Constance Hall: #Robinpedia

Constance Hall is an Australian social media personality, blogger, writer, musician, supporter of Rafiki Mwema, and Queen. Her writing style is known for being direct and getting to the heart of the matter.

Constance Hall’s debut novel, Like a Queen, came out in 2016. It is about motherhood, being a woman, losing it, friends, and family. Readers have responded well to Like a Queen because unlike other books of this nature, it doesn’t make them want to strive to be different and “better,” but makes them feel happy with who they are. Constance’s message is all about self acceptance and loving yourself without the need for a polish.

In March of 2016 Constance shared a post about a Kenyan-based charity, which runs therapeutic homes for sexually abused children, called Rafiki Mwema. Constance Hall’s followers, known as Queens 👸, were hugely interested. Constance set up a crowdfunding campaign. The target was $75,000, and it was reached in three hours. $200,000 was raised in just two days. On top of this, Constance donated $20,000 from the presales of her book Like a Queen.

Constance Hall’s popularity exploded on the 5th of January in 2016 after a Facebook post about having “parent sex.” It wasn’t sexy or lewd, it was rushed and done. In short, it was real. It struck a chord with the world, including celebrities such as Ashton Kutcher. Proving that we’ve all been there, even Ashton. Her fan base has continued to grow steadily as more raw and real Facebook posts come out.

Find Constance Hall’s website here.

Find Constance Hall on Facebook here.

Sponsor Rafiki Mwema here.

If you have more information that you would like added about this writer please write it in the comment section.

Learn more about Robinpedia here.

Side note: I wrote this Robinpedia entry after my daughter was up until 1:30am, briefly woke at 3am to demand hugs, then her and one of the twins decided that 5:30am was up time and they were having a dance party no matter what. I can’t stop the music, nobody can stop the music. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate writer to get a Robinpedia entry under these circumstances. Because I know Queen Constance would fucking understand.

You Don’t Have to be a Millionaire to Support Authors

Not long ago I blogged about how Walter Mason inspired the spirit of fandom in me. For those of you not familiar with Walter Mason, he’s probably the most charismatic person in the Australian book industry. And let’s be honest, there’s lots of competition, so this means he’s pretty spectacular. Today I’d like to speak about the spirit of fandom a little bit more and how that actually helps authors.

We always hear “buy books, if you truly want to support authors than just buy their damn BOOK! For god’s sake open that wallet, they need to pay rent!!!” Which is fair enough, buying books directly funds authors. It’s even better if you do it through your local bookshop, but  we don’t all have the money to buy books everyday. Fortunately, for those of us that want to love more than our budget allows, that doesn’t mean you can’t support an author every single day if you should want too. There are lots of ways you can help out authors you love that don’t cost an arm and a leg. 
When people love a movie they sometimes pay to see it many times but many simply can’t afford that but they still help out by providing much needed enthusiasm through raving to friends, tweeting, making fan art, blogging and generally being fanatical. We can do the same thing for books. Let’s bring the spirit of fandom to the book industry.

Read and interact with an author’s blog. Most authors have a blog. Commenting on their blog and letting them know that you like what they’re on about helps provide a moral boost and let’s them know what their readers do and don’t like. Writing can be very solitary and knowing there are people out there loving your work helps. If you are a blogger write your own blog entry about how a book or author has inspired or moved you. Shout out your appreciation loud and clear, let your enthusiasm become contagious. Write a review.

Rave to your friends about your favourite authors. I’m far more likely to read a book recommended by a friend than by looking at an advert. They’re my friends so I respect their opinion. I started reading Kate Forsyth books after a friend loaned me a copy of Dragon Claw. I have now gone on to buy myself, and friends, over 30 copies of her books. One loan resulted in mutiple purchases. And the books of hers that I have gifted to friends have resulted in even more readers. So never feel like you’re cheating an author by loaning their book out, you could be getting them a loyal reader.

Connect with authors on twitter. Who doesn’t love a compliment? Who doesn’t work better with a little enthusiasm to warm their soul. Knowing that your writing has touched someone has power. Last night I received a tweet from Michael Williams, a person that I respect and admire very much, and it meant just as much to me as a book sale. No it doesn’t pay the rent but it does help keep the depression at bay and depression is a mind killer so it’s just as vital.

Follow authors and interact with them on any of their social media platforms. Most authors aren’t guaranteed their next book will be published. If they have a strong fan base they seem like a safer bet to publishers. If publishers can already see that people love their work and connect with what they write then that’s a big vote of confidence. Show your confidence in your favourite authors by doing so publicly if you dare.

How about some fan art. Show what those words look like in your mind. Show just how much books have touched you by inspiring you to create your own art. Not an artist? Me neither. I like to create memes instead. I spend far too much time on imgflip. But I just love putting beautiful words on beautiful pictures and sharing my love. Feel free to give it a go. It’s easy and fun.

