Tag Archives: period

I Need to Share This With You

Standard

Today I went and bought an emergency pack of tampons. My period came two days early. I was caught out, in the wilderness of metropolitan Sydney. I rushed into a pharmacy, grabbed a pack of tampons, went to the counter where a young male scanned my tampons. At the end of the transaction he asked me if I wanted a bag. I had my own bag and so responded with, “no thanks, I’m just going to stick them straight in.” That’s right. I said, about tampons, I’M JUST GOING TO STICK THEM STRAIGHT IN!!!!

The guy’s eyes widened in a disbelieving horror that you could see unfolding over and over again in his mind as the visuals became more and more graphic. I finally cottoned on and said, “in my own bag.” But it was too late, we all know it was too late. I will forever be the woman who overshared with the checkout guy at Chemist Works.
For the record, I meant STICK THEM IN MY BAG NOT RAM A WHOLE PACKET UP MY VAJAYJAY…. but I did indeed run straight to the toilet and stick one, SINGULAR tampon in.
I just needed to get that off my chest.

Advertisements

Period Strike

Standard

image

According to science I’ve already bled enough for my period so if it’s all the same can it be over now? I know I only woke up with them this morning but fair is fair and my diva measuring goblet never lies. I’ve had my 60-80ml that textbooks claim is normal so I’m out now. I’ve been really patient about getting three periods worth in my first two days and then still continuing on fo a few more days before my period actually ends but I’ve had enough. I’m 36, I’m too old for this shit.

Science, I give you this ultimatum, either you stop my period once your specified amount of blood loss is over OR you modify your clearly ridiculous figures that you pulled out of your obviale arse that didn’t want to be bothered actually researching such a ooooickyladpartsnooooo issue. Robin out.