Tag Archives: trolls

Stop Troll Shaming!



You read the title!  STOP IT!! As a Spec Fic fan and writer I feel honour bound to stop all this troll shaming that has spread across our society like some sort of oozing pandemic. Every time a human is a bit of a wanker or a complete bastard they gets called a troll. Well, that’s just not cricket. And to be quite frank, it’s a damn elf conspiracy. Yup, elves. What a bunch of troll hating bastards.  “Oh but they’re so magical and beautiful,  they wouldn’t do such a thing.” To that I say “Pfffft.” There are many different kinds of trolls and they provide a valuable service to society but the elves don’t want you to know that. No, they’ve blackened the name of the noble troll so much that now the race of man thinks the word troll is synonymous with evil. So please, let me enlighten you about trollkind so that we may all have a better understanding of them and from that hopefully the gap between us can be “bridged.” I shall tell you about the most common types:

Bridge Trolls


Very important guardians that provide a barrier between us and magical stuff that would make our heads explode. There is some stuff that the human mind isn’t complex enough to deal with, these guys put themselves on the line daily, miles from loved ones, just to keep us safe. They got a bad rep because they ate some goats. Well guess what, they’re not the only ones who eat goat. I’ve heard that with some lemon they’re quite delicious. And imagine if you were stuck on your own for months at a time eating only from ration packs… a bit of fresh meat trotting past…

Cave Trolls


Well we need caves right? Who do you think makes them? Cave trolls. In fact, before dwarves busted in on their territory, cave trolls used to do all the mining. Dwarves actually just use sites already dug out by cave trolls. You’ve got to watch those dwarves,  they’ll steal your lunch and your land before you know it.

Good Luck Trolls


Rub these guys on the head and they’ll bring you good luck. Fairies don’t like these groovy little dudes because they can basically do everything a fairy does but without giving everyone around them craft herpes. And trust me, there is such a thing as too much glitter.

Cyber Trolls

They are not bored teenagers or middle aged men dissatisfied with their lives, they’re actually very similar to bridge trolls. They guard the information highway to prevent us mere mortals stumbling upon cyber magics and secrets that would literally blow our mind. They’re the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. My mailer daemon, Brampton, introduced me to some cyber trolls a few weeks back and all they did was look up pics of goats and turn around lost searches. And for no thanks. The cyber elves want us to hate the trolls because they want us to access forbidden content. They want us gone. The elves see us as a plague to be eradicated.

Please don’t believe the rhetoric. You know what happens if you let the glitterrazzo get hold of mythological creatures, sparkling vampires. Trolls are our friends,  not our foes, so please no more troll shaming.

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: would you like fries with that



Ah “trolls” the gift that keeps on giving. I feel the need to use quotation marks for “trolls” to differentiate them from actual trolls who I have already said provide valuable bridge guarding services. Honestly how trolls had their reputation so maligned that they’ve gone from being loner types who guard bridges and enjoy snacking on goat loins to being a bunch of people who actively seek you out and just keep on hounding you is beyond me. Yet again I apologise to the noble troll for my use of the word “troll.” I sincerely hope society comes up with a better word soon so that you can guard your bridges in peace.

Now back to more lessons I have learned from my encounter with “trolls.” Yesterday as I walked my angels around the park I saw a woman sitting innocently eating some hot chips. Sure enough it wasn’t long before a gang of seagulls started heavying her for some of those salty sticks of goodness. First a few squawked their beaks off and then they were joined by more until the poor woman was being practically deafened. Soon after things turned ugly. The seagulls were no longer happy to sit back and cat call so launched an offensive. They wanted those tasty chips, they needed those chips. The woman soon packed up her stuff and moved somewhere else. The same thing happened. So she moved again but dumped a few chips first. The seagulls ate the chips then set chase. This continued until the woman finally left the park. It didn’t matter how many chips she gave them, it didn’t matter how many times she moved tge seagulls kept coming until she was out of the park. Seagulls just like chips. Who can blame them? Chips are delicious. Same with “trolls” or should I say “cyber seagulls.” Once they see a delicious hot morsel they must have it. It isn’t the chip’s fault that it is delicious. The chip hasn’t done anything wrong by being delicious. It simply is a delicious thing. Just like it isn’t a “cyber chip’s” fault that the “cyber seagull” seeks to devour it. Seagulls are loud aggressive things that eat chips for breakfast.

