Tag Archives: pregnancy

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: 5 Uplifting Quotes About Motherhood

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‚Äč”Mothers are all slightly insane.”- J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“There’s no bitch on earth like a mother frightened for her kids.”- Stephen King

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer.”- Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

“It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”- L.R. Knost, Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages

“You don’t have favourites among your children, but you do have allies.”- Zadie Smith, On Beauty

Confessions of a Mad Mooer: The Movie… Sort of

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I’ve done something new today, uploaded a video to YouTube. I’ve never done it before. It was exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. Especially because my first post was the trailer or my book, “Confessions of a Mad Mooer: Postnatal Depression Sucks” which is out in December. 

I’ve never made a book trailer before either. That was pretty nerve wracking in itself. In the end I kept it simple; just my words, and pictures of me with my little ones when we were going through my PND. I’ve attached the link. I hope you like it and I hope you’ll love my book. And don’t forget to check back regular for excerpts, give aways, exact release dates and links on where to get a copy.


Thanks for supporting me. You all mean more to me than I can say.

If you or someone you know has postnatal depression you cand find good resources on the following sites:

PANDA http://www.panda.org.au/

PIRI http://www.piri.org.au/

Black Dog Institute http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Stop Telling People They Can’t Talk About Their Miscarriage

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Recently “Every Child is a Blessing” posted two pics that went viral.

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The pictures above went viral not because they were just another picture of women pre and post birth but because these pictures were dedicated to the “taboo” subject of miscarriage. Whether or not I love the execution of the image is irrelevant, people have complained it is adding salt to the wounds, because I certainly appreciate the sentiment. The stigma surrounding miscarriages needs to end.

Miscarriages are often treated as if they are shameful secrets that need to be hidden away. People would deny that they thought this way but the actions of many actually indicate that they do. Women are indoctrinated that they should never tell anyone that they are pregnant until 12 weeks in case they miscarriage. Why? Because if people don’t know that you were pregnant than it doesn’t matter? That you’ve tried and failed and can keep the shame secret? That you’ll not be sad if others don’t know? These and other reasons are utterly illogical. Once a woman is pregnant and has decided to keep that baby, their hopes and dreams for that baby grow just as fast as the fetus. It isn’t just a collection of cells to the woman, it is the hopes and dreams of a rosie cheeked baby. A warm little person to hug and hold. A human being to love and nurture. It is real and it is growing and the mother is using her own body to feed and protect that little bundle of joy. In short, they love that baby. The pictures represent those dreams externalised that will never come to be with that pregnancy. The loss of that dream isn’t any better because people didn’t know, in fact it is harder. Harder because you have to endure that grief without support and because of this stigma of not being allowed to talk about it, you can’t even ask for support.

People are often highly insensitive to woman who have had miscarriages because of that taboo. I myself was told after mine that X person had also had a miscarriage in the past but thank God she hadn’t told anyone but immediate family because then nobody knew and therefore it was better for her. The message was pretty clear that it was “better” for people not to know. That telling people after your first ultrasound was unacceptable. One must wait until the second ultrasound. It was on my second ultrasound where I was told that there was no longer a heartbeat and that it was a case of fetal demise. I needed to get a babysitter for my daughter so that I could go to the hospital because my body was not letting go naturally. I’d put on the same amount of weight as if I had had an alive fetus.

The fact that my best friend knew and could offer me sympathy and support was a blessing. The fact that others also knew was both a blessing and a curse. A curse because insensitive women told me how it would have been “better” if others didn’t know, but a blessing because so many women I knew then opened up to me that they had miscarried before. That they were there to talk because they knew how much support was needed because they were denied it. They were expected not to speak about it and just soldier on because they knew that is what was expected of them. That because the baby wasn’t full term it didn’t count.

(Just a quick side note, none of my children reached full term. My daughter reached 35 weeks and my boys 32 weeks. All happy, healthy, alive and perfectly real and worthwhile to this day.)

But those hopes and dreams do count and one does grieve when those are literally ripped from their body and one does need support. And most importantly people deserve support and there is no shame in having a miscarriage, only sadness. The woman has done nothing wrong. It is sad, and it happens. But there is no fault and there does not need to be a secret.

