Tag Archives: Marieke Hardy

ABC Book Club Season 11 Episode 2: #bookclubABC 

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The panelists are here JByrne is of course fabulous, Marieke is radiant, and Ace… well… his ankles are hidden. I can’t see his socks at all.

JByrne introduces the guest panelists. C.S. Pacat is back as is Omar Musa. Omar in turn introduces this evenings classic, 
The Monkey’s Mask by Dorothy Porter. He describes it as EROTIC. The word rolls off his tongue and reverberates round the panel. Ace is probably passed out in excitement overload that the word has been cracked out so early in the piece.

Time to discuss what’s new in the world of literature. Tracey Spicer has a new book and apparently so does F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not a bad effort given he died in 1940. Perhaps his ghost dictated it to a clairvoyant. Nope, they’ve gotten some of his unpublished works and popped them into a beautifully bound, blue book. It’s a bit Go Set A Watchman. We don’t know if it has been rewritten and edited to the author’s standard and if it’s what they’d want.

Now time for the novel of the moment….

…… dramatic pause…..

………… still more drama…..

Exit West. They describe it as a love story with a brutal backdrop…. The dramatic recreation looks like a doco on the Middle East. It’s weird, last week they said it was a Thriller then put up a romantic clip, this week they said it was a love story and put up a doco. What are you doing to me? I need everyone to be on the same page with the description. Now I’m confused and feel vulnerable and alone. Alone except for my Aldi Moscato. 

Marieke is the first one to speak. She says that she loved it. It was bang up to the elephant. Okay, she said it was perfect, but I’ve got a lot of phrases from 1906 floating around in my head so you must all suffer through my sheer delight in the phrases. I just pray that ejaculations, vaginas, and penises come up frequently this season, because I’ve got a lot of terms I’ve leanerd for those. A lot! Back to Marieke, she says that Exit West is quite simply perfect. It is deeply romantic but also pragmatic.

Omar reveals that he is friends with the author but it will not prevent him from saying what needs to be said. He says that Mohsin Hamid is a genius and one of the finest writers ever to exist. Omar says that Exit West is indeed a very fine novel but isn’t as good as his others. How good must his other novels be if Marieke describes this one as perfection? Be right back, going to find an all night bookstore and buy every Mohsin Hamid book in sight….

What did I miss?

Ace says he loved it. Marieke and Ace are on the same page, boring. They start talking about the literary device common in Spec Fic of the portal. Most of the panelists simply say they like it. CS breaks it down for us. The door in some ways is like Grendel from Beowulf. It represents all our fears and worst qualities. 

So at first the idea of someone coming into your home, your neighbourhood, in the dead of night is frightening. It’s very othering of those coming through. Of course from the other perspective it is a doorway of hope and freedom. So what is the epitome of fear for some is the only hope for others.  

Everyone nods understandingly. I think CS has blown everyone’s freaking minds. They sit silent, still, alone in their contemplations. Danger! We need movement and action or this episode will surely die in the arse. Get these people six lines of coffee STAT! Somebody throw Toni Jordan onto the stage.

Omar starts reflecting on why the author didn’t name the country. The panelists are clearly all now having an existential crisis and questioning the meaning of their lives. JByrne says it was a fable and naming a place would have bogged it down in historic fact. 

Ace questions why the author uses such short senteces and then ones that go for pages and pages. Marieke worries that only people who care will read this book and its transformative powers will be lost. CS and her profound statements are evidently the Book Club equivalent of smoking a joint. They’re all going to start wondering what their fingers really mean. Words like parables and myth are being thrown around.

Alright, time for Beside the Bed. Hopefully that shakes these crazy kids out of staring at their daddles.

Ace is reading a Vincent Van Gogh biography of 900 pages. He emphasises this fact so that we know that not only is he a mega good reader but he can count heaps high too. I missed the title, soz. I think it was Simply Van Gogh

C.S. is reading all about swords and fencing. She particularly enjoyed Richard Cohen’s By the Sword. C.S. and Ace apparently both fenced at school but different styles. Fight, fight, fight. There shall be blood on the books tonight… nope, they’re just moving on.

Omar is reading  Jane by Maggie Nelson.