“Cyber seagulls” like real seagulls have very little capacity to respect boundaries. If you block them they will simply try to get your attention through friends’ acounts or follow you to a different platform. You see the “cyber seagull” has some deep issues. They believe that not only are they important in their own world but they must be important in yours. So when you block these self important folk they go completely troppo. I still recommend blocking them despite the fact that they will go feral on your A, it’s just that you may need to do so repeatedly to several accounts and across multiple platforms. Because the “cyber seagull” will hound you for quite some time just like the real deal. You are a tasty chip and they must eat you. For some reason they need perfect strangers to put up with their issues. The idea that someone that they have never met cuts them out of their life really bothers them. Yes it’s sad for them to live like that but it isn’t our responsibility to put up with it thinking we’re helping. It is their responsibility to stop, think about their priorities, then seek help. Being a cyber punching bag for someone does not help them and it destroys you. We need to construct our lives and our cyber lives so that it brings us as much joy and strength as possible. If we have seagulls in our life draining our energy then we need to remove them otherwise they will keep deafening us with the wail of their own needs and totally consume our own. There are trained professionals who are strong enough to withstand the noise, those with sensitive hearing don’t need to feel responsibility to do so. Simply put on your earmuffs and move on.

… Now there’s an image, a hot chip strutting around with earmuffs on whilst seagulls scream nearby. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you’re being “trolled” it’s probably because you’re awesome. You’ve brought attention to yourself by being funny, or sweet, or wise and these people just can’t stand for others to have that attention so they descend. So don’t feel bad that you’re being attacked, you’re amazing, you’re a hot chip.

I’m still battling my depression and anxiety everyday and I hope this posts helps one of my fellow soldiers. I’m not sure how long I’ll be on this journey for but I will keep you updated on my progress with more Confessions of a Mad Mooer, in particular how the death of Maya Angelou has got me thinking.

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: the Charlotte Dawson effect



As I sit sipping my morning cup of tea I appear every bit “normal” and relaxed. Nobody would know the turmoil I felt yesterday and to be honest I’m always so quick with a joke that most people wouldn’t have known how upset I was at the time. But unfortunately I had a Charlotte Dawson moment, nowhere near as thrilling as my Oprah moment I can tell you. So today I’m going to ramble about cyber trolls and why it is so hard for those of us with depression to move on. I don’t want people to get upset and complain about me “troll shaming” because I’m not. I love Good Luck Trolls, I understand the value of them guarding forbidden bridges and I agree that goat can be quite delicious. And I’m sure cyber trolls are actually really upset about humans being called trolls as they probably actually guard super secret electronic highways. So perhaps I shouldn’t further defame the noble troll and actually refer to these people as what they are… nasty pasties? Bitches? Shrivelled up bitter souls with nothing better to do than tear others down? Dickheads? Whatever the name, I’m blogging about them.

After Charlotte Dawson committed suicide there was a huge outcry from, “stupid bitch should have ignored them,” to, “those bullies have blood on their hands.” It of course can’t be that simple. At least in my expert (Note: I am an expert of nothing at all) opinion it can’t be that simple. My own experiences over the last few days have really helped open my eyes. Sure I’ve been cyber spanked previously but I wasn’t confident enough in myself to be able to step back and think about it. Thankfully after my time in the Mothers and Babies Unit I am now able to be much more reflective and deal with these circumstances.

I like many modern mothers am part of an online parenting group. Generally we share cute stories and pics and ask for advice. As is true of all social interactions you click with some and you clash with others. As always I naturally find myself migrating towards the misfits, the clowns, the geeks, the beautifully flawed. We recognise a kindred weirdo and we wave and play happily. There really are few greater joys than finding a fellow bizarro. Freaks and geeks unite. Us dorks tend to band together and don’t really like to be told what to do or stand for other people being put down. We’ve been shunned our whole life and know how it feels to be on the outside. But being that we are a bit different our defence of other vulnerable people is also different. When people start getting tense and telling people what products they MUST use or how they MUST use products or what they MUST feed their children or any other MUST I tend to crack a joke to lighten the mood. For most people it works. My fellow clowns are attracted to the humour like a moth to a flame and soon we’re all having a good giggle the crisis is averted. Unfortunately that doesn’t always work. Sure the merry band of misfits let out a collective sigh of relief and most other people think, thank goodness for the distraction, but unfortunately this levity only serves to highlight the darkness in some people’s soul. They want control, they crave control, I am chaos, I can’t be controlled. So what do they do, they lash out, they twist the joke, they pretend it is a personal attack, they raise an army of followers and have them make specific, directed, attacks. So random joke about random things gets met with specific, personal attack. Not exactly a fair reaction. Unfortunately when you’re depressed any attack, no matter how unfounded, turns your stomach. Anxiety starts to get out of control and your urge to smooth things over becomes overwhelming. So what do I do, try to make more jokes, try to make people smile. Further illuminating the gaping chasm these angry people have in their soul, which results in more nasty, personal attacks. I continue to make random jokes about things, not people (unless said people are my fellow misfits and they love it) yet they continue to escalate with vitriol. With Charlotte Dawson her tactic seemed to be to try to build awareness and educate. Her attempts similarly only reflected the darkness within the attackers. It didn’t change them, it made the people angrier because they had it in their mind that they must have power and they must have control. Charlotte and I have wasted our time. I can see that now. Some people are so hell bent on proving their self worth to themselves that they have no time for anything different. They will lash out and tear down those who are silly enough to attempt to use any coping methods like humour or education. They need to fuel their own needs by destroying all others. Yes, they’re tragic, yes they need help. But only they can do that, only they can change themselves. Trying to smooth things over, trying to enlighten them just gives them fodder. They need help but it is their responsibility to seek it, not ours.

So what have I learned from this? That I am no more capable of not trying to make people smile with humour then Charlotte Dawson was of trying not to educate others. That I am still vulnerable and the attacks make me feel sick. That it doesn’t matter that I know that I’m a good person and that my friends do, I’m still able to be shaken.

So what have I done? I’ve blocked that group of people. I got what I needed from them, this lesson about the Charlotte Dawson effect, and I have moved on. I know I can’t stop trying to make people happy by making jokes and I know that joy pains them because it means that they start losing that control that they are white knuckling, so the solution is simple, no contact.

Has it worked? Pretty much. Sure the people involved are still “naming and shaming” me publicly. I apparently have a whole post dedicated to my clownish ways, what an honour, but I don’t have to see it. I also don’t have to see them attack others but more importantly it gives me the freedom to be me. I can joke and have fun, I can comment freely and be myself and not have to censor myself because the people who will try to twist it can’t see it and I can’t see them hurting me by trying to turn me bringing laughter and joy to others into a hideous sin. It has quite simply given me the freedom to be me.

My hot tip: I say construct your reality  in a way that strengthens you. Keep those who feed you positive energy close. Remove those who try to make your soul as black as their’s. Don’t change who you are. You are the best you that you can be. Don’t give your energy away to bad situations. Be you! Be you in all your glory. Let people love you for who you are and don’t lessen yourself for fear of others. As the old saying goes, you could be the juiciest peach in the world but there will still be people out there who hate peaches. The peach is fine, the peach is perfect, there is nothing wrong with the peach, the peach doesn’t have to change and the peach doesn’t have to change people’s minds to think it is delicious.

Be the peach.

I’m still journeying through depression and I will keep you posted with more Confessions of a Mad Mooer.

Any women who suffer from any form of depression or anxiety are welcome to join my own FB group which is pro mystical troll but doesn’t allow any nasty trolling.