My New Year’s Resolution Is To Be More Me

Gandhi once said something akin to – happiness is when your actions and ideas are in harmony. I’d like a slice of that happiness. The happiness of living to your own moral code, to be in harmony with myself. That’s my aim this year, to be me, to respect my own choices, to back my own choices, and to be happy about it.

Everyday we make judgements and it’s important to do so. I judge pedophilia as wrong, I judge child abuse as wrong, I judge domestic violence as wrong, I judge hate crimes as wrong. I judge the beginnings of these things as wrong – sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, etc. My aim for this year is to stand firm in my moral judgements, to speak up about them, support those who likewise speak out, and not to be shamed into silence by those who would prefer bigotry to go unquestioned.

We all make our own judgements, it’s time we owned them. If you find your standards tell you something about yourself that you don’t like then change them don’t deny them.

I’m not saying this will be easy. And I am not saying that the attacks (ranging from passive agressive to flat out vitriolic) won’t leave me shaken at times. But in the long term I hope to get there, to that happy place of living my own authentic life. In the meantime I’ll just have to keep reminding myself of the great mantra from the movie Labyrinth – You have no power over me. Any time I feel shaken by someone attempting to silence or shame me I’ll simply whisper – You have no power over me.

Who wants to try it with me?

Watch Out, Goats About: Year of the Goat

If you like me were born in the year of the Goat you’ve probably been looking forward to 2015. Year of the Goat is supposed to be lucky for Goats right? Wrong! Well, usually it is lucky but apparently this particular year of the Goat is the “Mega Bad Year” for Goats. Pretty sure that’s the technical name for it. Sucks to be us. Instead of all our dreams coming true the gates of heck are supposed to open and rain poop down upon us. Not fair! As goats we already have a tendency to be a little insecure and sulky, add to that our special year being replaced by a crap stick and it has many of us heading for the hills, or at least our blanket forts.

 

Well nuts to that I say. Let’s take that Billy Goat by the horns and take back our birth right. Okay, our negatives are going to be magnified but that doesn’t change the fact that all our positives are also strengthened this year. So the way I see it we have two choices, try to supress our negatives with all our might in order to side step the “Mega Bad Year’s” impact, OR, try to highlight our good qualities so much that we can still be self-indulgent, ingrates because we’ve created such a cushion of good stuff around us that we’ve got some leeway. Or of course the there is a third and fourth option, just freak out, fall in a heap and cry bitter tears as you watch the year slip away, OR, ignore it, it’s a bunch of superstitious nonsense anyway. Three and four are pretty easy to manage without much direction from me, although when it comes to self-sabotage I happen to be one of the best so can definitely provide tips on three for anyone needing them, so I’ll stick to options one and two.

 

Suppression

Essentially the bad traits of the Goat are said to be prissiness, hedonism, dependence, moodiness, anxiety, and ingratitude. Sounds pretty shitty right. Not exactly the poster child of who you want to be or who you want to be friends with. Again, sucks to be us. Non Goats reading this are possibly thinking what a bunch of bastards, to them I say try to be kind, we’re the ones who have to live with these demons swirling around inside of us. So in order to supress these negative traits try looking at all these aspects and set yourself goals in the opposite direction. With that I don’t mean, ‘Don’t be a prissy little princess.’ No need to be mean to yourself. Try to be positive, after all, we’re trying to defeat the “Mega Bad Year” so enough with the negativity. I suggest phrasing things in a positive way, instead of listing the negative state the opposite and make it a goal. Write it up, stick it on your fridge, computer screen, wallet, whatever.

Eg

Be accepting, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

I am happy with what I have, enough is as good as a feast.

I am the master of my own destiny, I think I can, I know I can.

Adversity is just a lesson waiting to become a positive, every cloud has a silver lining.

I am a worthy person, confidence is King.

I am thankful for all the good things that are in my life.

 

Highlight

So you don’t have the iron will that would allow you to keep those insecurities and doubts from bubbling over. You like new shoes, you can never have too many types of tea in your house, yes you do need another pair of jeans in a slightly different colour damn it! Well don’t worry your goaty little head about it, you’ve got a lot of good qualities so really highlight them this year. Make sure you’re maximising your charms, and you have many of them, so that you can still pamper yourself and call everyone about you a bunch of bastards. It’s okay, I’m on your side, I’m one of you. Now apparently our positive characteristics are creativity, refinement, compassion, empathy, intelligence, and thoughtfulness. Dang we’re awesome! Such beautiful, kind people. I love us. We’re the best. If we really concentrate on working hard, and letting our talents shine then we surely have the opportunity to buy a few extra pairs of sunglasses, and go to the odd ridiculously expensive restaurant right? So hit the Chinese New Year (Feb 19) running. Get yourself organised so that your good characteristics are really in order. Maximise the goodness in you. You’re creative, smart and sensitive. Utilise these gifts. Pick your creative goal, whether it be music, painting, writing, photography, sewing etc, just pick it. Now focus that beautiful brain of your on how to achieve your goal. Write up a plan, a weekly plan, daily plan, monthly plan. Whatever you need to keep you on the straight and level for achieving your goal. For a writer wanting to finish a novel they could come up with a plan of writing 500 words a day, easy. Of course they need to do other things to support that plan, maybe think of a household chore schedule, plan dinners a week in advance, take the thinking out of the mundane so that they get done on rote without thinking leaving you to focus on your creativity. If you wish to learn a new instrument, it could be as simple as half an hour a day, but again coming up with a plan that takes care of the mundane to allow that to happen. You have to eat and live right? So take care of yourself, plan yourself into success. Focus on your gifts and shine, and when your bad aspects rear their ugly heads it’s okay because you’re already so far ahead with your dreams that a little set back every now and then doesn’t matter long term. Live long and prosper.

 

I’d like to take this moment to mention that I am in no way trained in Astrology or in life coaching. If you want really good info on Chinese Astrology use Doctor Google to find you an expert, if you want good tips on how to improve your life in 2015 then seek out a trained psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker or life coach.

 

For those wondering why I have barely posted of late, my phone got stolen. Sigh. I did all my WordPressing through my phone so the loss has slowed me somewhat. I have got a replacement but it is quite old and the WordPress ap on it is not official, as there is not an official ap for that platform so is not exactly awesome for the updates. In the meantime I have been working on a saucy piece of chick lit. Yes, you heard me, saucy. I’ll be hitting the Year of the Goat running, 10,000 words in and loving it. I shall be able to put it onto my shelf with my two Chloe Prime novels and my Memoir that I have completed over the past three years. Hopefully publication will find its way into my life in the Year of the Goat. I hope all our dreams come true this year, even the non-Goats but especially my fellow Goaties and my much adored Rabbits and Snakes. Love to my husband and three babies. XooX