suggests a better question would be, who wasn’t? Quilty says it was pretty full on. Bit of genocide = fully full on!

 

JByrne laments that this really wasn’t that long ago. People had cars and telephones, this isn’t ancient history. She wants to know why this story hasn’t been told before. Why didn’t people care enough earlier? Ace suggests that because they are such a marginalised group that they weren’t heard, they couldn’t speak out. He says that this was a brilliant piece of investigative journalism and that now the story is out and people will care.

 

JByrne goes to read a quote about just how powerful this book is, fades off as she is overcome with emotion…. Or she remembers that she is not wearing her glasses.

 

JAllen says it was a compelling story but not a great narrative because the scope was too broad for the structure the book used. Fizzzzz. Passion killed. There were times when there was just too much research dumped without getting a sense of the emotions. She also wanted to know more about the Osage and how they felt and reacted.

 

Marieke has her back, she says that it was a dry telling of an emotional story. Jane puts her director’s hat on and says it would make a brilliant TV series. She would restructure the bajeebers out of it. She’d start with the ending, where it had a narrow focus and a strong emotional core and work her way back. I love someone bringing their different area of expertise and perspective to reading the book. How refreshing. Marieke would watch that show, because the book was a bit like the Excel spreadsheet telling of the story. Woah, back up there. Who doesn’t love a bit of data entry?

 

Quilty says that the distance was necessary because the author was not part of the Osage community. He cannot speak for them, he can simply report. He points out that all those horrific details are there and that it is the reader’s responsibility to bring the emotion to it. Just like when you’re viewing art, you need to bring your own heart into viewing it. I’m liking hearing his artist viewpoint on reading a book. But more than that…. His voice. There is something quite magnificent about his voice. He sounds like Eric Bana.

 

JByrne raises the horrific point that there were white men marrying Osage women, having children with them, and killing off the rest of their family so that they could get control of the money. They were so driven by money that they would marry someone just to murder their families and it wasn’t just one man, it was several. And now everybody is talking. They’re arguing. I can’t understand what is being said. Somebody hold me. Surely we all agree that is horrific?

 

Time to pull out the big guns. Cultural appropriation. JByrne lays down the gauntlet and asks if people had issues with David Grann writing about the Osage nation. Everyone is cool beans about it. (Nobody mention that the panelists are all white) They say he obviously spoke with them, there’s even comments from representatives in the book, and he was very respectful about it. He more reported on these horrific events then tried to speak for the Osage. JAllen points out that this extensive piece of investigative journalism will bring a flood of interest and allow Osage writers to come forward and tell their story from their perspective. She for one is now craving a story from their perspective and hopefully this new interest will make publishers see this as financially viable and these stories will get picked up.

 

And now it’s time for By the Bed

 

JAllen says she’s a space nerd and reading Packing for Mars.

 

Ace is reading Collected Stories of George Stalter. Okay, I made up the name I didn’t quite catch it.  JAMES SALTER! The author is James Salter.

 

Quilter is reading Cooper’s Creek…. He sounds so much like Eric Bana. I’m just closing my eyes and imagining that Eric Bana is telling me about what is by his bed. Oh my goodness. What is happening? My nickers have literally caught fire.

 

Marieke says she’s a death nerd and is reading Sex & Death.

 

JByrne is reading When Breath Becomes Air.

 

It’s time for the classic that much loved children’s novel, Watership Down. JAllen is charged with introducing it as she chose it. She tells us that characters die. She goes on to say that Charlotte dies in Charlotte’s Web, Bambi’s mother dies, characters die all the time, and that’s life. She said she chose it because she had such fond memories of it as a child.

 

She does note that it is a bit problematic in that all the characters with agency are male, it was a bit racist, but that passed her by as a child. On her recent rereading it was glaringly obvious. She notes that this is a symptom of the patriarchy that female children are trained to just accept that everyone having adventures are male and women are off making cakes and having babies. And that is the standard that we are supposed to accept. She says this book and its nod to totalitarianism is still relevant because of Trump.