Attend author workshops. Many authors earn most of their income through teaching. So attend their events if you have the means.

And of course, yes, buy their books when you can. (Note: there are a few authors who only appreciate this method of support so will probably feel bombarded by the above suggestions, so don’t do those to them, but most appreciate some enthusiasm.)

You certainly don’t have to support an author every day, but you can if you want too without going into poverty. What are some of the different ways that you like to show support?

Edit: I’ve started using #auslitlove on my tweets that are about loving Australian authors so that I can keep track of who I’m loving and make sure I spread the love around far and wide.

Woman Screams at Stranger’s Baby; Social Media Applauded

Title says it all but just in case you’re not familiar with the case I’ll give you a quick summary:

2 yr old cries at diner
Less than 5 minutes later owner comes out and screams in baby’s face to shut up
Owner stands by actions
People on social media applaud and claim that’s good discipline and what the parents should have done
Owner changes story to say it was 45 minutes of screaming and she warned the parents repeatedly and screamed across the counter at the baby
Parents and most people at the diner say NOPE first story is correct
Social media still praises owner for screaming at baby

So, there you have it. Here’s the issue that is really grinding my gears, the sheer quantity of people out there stating that screaming at kids should be done, and that it is necessary for proper discipline. I’d usually say something sarcastic here but I have now lost faith in a significant proportion of society and don’t believe that they would get the point,  so I’ll skip it and be direct. Screaming at another human being does not show that you are a powerful force for discipline ad good. Screaming at another human being means that either you are a child that has not learnt to manage your emotions and communicate more effectively in other ways than tantrums OR you are an adult who has not learned how to control your own actions OR you have lost control. So how is it that by losing control and screaming like a tantruming child, except bigger and stronger, that a baby or child could possibly learn self control and discipline in response? If adults cannot model good behaviour how can we expect children to pick it up? Monkey see, monkey do. Baby see, baby do.

I am not saying that I have never had a subpar parenting moment but I sure as shit haven’t patted myself on the back afterwards and said, “Good job for losing it.” I’ve sympathised with friends who have had similarly weak moments and said, “It’s hard, we’ll get there, they’ll get there, everybody makes mistakes.” I have not said, “Good job, scream at that little fucker some more. Screaming and throwing a tatrum is exactly how we should teach our kids. Good work, your meltdown will totally teach them not to throw tantrums.”

In other words I am utterly aghast at the moment. I am horrified that I live in this world where this kind of thing is praised and called good discipline. And futher to that, people can’t even seem to comprehend that there are any other methods for instilling good values and discipline in your kids other than screaming or hitting. It terrifies me because my lovely children,  who I get complimented on their lovely behaviour by strangers from, are growing into adulthood with people being taught that yelling and screaming is good, is necessary and is the best way to control others. I’m worried because these children indoctrinated with so much aggression are going to end up killing someone and I don’t want it to be my kid. And I don’t want it to be yours.

Please restore my faith in humanity.

How to Cause a Storm in a Suck Cup

 

 

Today on Facebook, Mia Freedman posted a picture of herself wearing some seriously enormous panties with the caption, “You know you’re not on holidays anymore when you’re wearing your fat-sucking undies.”

 

We’ve all been there.

Some decaying, vain, creature asked which brands worked best, okay it was me – please feel free to post suggestions in the comments, many complimented her on keeping it real, and then there were the sayers of nay. How dare this woman promote being happy with yourself yet wear gut suckers from time to time? How dare she be skinnier than some people and wear control tops? The nerve! Even comments about how she was supposed to be smart so should know better. Because a big beautiful brain, being slimmer than some other people, and possessing a belief that you should be kind to yourself apparently means that you are free from any kind of insecurity.

 

It really made me think. Mainly because prior to three kids I was a size 6, but now I’m a size 8. People probably look at me and think, skinny bitch, where as I look at myself and go, ‘Fuck I’m fat.’ Now I’m not an actress, or a model, I’m not paid squillions of dollars for my appearance, so I don’t have that burning, monetary/career motivation to get myself back into shape. I still want to, and yes, after three kids, I still can get back into shape. Admittedly the last two were twins born through emergency c-section so that does complicate matters, but they are a year old now so really, enough is enough when it comes to excuses. Three weeks after my daughter I was into all of my old clothes, including the skinny jeans, and three months later I had the ab definition back. Sure add some time for twins and some time for the big C rather than the big V, but let’s be honest, I’m ‘fat’ because of me at this point not the babies. (And yes it is a pet peeve of mine when people BLAME their children for weight gain, career loss, etc. Kids don’t need that kind of guilt thrust on them.) And yes, there are other people out there larger than me, but that doesn’t make me feel less fat, just as me being slimmer than them probably doesn’t make them feel any fatter or slimmer. Because our body image is to do with the messages we tell ourselves in our heads, not what other people drive down our throats.

 

So when I saw people tearing down Ms Freedman I was slightly appalled. She’s a journalist, sure a high profile one that does TV spots, but by and large she gets to hide behind her computer in yoga pants using her brain not her appearance to get her point across. Today she had to shoot a commercial, so today she wore some gut suckers. If I had to shoot a commercial I bet I’d be wearing gut suckers, thigh suckers, push up bra, a whole heap of makeup and enough hairspray to kill a small planet. None of these things do I wear on a daily basis but I would feel the need for a public appearance. Well I assume I would, I have never shot a commercial, or TV spot. And guess what, I’d admit to it too. Why? Because I’m real and it’d be honest to let people know that I’d put my best gut forward. So to Ms Freedman, I applaud you. Thanks for showing us that everyone has issues and everyone gussies themselves up. That those perfect images and as perfect as we think and that it’s okay to want to look your best. And that wanting to look your best doesn’t mean that you suddenly don’t want people to be happy with themselves, and that it doesn’t mean that you think everyone has to do it, that are emotions about ourselves run far deeper than our thoughts about others.

 

So I’m off to do some Yoga, and when I go out to lunch with my girlies on Saturday I shall wear my gut suckers with pride. And if my girlies wear them too, then fine, if they don’t, that’s fine too. Lipstick, sparkly shoes, push up bras, perfume, or absolutely nothing. I don’t care, wear what you want to wear to make you feel good!

Facebook Flower Fantasy

At the moment Facebook is having a little floral infusion to lift our spirits. Basically someone posts a pic of a flower captioned “My intention is to fill  up Facebook with flowers to break the saturation of negative images. If you Like my post, I will choose a flower for you.” and if you like it you get PMed this message “🌸 Find an image and post it to Facebook with the message: My intention is to fill  up Facebook with flowers to break the saturation of negative images. If you Like my post, I will choose a flower for you.The flower I give you is [insert flower type here].🌸” Essentially it’s chain mail, or Facebook herpes as I like to call it. Generally Facebook chain mail insists you pass on the message or you hate children/love Satan/will get cancer/your feet will drop off. I tend to ignore those ones because I don’t like people trying to control my behaviour through bullying. The flower chain I quite like. It’s pretty, it’s uplifting and it doesn’t threaten you if you don’t do it. So I’ll share some flowers I chose for friends and then I’m going to list some flowers for people from my past. People who I’ve lost contact with but remember fondly.

I gave the playful Viola to Cinta who introduced me to the flower game.

You didn't have to give the person a pic of a flower or meme it but I'm a bit addicted to Imgflip.com

Cinta did me the great honour of choosing the lotus for me.

I chose the bluebell for Lesley as she is like a little piece of magic to me.

For Miss Luci I chose the mindful Begonia.

For Chloe I chose the unique amaryllis.

For Caroline I chose the refreshing orange blossom.

For Ruthy I chose the zephyr,  a flower for the joy of anticipation.

For Mara who writes about angels I gave the angelica flower.

For Mary who epitomises survive and thrive, the marigold.

For Tommy, my very special teaching friend who taught me how to kick a ball properly and how to really enjoy a kebab I would choose the joyful apple blossom.

For Dougy who stood by me through my darkest hours I would give the flower of camaraderie,  the Geranium.

And for Maureen who was always so kind and generous and always thought the best of me, a true Queen in this world, I would give the Periwinkle. A flower that is all about the freedom to be yourself and how that freedom allows others to be free also. I have never felt as comfortable and as accepted as I did in your presence. Much love.

Hope these flowers brought you all some joy.

️

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: the Charlotte Dawson effect

As I sit sipping my morning cup of tea I appear every bit “normal” and relaxed. Nobody would know the turmoil I felt yesterday and to be honest I’m always so quick with a joke that most people wouldn’t have known how upset I was at the time. But unfortunately I had a Charlotte Dawson moment, nowhere near as thrilling as my Oprah moment I can tell you. So today I’m going to ramble about cyber trolls and why it is so hard for those of us with depression to move on. I don’t want people to get upset and complain about me “troll shaming” because I’m not. I love Good Luck Trolls, I understand the value of them guarding forbidden bridges and I agree that goat can be quite delicious. And I’m sure cyber trolls are actually really upset about humans being called trolls as they probably actually guard super secret electronic highways. So perhaps I shouldn’t further defame the noble troll and actually refer to these people as what they are… nasty pasties? Bitches? Shrivelled up bitter souls with nothing better to do than tear others down? Dickheads? Whatever the name, I’m blogging about them.