Marieke is reading Benediction by Kent Haruf.

JByrne is reading Spec Fic! She’s reading Ted Chiang. C.S. has brought the Byrnes over to our team. Hooray. JByrne, call me. We’ll get together with some divine Sydney based spec fic authors such as Alison Croggon, Margo Lanagan and Thoraiya Dyer and can discuss some Australian spec fic such as Jane Rawson’s From the Wreck and Marianne de Pierres’ Peacemaker…. And then we can convert you, like some sort of cult. It’ll be fun. We’ll drink strong liquor and eat stew.

And now they’re up to the classic. The Monkey’s Mask. A264 thriller in poetic form about a lesbian private investigator. You don’t hear about that every day. Sure, we’ve all read some really long poems, Gilgamesh and the Aneid spring immediately to mind, but this is a tad different. The Monkey’s Mask by Dorothy Porter states that you’re about to do something you’ve never done before, read a 264 page poem….

Omar says that he loves this book so much because it a a noir, lesbian, thriller, in verse, that totally takes the piss out of poetry, and he’d never read something like that before. He says this helped inform him about truly great poetry and that it was part of his education and inspiration to become a poet himself. 

C.S. said she liked it because Porter had reclaimed plot for poetry. Plot had moved out of epic poetry into novels, and then from novels into movies. That poems had become about themese and books about characters… I can see that glazed look coming over the other panelists’ eyes. Come on people, this is a breakfast chat for Spec Fic writers. 

Stop having your minds blown and add some spark to the discussion.  The topic is interesting, the books great, the guests delightful but things are playing a little flat. I’m praying for a wardrobe malfunction. Where’s Virginia Gay when you need her? 

Ace says that it was sexy and he loved it. He comes up with some vaguely literary reason as to why he liked it. He’s probably just sitting there thinking, “I’d like to say something fancy to back up my liking of this sexy book.” Damn it Ace, just embrace your sexyness.  Be the sexy man we all know you are. Just beat your chest and yell, “I’m a sexy man and I like sexy books. This book is super sexy and I bloody well loved it for it.”

Evidently all the panelists love the book. JByrne is even calling the author Dot. So there’s definitely a closeness and love all round. Yet Marieke remains silent. She’s so animated that her sudden stillness is intriguing. 

C.S. says that she loved this book because it expanded her ideas of what could be done with queer fiction. JByrne says the poetic form makes it seem like a verbal tadpole because it just whizzes along. 

Finally the great Marieke breaks her silence. She says that poetry isn’t her thing, and that poets are a bit like vegans, they can be annoying. Omar subtly dashes away a tear that has formed in his poetic eye. BUT… she bloody loved this 264 page poem and she totally got it. She says that the book is a beautiful live story about a women who is completely… she pauses, she suggests she’s possibly isn’t allowed to use this term on TV. I picture a frantic producer rushing across the studio to hit the giant red button of power cutting doom. I pass out in excitement. What did I miss? Did Marieke get to drop the c-bomb? 

In short, it was about a woman who was totally besotted with an evocative woman who had done a very bad thing and was in denial. She’s refusing to believe that this woman she is so struck by could do anything wrong. Marieke says that this book isn’t so much about mystery as it is about denial. 

Omar says that he has come to a realisation that most of Australia’s finest writers are gay. That something about being an outsider has given a greater perception when looking in.

The episode then moves by a performance poetry piece by Omar Musa. A perfect end.

And that’s a wrap. Next week JByrne says Ace is bringing us crazy, British biddies.

Catch-up on last weeks recap here.

Watch past episodes here.

Find the drinking game here.

ABC Book Club, the Drinking Game: #bookclubABC 

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If there’s one thing that readers love it’s pyjamas… but if there’s two, it’s drinking. So what better way to honour The Book Club ABC than with the time honoured tradition of a drinking game.

Sip

  • When terms such as trends, hot, and popular are used.
  • When they use a dramatic recreation.
  • When Jason tries to give an intellectual reason for liking a sexy book.
  • When the terms frothy, fizzy, fresh, fountain, or frog are used.
  • When Marieke gets angry at Jennifer.
  • When Jason wears exciting socks.
  • When you feel a little parched.