 

Time for Ace to tell us how he really feels about Watership Down. He says he was bored shirtless, I mean shitless. He was not the target audience. He really didn’t enjoy it at all until the depot baddies arrived. As a consolation he offers that he quite liked the way nature was written about and gives JAllen an apology carrot. That is not some crazy euphemism, he gives her a literal carrot. And he brings enough for the whole class. Awwwwwww.

 

Marieke says she was first introduced to Watership Down by the Goodies paradoy, she quite liked that, and she liked this too. She says she’s a friend to the animals and liked the talking rabbits. Apparently talking rabbits are okay, but last week she could have done without the talking dog in Jean Harley was Here.

 

JByrne loses it. She just starts laughing. She says she thought that these self-important rabbits having deep conversations were ridiculous. They’re rabbits, they don’t have deep and meaningfuls. Marieke disagrees.

 

Quilty felt that the book was indeed a bit berserk but he still liked it. He is a bit disturbed that Richard Adams wrote the book for his two daughters and the lady rabbits are pretty much kidnapped to become breeding slaves, but suggests we put that aside for the moment. LET’S NOT PUT THAT ASIDE!

 

JByrne just wanted to get those rabbits and put them in a pie. Ace wanted them with gnocchi, I feel like they aren’t vegetarians.

 

Marieke did find reading this book slightly scarring reading it so close to The Handmaid’s Tale. Given that both have breeding slaves, and reading about them not just being glossed over in The Handmaid’s Tale, brought a whole new level of emotion to Watership Down. English teacher’s there’s a perfect pairing for you. No more dystopian and dystopian, do dystopian and children’s.

 

Quilty says that it is a beautiful story for children… except for there are no speaking females. Hmmmm, maybe we should interrogate that?

 

JByrne asserts that the book is ridiculous and that the only good talking animal books are talking horse books. All other animals speaking are just silly, obvi.

 

Holy crapola! Get hold of your drinks!! There’s a quiz!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. You know what The Book Club ABC Drinking Game compels you to do (responsibly and only if you’re over 18 and have no medical issues and aren’t operating a vehicle or heavy machinery etc).

 

Spoiler alert, Marieke’s team does not win. Make sure you watch it on iView or iTunes so that you can experience the full glory of Marieke being forced to be part of a quiz. Words, even my own, simply cannot do it justice.

 

And that’s a wrap. Next week is a star studded panel with Marieke and Ace being boned in favour of all Sydney Writers’ Festival (why yes I am a volunteer, how can I help?) guests. They will be discussing books that changed their life. In the meantime, listen to Ben Quilty’s magical voice on YouTube and think of Eric Banner. I know I will be.

 

Catch up on last week’s recap here.

 

Grab the drinking game here.

 

Watch past episodes on here.

 

Buy my shit here.

Just quietly, why not step out into sunny Sydney tomorrow and partake in The Sydney Writers’ Festival.  At Science House there are fantastic workshops being run by CS Pacat and Kerrie Davis, Niki Savva is speaking at the Roslyn Packet Theatre, Anne Enright will be at the City Recital Hall and Anita Heiss will be kicking off literacy with Justine Clarke on the Curiosity Stage, plus so many more great events throughout the day and rest of the week. Hope to see you all there.

Book Club ABC Season 11, Episode 5: #BookclubABC

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It’s here again, the highlight of our week, The Book Club ABC. Look at Marieke sitting there like a ray of sunshine in yellow. Ace is also looking beautiful as is JBryne. Guests chef Adam Liaw and author Di Morrissey are introduced. Di Morrissey looks divine. She is dressed exactly as I imagine her to be. Soft pink floral coat, hair swept up with a pink flower, pearls, soft pink shimmering lipstick. Divine. I am very happy to be here right now.

