Zomies (March 21- April 19)
Only a mere few weeks until Armageddon! What will you do? The Doctor does not seem to be calling on you. In fact you haven’t caught sight of him for ages. Time to take matters into your own hands. Solve the Mayan prophecy and save us all.
Chelomiaus (April 20- May 20)
You’re feeling totally cleansed this month. Like a burden has been lifted from your bowels. Don’t get too cocky. Now is not the time to mix fish fingers and custard
Florani (May 21- June 20)
You’re having issues with timing this month. Everything seems to be happening around you, some stuff you’re early for but some stuff you’re late for. Only one solution. Live online.
Kletchoner (June 21- Jul 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant dalek will jump out of a Christmas tree and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on https://www.facebook.com/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet?ref=hl#!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month.
Apalapuciao (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Your confusion over evolution continues this month. Where did we really come from, who are we, and who are you? You begin sculpting TARDISes in mashed potato in the hope of attracting a passing Timelord.
Biblioso (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Christmas approaches. Money does not. Don’t worry; try your hand at handy crafts. Make some Daleks out of old toilet rolls, a TARDIS out of an old shoe box. People will love your Who wares.
Althracra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are missing fresh Who big time. You crave action and adventure. You crave stimulation… but not from real life, ewww you it might make you sweat. Grossies! You read the Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) ah, that hit the right spot.
Laborio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? The Doctor! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do!
Persisius (Nov 22- Dec21)
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over a candle stick. Why? To get to the hottie on the other side. Perhaps it’s time you released your inner Captain Jack.
Mechunuscorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Stock up on sausages. Trust me, it’s the new Christmas it food. You’re in serious danger of not being considered cool this holiday season so make sure you get lots and a good variety too.
Matravius (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.
Gallifres (Feb 19- March 20)
You watch last year’s Christmas special and makes you crave a simpler time of traditions. You look up good recipes for Christmas goose and traditional fare. Enjoy. Embrace the complexity of simplicity.