Drink

  • When Marieke makes reference to a dog.
  • When Jennifer makes reference to a horse.
  • When Jason implies another panelist doesn’t understand a text.
  • When they discuss a book that you have read.
  • When Jennifer mispronounces a name or title.
  • When a title that has been discussed in a previous episode is brought up.
  • When you passionately disagree with something a panelist says.

Chug

  • When they mention a book your friend wrote.
  • When all panelists hate a book.
  • When a panelist walks off the set.
  • When a guest panelist loses it and starts raving.
  • When Jennifer and Marieke team up against Jason.
  • When Jason finds a book too sexy.
  • When Jennifer pulls a quiz on Marieke, it’s a solidarity chug because Marieke hates those quizes.

Catch-up on the Season 11 Episode 1 recap here.

Watch past episodes here.

Buy my shit here. Please. I beg you.

ABC Book Club, Season 11, Episode 1: #bookclubABC

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Image stolen from Marieke Hardy’s twitter account.

It’s back. Life can resume again as Book Club is here. JByrne is of course sleeveless because she hasn’t been working those delts to keep them hidden by sleeves. Marieke is flawless. And Ace, oh my, sleeves rolled up to show off those exquisite forearms and he’s wearing stripey blue and yellow socks. Or is it green and yellow? #sockwatch The exact colour is an enigma just like Ace.

Before we get into the actual show let me take care of a few housekeeping issues:

1) I’m dyslexic, there will be spellos, grammos, typos, and just plain wrongos.

2) JByrne = Jennifer Byrne

Ace = Jason Stegersaurussex

Marieke = jamiest bit of jam.

3) I am unsponsored but if anyone wants to bribe me I love wine and notebooks… and money. Money is my favourite. 

Now onto the show. Joining the heavenly regular panelists are Michael ‘the dagger’ Robotham (known as Robo-Tham from previous episodes) and Clementine Ford. I am wet your pants excited about the Fordinator being on. I hope there is plenty of talk of about uteruses.

The panelists get down to business and discuss books that have been released during their hiatus. Australian author Sarah Schmidt’s 
See what I have Done
 gets a shout out. I’m excited because I’m reading that at the moment. 

And of course they pay tribute to the brilliant Heather Rose who has taken out the Stella Prize this year with The Museum of Modern Love. Rose remembers vividly once getting a royalty cheque that was for less than the envelope would have cost. Thankfully she is getting the recognition she deserves now and more royalties. Big congrats to an outstanding Australian woman writer.

Onto the bones of the show. JByrne says that they’re looking at Sydney author, Kathryn Heyman’s, newest offering, Storm and Grace. JByrne says that it has been touted as the literary thriller of the year. That’s a big call seeing how it’s only April, but then again, she’s an author capable of making a big call. Let’s see if the panelists agree.

They do the dramatic recreation thingo. It looks like a romance movie or teenage coming of age movie. One where the lead female’s ultimate coming of age involves getting boinked. I’m not getting the thriller vibe from this footage. I might be getting slightly hard in the bra region but definitely not suspenseful.

Robo-Tham liked it. He found the book claustrophobic and uncomfortable. That’s exactly the feeling he wanted to get. He respects the level of research that she must have done to get the sensation of deep sea diving just right. Heyman’s research included free diving and deep sea diving. She definitely went all out.

Ace says it’s not a thriller because there is little suspense over the major crime. But he quite liked it. He says it’s a book about an “unusual” relationship and a very odd man. Marieke corrects him and says, “abusive relationship.” Preach. Let’s stop using euphemisms for family violence. They’re not “robust relationships.” They’re abusive. They’re criminal. Let’s not sweep it under the metaphorical rug with niceties.

JByrne was sucked in by the sexyness. Oh myyyyy. It’s a repeat of episode one of season ten where JByrne yearned for Heathcliff’s inky eyes. JByrne we need to talk. Let’s do coffee and Aunty Robin will tell you all about love and life. You’re not simply getting warm in the underpants region over literary bad boys, you’re getting excited for literary wife beaters. 

The knife comes out, Marieke says it’s a year 9 romance and the names of the characters, particularly Storm, are lame. She slams it as badly written and badly structured. So harsh. I think my mouth will never shut again because it is hanging open in shock. Brutal. All I can say is, brutal.