 

Di introduces the classic, it’s The Group by Mary McCarthy. It’s sexy, emotional and fun. And the modern is Jean Harley Was Here by Heather Taylor Johnson. It’s about death, grief, and how you go on after someone you love is senselessly ripped from your life. I’m not crying, I just have allergies.

 

In literary news Fiona McFarlane is a genius. We all already knew that but finally it has been recorded. She won the Dylan Thomas Prize for her short story collection The High Place. Find her other stuff here.
Australian women writers are RED HOT at the moment. Slapping down high quality books all over the place. Check out Robin de Crespigny debut, People Smugglers and Susan Carland’s Fighting Hislam. Keep an eye out for The Dark Lake by Sarah Bailey and Scorched Earth by Sue Rosen, both coming out on the 24th.

 

And now it is time for the dramatic recreation of Jean Harley Was Here. She’s a mum, someone opens a car door whilst she’s riding her bike, she swerves, another car hits her, and she is dead. How will people cope? Still not crying, you’re the one crying. Just because I’m a mum with three kids does not mean that I am currently sobbing uncontrollably on the ground in the foetal position at the mere mention of the premise. I’m totally okay…. I am not okay. Call my therapist.

 

Ace declares Jean Harley Was Here charming. JByrne seconds it, can we get the motion carried? No, no we cannot. Di Morrissey does not carry that motion. She felt that there were too many snippets from too many perspectives so she could never really get to the heart of the matter. She names the dog chapter as being particularly deserving of hitting the editing room floor. Marieke agrees that she could have dealt without the dog chapter. JByrne is stunned. She felt that if Marieke had died she would definitely want animals to be writing about her.

 

Marieke says that she finds the book difficult to critique because she admires the premise so much. She says that Heather Taylor Johnson wrote this book after one of her friends had been unexpectedly taken from them. That this was a cathartic exploration of how you cope when you lose someone that you love. Not crying, I’m not crying. However, she did not love the execution of it.

 

Adam loved it. He said it was so faithful to South Australia that he knew exactly where everything was and the description was perfect. He says that if you’re looking for things not to like, you’ll find them, but if you’re just reading it as a reader looking to be swept away in a story, then you’ll love it. I do love getting different perspectives on book. So true, if you look at something trying to find fault you will ALWAYS find it. Always. Adam talks about how the book is about the ripples of effect out from the victim. His hand movements are hypnotic and I can’t help but visualise a karesansui.

 

Marieke didn’t like the way the death seemed so sudden and glossed over. JByrne loved that. She says death can be sudden and senseless. One moment you’re there, the next minute you’re next. Keep it together, must not cry, must not cry.

 

Marieke couldn’t help but imagine who the author identified with in this novel. Adam found it more interesting to think of who he was in the novel. At first he thought about being the grieving husband, and then he realised that he could be Jean. He could be the dead parent. Just quietly, I can imagine this book being written about me. Howling chapter of raging grief from my daughter, confused chapters from my three year old twin boys who can only comprehend mummy gone but not why, my besties Helen and Lisa staring at my empty seat, and then a sentence from my husband, ‘These things happen, just crack on.’

 

JByrne says that the book is extremely well written. Marieke calls bullshit and has a quote to challenge.

 

Adam says that all of the characters were lovely and he really liked that. Marieke points out that the MIL was no picnic. Di felt that they were merely sketches of characters rather than fully alive. Cut some, flesh them out. Marieke reiterates that she did not like the book but she admired it immensely.

 

Now excuse me whilst I go wash my face and attempt to stop sobbing uncontrollably.

 

It’s time for By the Bed! Hooray.

 

Di is reading The Mysterious Mr Jacob.

 

Ace is reading Enemy Within by Don Watson.

 

Adam is reading a cookbook, Aquacotta.

 

JByrne is reading A Separation.