After Charlotte Dawson committed suicide there was a huge outcry from, “stupid bitch should have ignored them,” to, “those bullies have blood on their hands.” It of course can’t be that simple. At least in my expert (Note: I am an expert of nothing at all) opinion it can’t be that simple. My own experiences over the last few days have really helped open my eyes. Sure I’ve been cyber spanked previously but I wasn’t confident enough in myself to be able to step back and think about it. Thankfully after my time in the Mothers and Babies Unit I am now able to be much more reflective and deal with these circumstances.

I like many modern mothers am part of an online parenting group. Generally we share cute stories and pics and ask for advice. As is true of all social interactions you click with some and you clash with others. As always I naturally find myself migrating towards the misfits, the clowns, the geeks, the beautifully flawed. We recognise a kindred weirdo and we wave and play happily. There really are few greater joys than finding a fellow bizarro. Freaks and geeks unite. Us dorks tend to band together and don’t really like to be told what to do or stand for other people being put down. We’ve been shunned our whole life and know how it feels to be on the outside. But being that we are a bit different our defence of other vulnerable people is also different. When people start getting tense and telling people what products they MUST use or how they MUST use products or what they MUST feed their children or any other MUST I tend to crack a joke to lighten the mood. For most people it works. My fellow clowns are attracted to the humour like a moth to a flame and soon we’re all having a good giggle the crisis is averted. Unfortunately that doesn’t always work. Sure the merry band of misfits let out a collective sigh of relief and most other people think, thank goodness for the distraction, but unfortunately this levity only serves to highlight the darkness in some people’s soul. They want control, they crave control, I am chaos, I can’t be controlled. So what do they do, they lash out, they twist the joke, they pretend it is a personal attack, they raise an army of followers and have them make specific, directed, attacks. So random joke about random things gets met with specific, personal attack. Not exactly a fair reaction. Unfortunately when you’re depressed any attack, no matter how unfounded, turns your stomach. Anxiety starts to get out of control and your urge to smooth things over becomes overwhelming. So what do I do, try to make more jokes, try to make people smile. Further illuminating the gaping chasm these angry people have in their soul, which results in more nasty, personal attacks. I continue to make random jokes about things, not people (unless said people are my fellow misfits and they love it) yet they continue to escalate with vitriol. With Charlotte Dawson her tactic seemed to be to try to build awareness and educate. Her attempts similarly only reflected the darkness within the attackers. It didn’t change them, it made the people angrier because they had it in their mind that they must have power and they must have control. Charlotte and I have wasted our time. I can see that now. Some people are so hell bent on proving their self worth to themselves that they have no time for anything different. They will lash out and tear down those who are silly enough to attempt to use any coping methods like humour or education. They need to fuel their own needs by destroying all others. Yes, they’re tragic, yes they need help. But only they can do that, only they can change themselves. Trying to smooth things over, trying to enlighten them just gives them fodder. They need help but it is their responsibility to seek it, not ours.

So what have I learned from this? That I am no more capable of not trying to make people smile with humour then Charlotte Dawson was of trying not to educate others. That I am still vulnerable and the attacks make me feel sick. That it doesn’t matter that I know that I’m a good person and that my friends do, I’m still able to be shaken.

So what have I done? I’ve blocked that group of people. I got what I needed from them, this lesson about the Charlotte Dawson effect, and I have moved on. I know I can’t stop trying to make people happy by making jokes and I know that joy pains them because it means that they start losing that control that they are white knuckling, so the solution is simple, no contact.

Has it worked? Pretty much. Sure the people involved are still “naming and shaming” me publicly. I apparently have a whole post dedicated to my clownish ways, what an honour, but I don’t have to see it. I also don’t have to see them attack others but more importantly it gives me the freedom to be me. I can joke and have fun, I can comment freely and be myself and not have to censor myself because the people who will try to twist it can’t see it and I can’t see them hurting me by trying to turn me bringing laughter and joy to others into a hideous sin. It has quite simply given me the freedom to be me.

My hot tip: I say construct your reality  in a way that strengthens you. Keep those who feed you positive energy close. Remove those who try to make your soul as black as their’s. Don’t change who you are. You are the best you that you can be. Don’t give your energy away to bad situations. Be you! Be you in all your glory. Let people love you for who you are and don’t lessen yourself for fear of others. As the old saying goes, you could be the juiciest peach in the world but there will still be people out there who hate peaches. The peach is fine, the peach is perfect, there is nothing wrong with the peach, the peach doesn’t have to change and the peach doesn’t have to change people’s minds to think it is delicious.

Be the peach.

I’m still journeying through depression and I will keep you posted with more Confessions of a Mad Mooer.

Any women who suffer from any form of depression or anxiety are welcome to join my own FB group which is pro mystical troll but doesn’t allow any nasty trolling.

https://facebook.com/groups/563402577109194