Marieke goes on to explain that her savagery comes from a place of crossness not because she’s a disparaging biatch. She lets us know that she ia quite nice and doesn’t actually enjoy saying awful things about books but she’s cross. She’s super cross because domestic violence is such an important issue and it needs to be explored but she thinks this did it badly. Maybe she wanted something more like Zoe Morrison’s Music and Freedom? I don’t know, but she is not happy. Not happy at all.

She says that Storm is a sleazy creep from the start so why did Grace ever fall for him? She says the seduction and Grace’s vulnerabilities needed to be clearer so that people understood why women get involved with these guys. For Marieke it was a creep from the start becomes a killer and that’s no surprise and wasn’t thriller worthy. 

JByrne is just about crying at this point. Why doesn’t Marieke understand that Storm is sexy? JByrne is all about the sexy. She’s possibly going to overtake Ace in the sexy loving stakes. 

The Fordinator speaks. She wanted the desire to be clearer. She felt that it wasn’t clear why Grace would fall for creepy, controlling Storm. JByrne is looking at her in despair. I can tell she’s thinking, “but he’s fucking hot!” But the Fordinator quite liked the Greek Chorus as a literary technique. JByrne says the Greek Chorus is why it is a literary thriller because Thrillers generally don’t have literary techniques.

I throw my glass of Brown Brothers Moscato at the television. It doesn’t make it. I simply makes a mess of my carpet. I love you JByrne, you are the sun and the moon, but you are wrong, oh so very wrong. Plenty of Thrillers use literary devices. Plenty! I could go on and and give a detailed list (OH, HOW DO I WANT TO GO ON AND GIVE A DETAILED DISSERTATION ON THIS) but I’m supposed to be writing a recap right now, but just know, I’m quietly seething… and sucking at my carpet.

Robo-Tham bravely steps up and explains to Marieke and Clementine the attraction women feel for Storm. He likens it to Trump. People voted for Trump because he talks big. They got sucked in by his confidence and big talk. You know how us ladies love big talk, orange skin, and extreme comb-overs. Amirightoramiright? Ooooo Trumpy, you so sexy. No. 

The Fordinator asks why do all the women have the same attraction. It’s almost as if she thinks us sheilas are diverse. Pfffft. Come on CFord, you know us ladeez are only after one thing.

Now onto discussing what the literary trends for 2017 will be:

  • Progressing from titled with GIRL in the title to WOMEN… Fuck. My book coming out the year is Henrietta Dodgson’s Asylum for Damaged Women. I’m falling into a stereotype before it’s even set. Shit!
  • Australian Domestic Noir, will be big. Phew. I’m not a complete stereotype. My November release is set in Callan Park Hospital for the Insane in 1906. So it’s Australian, and it’s dark, but it’s not exactly domestic. 
  • Angry lady books will be big… Shit. 
  • Spec Fic with a literary bent will be in. SHITSHITSHITSHIT! Another glass of wine goes at the TV, hits the floor again.  Henrietta Dodgson’s Asylum for Damaged Women is Historical Fantasy. I basically take fairy tale princesses and lock them up in Callan Park Hospital for the Insane in 1906. I’m a great big future trends whore instead of a maverick self publisher. I’m not a special snowflake.

    JByrne picks up Michael Sala’s newest book as an example of a book to look out for. I’m cheering at the TV. I used to teach with him. Go buy his book. Yay. Go Michael, go.

    The Fordinator admits that it’s a good time to be a feminist writer. Maintain the rage, sister, bring out Fight Like a Woman.

    Robo-Tham wants less celebrities writing, long pause, children’s books. What was the long pause? I read into everything he does because he’s a Crime writer. Is the pause because you mean not just children’s books but all books, or is it because you want to emphasise Children’s Books but they can run wild on adult? Tell me Robo-Tham, tell me!!! It probably means nothing and he just had to breathe.

    Which leads us to By the Bed. The segment where the panelists say what books are by the bed and I waft into a fantasy world of lying next to Ace’s bed.

    Robo-Tham is reading Rebus novels.

    Marieke throws a curve ball. She hasn’t been reading in bed but reading drunk in the bathtub. New fantasies are emerging. She’s been loving The Last Picture Show.

    JByrne has been reading Storyland.

    Ace has been reading 
    Crimson Lake by Candice Fox Small excited wee for Sydney crime writer Candice Fox. I adore her. More Candice, more L.A. Larkin, more Tania Chandler, more Emma Viskic, more Cass Moriarty, MORE SISTERS IN CRIME. 

    The Fordinator is reading 
    Circle of Friends. She says it’s like a hug. Awwww.

    And now for 
    Hillbilly Elegy by J.D Vance. Will Marieke go full savage on this one as well?

    JByrne does the intro, it’s a memoir but was billed as the inside story of Trump’s people. However the author said its purpose was to start a conversation not to be the ultimate explanation and lesson.

    Robo-Tham loved it. He kept nudging his wife in bed to read her quotes. She told him she had a headache. We’ve all been there.

    Ace said it reminded him of Jimmy Barnes’s memoir. A man who pulled himself up from poverty and an awful life to achieve greatness. And how they both nearly didn’t make it out of their horrific circumstances alive. 

    Marieke charges into this love fest and calls it a flat telling of an interesting story. She is having none of anyone’s shit today. She said it skimmed through interesting stuff that should have been fleshed out. Ace said he loved the skimming. They stare at each other across JByrne. Horns locked. I await JByrne saying something about sexyness. It does not happen.

    The Fordinator starts to say how she felt that the author was an intelligent guy and that the author should have moved passed the “America is the greatest country” rhetoric and actually given the idea some critical thought. He as a white man could pull himself out of despair. It was hard but would it not be even harder for others that aren’t CIS white men?

    Robo-Tham leaps into the thick of things. He talks more about the problems faced by America and white people in poverty and how beautifully J.D. Vance covered it by showing the good and the bad.

    Fordinator is back and asks why is it suddenly now that people care about poverty. Why is it that black and Hispanic people being in poverty is looked away from in disgust but now that it’s a white problem people are fascinated? Marieke and the Fordinator state that the author fails to recognise his own privilege as a white man. And again raise the issue that he never critiques the trite “America is the greatest country” without thinking about if it actually is or not.

    Robo-Tham tells Ford she wanted the author to “attack” his own country where as he could accept that Vance was still backing his own country. Did she want it critiqued or attacked? There’s a difference.

    In the end, the two white male panelists loved Hillbilly Elegy, and one out of the three white female panelists likewise loved it. Yep, that’s enough to get it voted in.

    JByrne concludes by letting us know that Omar and CS are back next week. Hooray, we loved them last year. They’re discussing Exit West and The Monkey’s Mask. And we are treated to a clip of Roald Dahl saying WRITE DOWN YOUR IDEAS!!! Because like dreams, you’ll forget them.

    Watch this episode on iView here.

    Read last year’s season highlights here.

    Buy my shit here.

    Book Club ABC Season 10 Summer Special: #bookclubABC 

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    It’s here. It’s really here. We’ve emerged from the wilderness and Book Club with JByrne is before us again. I’m so happy I could …

    ….

    WTF. They’ve got a desk. They’ve got a news panel style desk. Oh no, no, no, no, no! How can I perform #sockwatch now? ABC, I implore you, get a clear cutout on the bottom. We need to see Jason’s woolly socks. What if BLaw is on? How will we see those magnificent ankles? Is that why you’ve introduced the desk? It was bloody Ben wasn’t it? Benjamin Law and his sexy nude ankles requiring a nudity warning. Deep breaths. Just listen to JByrne’s mellifluous voice and forget the ankles.

    [Do remember I’m dyslexic so there will be typos, spellos, grammos, and just plain wrongos]
    JByne tells us that they’re doing a 5 of the Best special. Each of the panelists gets to choose the best book to discuss that they read this year PLUS they’ll reveal the top 5 books as voted by the Book Club viewers.
    The guests are introduced. Be still my beating brain, it is the beauteous Michael Williams, anonymous Italian novelist, dead British actor, and most importantly, my muse. C.S. Pacat is also on. I am so excited. She was brilliant last time she was on. And of course regular panelists, Magic Marieke and Jace the Ace Stegersaurussex, complete the panel. You complete me, I whisper to my television.