 

And now it’s time for some group action. What I did there, you see it. JByrne says that The Group was banned in Australia and her mother was sneakily loaning out her copy to other women. Apparently it has a red hot sex scene. Must have been like Fifty Shades for women in the 60s. Why wasn’t Fifty Shades banned?

 

Di mentions that The Group was written in the 60s and set in the 30s and yet it is still frightfully relevant. Women are still struggling with being taken seriously. Women are still struggling to find support when they are mothers. Mother in laws are still mother in laws. Can we take a moment to address that if you are a cunt of a mother in law you are virulently anti-feminist? No? You don’t want to come on that journey and you’d prefer to just read about the show? Fair enough.

 

Marieke loved it. It has mental illness, emotional abuse, rape, oppression. It essentially has women being kicked in the vagina by life in every possible way, because societal expectations and the patriarchy are the worst.

 

JByrne points out that Sex and the City was a tribute to The Group. Candace Bushnell wanted to do her own modern version.

Adam felt that The Group was good but had too many lead characters. Cutting it back from eight to four would work better. Snaps to Candice, she went with four for her update. He says the book wasn’t his cup of tea and yet he still enjoyed it.

 

Ace said that the first time he read The Group he thought about the female characters but on the second he thought about the male characters. And here it comes, we’re talking about sex. I knew Ace couldn’t hold off. Apparently there’s a whole sex chapter. The word ‘deflowering’ is mentioned repeatedly at this point. I little bit of vom rushes towards my teeth. Nothing that a splash of moscatto won’t fix. Hot tip from Adam: Don’t listen to that chapter in the car when you’re children are in the back. Can we please Crowdfund some therapy for Adam’s children?

 

ACE SAYS THAT HE FOUND THE SEX SCENE A BIT MUCH! Somebody hold me. I am so confused. Ace didn’t like the sexy bit? What is going on? He’s all about the sex. I feel lost and vulnerable. I need to hit that moscatto again.

 

Di points out that the book was put down as silly and trivial as it deals with silly things like relationships. The same thing is still happening now. A spy who has greater skills than are plausible is considered a rollicking good read, but books about women, and yearning, and birth control, and finding your way are silly and trivial. DOWN WITH LITERARY SNOBBISM! Apparently this backlash ruined the author’s life. It was a best seller yet the critics savaged her into trauma. Arseholes.

 

Marieke says that The Group is a feminist book. It is about women having each other’s backs no matter what. Adam recommends that every feminist reads it. My eye twitches slightly as I remember his #notallmen reaction to the Stella shortlisted An Isolated Incident, which was an incredible exploration of societal reactions to domestic violence. Moving on.

 

JByrne says that all the characters lose in the end, which is a bit depressing but somewhat reflective of the female existence within the patriarchy. Ace says that Lakey wins. Marieke suggests that Polly kind of wins too. It’s complicated.

 

Ace says that he kept thinking of Katharine Hepburn whilst reading. Much like I often think of Ace when reading books with good looking English men in them.

 

Di says she would love to see it as a mini-series. I love 1930s clothes and I enjoyed Sex and the City so I am so on board for this. Make it happen Di.

 

JByrne mentions that The Group has a place in popular fiction and even Betty Draper was reading it in Mad Men. I really want to read this book it sounds lovely.

 

And now a time for a montage about books about friends. Is that two montages this seas. Two montages this season and they’re cut back to eight episodes. Am I going to have to chain myself to the TARDIS at the ABC Centre soon? I’m keeping a close eye on you, Michelle Guthrie.

 

Next week they’re talking about talking rabbits. Will Marieke like the talking rabbits better than the thinking dog? We’ll have to watch next week to find out.

 

 

Catch up on last week’s recap here.

 

Grab the drinking game here.

 

Watch past episodes on here.

 

Buy my shit here.

Read an extract of Jean Harley Was Here here

See Di Morrissey at The Sydney Writers’ Festival (why yes I am a volunteer, how can I help) here.
Until next week enjoy my “friendship montage”: