Tag Archives: my kitchen rules

Let #MKR’s Dee-saster Inspire A Relationship Health Check



I like many Australians watched My Kitchen Rules last night. I like many Australians was left feeling sickened by the emotional abuse being depicted on the screen. For those who missed the episode,  Dee continually berated, blamed, and belittled her husband Tim. It was quite triggering and upsetting to watch given that Channel 7 had given no content warning and MKR had actually tweeted “Enjoy” about the episode. Domestic Violence is an important issue. Documentaries such as Hitting Home are important and educational viewing but they are not titillating and enjoyable. Nor are they marketed that way. Chanel 7 and MKR’s irresponsibility with their advertising and lack of content warning aside, we can still use this blatant depiction* of spousal psychological abuse to help educate and improve our own relationships. Let this episode inspire us all to give our relationships a health check-up.

Throughout the episode Dee screams at Tim. Every mistake is his fault.  Even mistakes that haven’t happened are his fault. She interrupts him part way through processes to yell at him before he’s even made a mistake. Tim is clearly so stressed that he can’t even think. And then after screaming at Tim, Dee manipulates him with tears and cries to garner sympathy. It’s extreme. Immediate help and intervention is needed. But can you honestly say you’ve never yelled. Think of the last four weeks. Have you become so frustrated with your partner or kids that you have yelled at them? Sure, they were being annoying, sure they weren’t listening, sure there were plenty of other explanations, but have you yelled?

If it was because they had headphones on and a wave of lava was about to hit them you’re probably fine.

If it was at your partner because you felt they wouldn’t listen any other way does that seem healthy to you. Isn’t that a dynamic you need to discuss? You’re leaking rage because you’re feeling stonewalled. Don’t you want help to no longer feel powerless? Don’t you want your sense of self to be strong enough to withstand any perceived slight? Don’t you want a relationship where your needs are heard without you feeling like you have to lose control?  Don’t you want mutual respect. Don’t you want to control yourself even when things don’t go your own way? Life won’t always go your way, it can’t. So it’s time to discuss this relationship dynamic with your partner. Think about getting personal therapy for your own issues and some couples counselling for the negative dynamic you are in. Relationships Australia can help. Your GP can help. Go get a Mental Health Check with your GP and get referred to a therapist. Not only does your partner not deserve to be screamed at, and if you have kids they don’t deserve to overhear it, but you also don’t deserve to feel angry and powerless all the time. You can change. No matter what your reasons, no matter what your past is, you can improve, and there is help for you. Seize it.

If it was at your children stop and think, is this the lesson I want to teach them? That might makes right. That screaming and terror is a valid resolution to a behavioural issue. Perhaps you think it is, but perhaps you feel like there is no other option and the yelling actually makes you feel stressed and awful too. There are programs such as Circle of Security and psychologists that can help you come up with alternate solutions if you don’t want screaming and violence to be your methods of discipline. There is help, sometimes it’s hard to see that things can be better in moments of high stress but they truly can be.  You can be the parent that you want to be. Speak to your GP. They can help with so much more than a sick certificate. They are there to support you. Seeking help is not a weakness it is a sign of strength and a sign of making good choices.

Parenting is tough. Relationships are tough. Just being yourself is tough. There is help out there for you to be the best possible you. Please take it. Please seize it. Don’t live with self anger and guilt any longer. Don’t leak that rage onto others. Break the cycle. You just need to take the first step and seek help.

You don’t need to be an out of control spousal beater to want to change. Anyone can want to be better.

Useful Contacts:
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
Lifeline 131 114
I would also recommend checking out the resources on The Black Dog Institute website.


*I’m aware editing can make things look better or worse. Let’s still use this as a learning opportunity.

#ImACelebrityAU Ep. 2: Something About Smarties, Vodka, and #MKR



Full disclosure,  I have almost no clue what happened, I watched MKR instead. I caught a few pieces here and there in the ads so here’s the 7 things I took away from it:

1. Julia Morris is looking amazing. Has she gotten a new PT? Is she wearing a waist shrinker? Can I get one? Her breasts are defying gravity, they possibly have their own post code. There will be no Susan Sarandon sag type complaints about our JM.

2. The camera people have the worst sense of humour. The WORST! They laugh at weirdly positioned moments very loudly. I am growing to hate them.

3. Brendan Fevola spoke about his time in rehab. Probably the most interesting part. Either that or the fact that Paul Harrigan is a vegetarian. Everyone was shocked. So Fevola and Harrigan can have tie point 3 because they were equally interesting. Way more interesting than point 4.

4. Shane Warne entered the jungle and no fucks were given. He got made leader and still no fucks were given. I do wonder how long before ge starts hitting on the younger women. Admittedly he does his best work via text after a skin full, so he may hold out a bit, but hey, he did say he was keen for people to see the real him…

5. Joel and Heather probably outhost the hosts…

6. Gross stuff was done to Warney and Fevola… why do people want to see horrible things being done to people? If they had to build huts, or create fishing lines, I could get it. But just making them suffer totally pointless, artificial horrors, just seems awful.

7. I think the show would actually be better with less produced stunts and less comments from the hosts… so in short, if it actually was reality TV and not painful commercialism that just isn’t working… Although, one more production element would be useful,  constantly flash up names. Seriously, I still have no clue who half of them are.


… but seriously, how good was MKR? I would be the worst contestant ever. The inevitable kitchen fire during a hail storm would happen. My MKR partner would look me deep in the eyes and give a stirring speech about how we can still pull everything together and the viewers would be sure we were about to be those wild- underdog-mavericks, who just pull it out of the bag, and I’d say… “Fuck that, let’s just put out smarties and vodka, I’m too old for this shit.” Meals would be out on time, they’d be delicious, the guests would be hammered and ver happy, but I think we’d be marked down on our prep, presentation, and whatever factors are in there. So here’s a bonus seven points, this time for MKR

1. I love how excited and positive Monique and Sarah were. They saw their aprons and cheered, they saw Manu and their loins cheered. They were just so happy. I also love that they served chips. I mean they only put three out which was total bullshit. I would have literally flipped the table and stormed out if I was served up three chips, but I loved that chips were on the menu… but only three… the three was bad. Chips good, three bad. But hooray for chips. Non of this waft of artichoke, massaged over a bed of olive mist, gently caressed with beetroot feelings. They served chips, and they wore thongs. Thank you.

2. Although Gianni and Zana have been advertised to be the villains of the piece I think Rosie and Paige are probably the dark horses to become the true biatches. They had snarky things to say about everyone… I obviously want to go drinking with them immediately. They would be hilarious. More Rosie and Paige. Sarcastic snarks unite. I shall definitely be having wine with future viewings so we can be gossipy besties having a laugh…. and occasionally I’ll need a giant gulp because they go from funny to just plain nasty.

3. Jordan and Anna are my favourite because I also have twin boys. That’s all it takes. I am betraying my state and loving the twins instead… even if only one is depicted. (Anna, please crack out the baby photos.)

4. Despite the very obvious eyeliner wings on Zana I’m not inspired to try it. The red lips were divine though. I’ll definitely be redding my lips for April again… I’m probably not going to try flaring my nostrils and pursing my lips every time somebody gives me food either.

5. Zana is trying to out Manu in sauce love… she’s not trying to out Manu him in food love manners. So Manu still wins. Hooray.

6. I really need to use more goats cheese. So do Monique and Sarah (burn).

7. I did find the whole making a big deal about the “cougar” angle a bit distasteful. They’re all consenting adults so making it into something tawdry didn’t sit well with me. But apart from that, I’m super excited to see more and get more cooking ideas. And to see if the next team beats 68 points.