    But before we can listen to these Gods of Australian literature we’re hearing from the gatekeepers, booksellers, on “what sold its socks off.” Too soon, JByrne. Too soon. We’re only just getting used to the end of #sockwatch. Have some sensitivity with your language choice, please.

    Book sellers tell us that debut, female, authors are the hot trend this year. So glad having a vagingo is hot right now. Hannah Kent is apparently part of this trend because she’s put out her second novel this year. I’ll just let that sink in and move on. Lianne Moriarty is also hot right now. Girl on a Train is still hot. Girls are hot. Who runs the world? Girls! Something I didn’t catch the name of was also hot. The description left me wondering if the bookseller knew the difference between high and low fantasy. I was already questioning someone putting out their second novel being considered a debut author…. But the general consensus is in, girls and escapism are so hot right now.
    And now it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty. What books will the panelists be discussing?

    My Muse Michael is the first cab off the rank. He’s chosen The Sellout by Paul Beatty. A controversial book from the controversy loving director of the Wheeler Centre / anonymous Italian woman / dead British actor. He’s going to say something naughty and we all await with anticipation. My glass of moscato is positively beside itself and my semi-soft blue-cheese is hanging on his every word.

    He opens by saying it isn’t an easy or comfortable read. There’s slavery. There’s racism. There’s a whole heap of big issues and humour is used to convey them. The humour makes it “spikey” but Michael says he believes Beatty “doesn’t care if you like it or not.” Those spikes are part of the point…. What have I become? I’ve come up with a Jace the Ace Stegersaurussex level pun.

    Interestingly this book is the first American book to win the Man Booker Prize. It’s surprising because not only is the style a tad jarring but the book is not just American but overtly and unashamedly American.

    Marieke says that The Sellout was a “book of ideas in search of a narrative.” What a poetic phrase. I’m stealing it. She says that it had so many big and interesting ideas that it seemed to overwhelm any attempt to wrestle it into a narrative.

    Michael says that it echoes Catch 22 but isn’t as well actualised. But he chose The Sellout, shouldn’t he utterly adore it? He says that it has a great setting but character arcs are weak.

    Jason puts it simply, “the parts are greater than the sum.” This is why Jason and Marieke are the regulars, throwing out sentences of gold.

    C.S. is finally permitted to speak. My wine, my cheese, and I cheer. She says that the experience was like being on social media. It was very contemporary and you were being hit with lots of ideas and snippets. She appreciated the fresh approach and the perspective given. I love her so much. She’s so smart and articulate. Hearts are literally coming out of my eyes right now.

    JByrne says that the message was that “it was ever thus.” Boom! That’s why she’s on the big bucks, people. Four words and she has utterly nailed it.

    Michael concludes that he admired The Sellout more than he liked it and urges people to read it.

    Next up is C.S. Pacat and she has brought The Cursed Child by a little known author called J. K. Rowling. There’s the customary dramatic recreation that I’m the only person on the planet that doesn’t love. You’ve got zombie thespian Michael Williams on, get him to perform them! Sweet merciful cheeses, did Gollum emerge from Middle Earth just to say “Harry Potter” in that recreation. That was terrifying. What next, clowns? I need a hug.

    C.S. says she chose it because J. K. Rowling is a genius at world building and she really missed the world and wanted to visit again. She acknowledges that she doesn’t like “zombie franchises” but wanted to read this. For people unfamiliar with what a zombie franchise is, it’s those long series of books which have totally lost their way and continue on an on and at book 10 you’re questioning what the fucking point is anymore and screaming, “why won’t you die” at characters that you once loved. Spec fic and crime fic fans know what I’m talking about.

    C.S. liked that it was about a bad father. Segue to Michael. That’s a bit rough. Michael was also keen to step back into Harry’s world but he’s not as eager to go back in after hanging out with the Cursed Child.

    Marieke was not super jazzed about it. She’s not a Potterhead and says she felt like she was at a party where everyone knew each other except her and she was just lingering by the dips table all night. Somebody give this woman a raise immediately. She is throwing out soundbites all over the place. She tops it off with, “Who the fuck is Hagrid?”