So I’m glad that those pictures went viral. I’m glad that people now can visualise what the women have actually lost. And now maybe people will have compassion for women when they have a miscarriage rather than trying to shut them down with their insensitive comments about how people shouldn’t mention they’re pregnant until 12 weeks, or thank goodness it was so early on so it doesn’t matter. It does matter. People knowing will allow women to get support and stop being silenced.

And for the record, the greatest miscarriage risk is at 7 weeks not 12.

So hopefully now people will start offering support rather than lectures or dismissive statements. If you don’t want to be supportive of a grieving friend that’s fine, but please admit that the problem is with you, not because they told someone in your opinion to early or because the baby wasn’t “real enough” in your opinion. It’d be appreciated if people were honest that the problem was societal bias and not the grieving no-longer-mother-to-be.

Miscarriages aren’t a shameful secret that people shouldn’t know about. They’re sad and tragic and people need the support of loved ones to get through it, NOT secrecy and shame.

6 Reasons Why You Should Find Out the Sex of Your Baby

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1. You want to find out.

Oh, will you look at that, you only need one reason. Turns out you don’t need six reasons. Exact same can be applied for not finding out. One reason and one reason alone applies to you finding out or not finding out the gender of your own baby, because that’s what you want. Please don’t mistake what you want with what is right for others. Simple.

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Impractical Parenting: You know you’re a mother when…

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… this is considered not THAT messy.

… you run out of pads so use a nappy in the interim.

… you discover you haven’t actually run out of pads, you’re brain was just too fried to see them so now you’re a grown woman wearing an infant boy’s nappy for no reason.

… the idea of having a cocktail with the girls makes you so excited that you can’t sleep… for the entire month beforehand,  because that’s how far in advance you have to arrange things.

… you’ve forgotten how to go to the toilet unsupervised.

… a good day is when you get to brush your teeth.

… one spew on your top isn’t enough to make you change it.

… you enjoy snuggling in bed on your own even more than a university student.

… your food intake is even worse than a university student’s. It consists of half sucked on left overs.

…  the idea of giving yourself a timeout is appealing.

… having a headache is not an excuse,  it’s a way of life.

… the spirit is willing but the body is exhausted.

… your partner’s very presence infuriates you for no particular reason.

… you’re always hungry but never get food because your children steal it.

… you think it’s okay to sniff another human’s butt.

… you think of creating a blanket fort and hiding in it on a regular basis.

… chocolate is your bed fellow.

… you go to put laundry away, forget what you’re doing, go to make a cup of tea,  forget you made it, go to find clean clothes, can’t find them, then drink cold tea you have just discovered.

…. ask your 27 year old babysitter if she’s been taking her probiotics, because apparently everyone needs to be babied by you now… awkward.

… you have no desire to get out of your pajamas.

… a baby comes bursting out of your vagina, or in the cases like my twins thanks to an emergency c section, out of your stomach (alien style).

Impractical Parenting: how to have a fairy tale pregnancy

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Lessons I learned from fairy tales –

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(Love this artwork from http://dinagoldstein.com/ )

Wicked stepsisters: your family and the inlaws will go mental when you are pregnant,  even more mental if they already are mental.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair: sure you’ll have glossy hair on your head but you’ll be a wildersavage all over

Sleeping beauty: you’ll be tired all through your first and third trimester and on top of that you’ll be gassy.

Cinderella fetch me my wig: people will suddenly need you to do everything for them, the thought of losing you once the baby comes will bring out their clingy me me me attitude.

The emperors new clothes: just go nude it’s too hot for anything else.

The little mermaid: you’ll feel fat and cumbersome even in aqua aerobics.

The frog prince: your husband is a toad one minute then a prince the next.

Cinderella scrub the floor: you’ll want to clean everything and anyone who gets in your way is the enemy.

Fi fi fo fum I smell the blood of an English man: you will crave things, not necessarily weird things, probably just watermelon but if you don’t get it you will hulk up.

Puss in boots: occasionally you’ll insist on wearing high heeled boots so you can out hot celebrity mums. It’s your crazy pregnancy hormones talking,  don’t listen.

Snow White: retreating to the woods for some time out probably isn’t such a bad idea.

The nightingale: if you are put on bed rest you will go stir crazy.

Fairest of them all: sure you’re skin looks great, you’ve been sweating up a storm vomiting all the time. Toxins don’t have a chance to set in with you constantly doing the old heave ho.