    Jace the Ace Stegersaurussex talks about how he read the Harry Potter books to his children. My ovaries are tingling. He then jumps to the heart of the matter and says that it works very well for theatre script, which it is, but to make it more accessible to novel readers, which Harry Potter fans are, more details needed to be added.

    Jace, JByrne, and Michael start chatting excitedly about the Potterverse, you can see Marieke travel back to that dips table in her mind. I can’t help but wonder if C.S. has been muted. She brought the book. Where are her words?

    A producer must have noticed this also, C.S. is permitted to speak again. She notes that it was interesting to go into a plot driven series through a character  driven script. She’s slayed it again. You know what, she doesn’t need to speak as much because she bloody kills it every time she opens her mouth. More love hearts come out of my eyeballs.

    Marieke wasn’t impressed with the logic flaw in the manuscript in regards to time travel and multiple realities. Michael quotes Terry Pratchett at her in response. I am always happy for a Terry Pratchett reference.

    And now it is time for Jace the Ace Stegersaurussex’s choice. Music and Freedom by Zoe Morrison. Ace loved the use of music. JByrne also liked the music and said it was one of the two pillars of the novel. The other pillar was domestoc violence.

    Marieke liked the book but was not a fan of the structure. Whereas both Michael and Jason liked a bit of muddling of the structure because it mimicked the loss of control.

    Marieke goes out on her own, she didn’t love the music but found the story of domestic violence incredibly effective.

    Michael reasserts the importance of music because it represents control. Ace and C.S. (who has finally been allowed her voice again) says that music actually represents freedom, but is of course important.

    In the end the whole panel agree, they would recommend the book to friends because not only is it important but it was artfully written.

    Okay, the panel are now recommending books.

    Michael recomends The Mothers by Brit Bennett

    Marieke recommends The Voyeur’s Motel by Gay Talese

    JByrne recommends Days Without End by Sebastian Barry

    Ace recommends The Return by Hishmash Matar

    C.S. recommemds Swing Time by Zadie Smith

    JByrnes now gets the spotlight. She goes a little bit rock’n’roll with Jimmy Barnes’s memoir. She loves Barnesy, she loved the book. She even got Barnsey himself to do the voice over for the dramatic recreation…. I’m still backing Michael performing this as being better. Just sayin.

    Spoiler alert, right up front they reveal the end, it ends with Jimmy Barnes leaving his family in a van with the band. It does not end with his current life. That’ll come in like volume 3 apparently. Fingers crossed Cold Chisel makes it into volume 2.

    Marieke was expecting a rock’n’roll memoir but got Angela’s Ashes. She says it was very important but staggeringly difficult to read. It was about immigration and displacement. It was about child abuse and resilience.

    Acec was skeptical at first but was won over. He notes that there were some bad puns but in the end he became a Barnsey fan. Michael was okay with the bad puns because he felt that the humour was a coping mechanism.

    C.S. liked the gaps. Such hideous abuse was depicted yet there were still stories that clearly went untold. It meant that Barnsey endured even worse child abuse than depicted.

    Michael acknowledges that the known future of the writer is an important driving force. Even though the book doesn’t get to Barnsey making it huge, the reader knows that he did. The contrast of the staggering success with the horrific abuse is important even though it goes unsaid.

    Looks like another unanimous reccomendation.

    Marieke is being a total rebel and chooses an older novel, Terms of Endearment. She claims that she has replaced JByrne with a new literary life coach, Aurora Greenway. What the actual eff! Replacing perfection with that selfish, narcissistic, meanie??? I don’t even know how to feel anymore. I started this season saying that Marieke was right about Wuthering Heights and JByrne was so terribly wrong, and here I am at the end saying Marieke is wrong and JByrne so very right. It’s like I’ve come full circle but finally remembered to put my underpants on the right way. I just can’t even.

    Marieke imagines flipping off everyone who doesn’t agree with her love of Aurora. I think JByrne and Marieke may come to blows. I’m scared and excited all at the same time. Ace is trying to be diplomatic. I can tell he is also scared.

    C.S. doesn’t vibe on the book. Marieke declares that she doesn’t care with such emotion cracking in her voice that you know she does in fact care and her heart is being ripped out of her chest. C.S. soldiers on, she doesn’t like books with characters that are so awful that you’re supposed to feel smuggly superior to them. She wants to be in the world not looking down on it. That’s so beautiful, more love hearts. Marieke externalises her flipping off of everyone.

    Michael talks about the structure of the book echoing how little space the daughter is given. Aurora is so all consuming that very little is left for her daughter

    Michael says that the men in Terms of Endearment range from dissapointing to criminal. Marieke likes this because it’s just like real life.

    And my kids are up yet again so I’ll have to finish this recap later. Will “edit” in the end shortly. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! It has been an interesting night. Random fireworks, yelling drunken neighbours, increasingly grumpy trio of children. Not that I blame my neighbours, I’m excited for Book Club too. If I had fireworks I’d be letting them off too.

    The top 5 books as voted by the viewers were:

    1. Clementine Ford’s Fight Like a Girl
    2. The Dry by Jane Harper
    3. Man in the Corner by Nathan Besser
    4. The Good People by Hannah Kent
    5. Insults About Age Everywhere I Look by Helen Garner

    And now there’s a quiz.

    Marieke is so excited…. she is not at all excited. The M Team vs Ace and C.S. Who will win, who will be victorious, who shall sob and who shall cheer? In short, the M Team won. C.S. somehow missed a quote from Tolkein. I have no idea how because I screamed the answer psychically at her. TOLKEIN. IT’S IN THAT LETTER GANDALF WROTE THEN BILBO SAYS IT. IT’S A REOCCURRING MOTIF. IT’S ACTUALLY IN REVERSE IN MERCHANT OF VENICE. I AM OF NO HELP ON ANY OTHER QUESTION!

    And now they’re wrapping up for the year with Paul Kelly and Charlie Owen performing. They assure us they’ll be back next year in the weekly format.

    But don’t forget to vote for the Book Club ABC in the Logies.

    Catch up on episodes in iView.

    Michael Williams will be my next #Robinpedia entry. Keep an eye out on Thursday.

    The Book Club ABC, Season 10, Episode 12: #bookclubABC

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    So it’s here. The season final of The Book Club ABC. There shall be even more typos, spellos, grammos and just plain wrongos, in this recap because not only will my  dyslexia lead us afoul, but a steady stream of tears are making it hard for me to see. Don’t go, JByrne. We love you.

    The epic conclusion to season 10 of The Book Club ABC starts as it should, with a warning for sexual references. Oh that smouldering little crumpet Jace the Ace contains enough sexual energy to short out the sun. He should have a sexual reference warning following him around in real life.

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    JByrne smiles bravely at the camera but you can tell that she’s emotional. We’re all emotional. The end is nigh. Even Marieke looks a little moist around the eye region. Ace just looks sexy, as always. That’s why he’s there, eye candy.

    Virginia Gay is back and looking like she is channeling the spirit of the revolution. Golden curls fall about her shoulders and she’s wearing a long flowing dress to hide her muted footwear. As punishment for speaking out of turn in episode 7 she had all her signature colour pop shoes confiscated and has been locked under JByrne’s stairs and only just let out. You may have taken her shoes, JByrne, but this look says you’ll never take her freedom.

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    And of course Margaret Pomeranz is there. How else can you see out 10 seasons without getting the queen of television on as your special guest stars. God I’ve missed hearing that sultry voice. I could just close my eyes and listen to her all day. Sigh. The audience does a standing ovation for her. And by the audience I mean me and my wine.

    The first novel is The Transmigration of Bodies by Yuri Herrera. JByrne calls it a stunning take on film noir. There’s a dramatic recreation, I’m still not a fan of them and really feel making the panelists act it out would be much more fun. Charades anyone? There’s no whale murder this week so that’s good. But, if you’re doing a take on noir… shouldn’t you have your recreation in the style of film noir? It isn’t.

    Virginia loved The Transmigration of Bodies. It made her very aware of her own body. She could feel her skin tingling and her house closing in around her as she read. Virginia says it’s incredibly sexy. No need to hear from Ace, we’ll go ahead and assume he liked it.

    Margaret Pomeranz also loved it. She says it’s actually very funny and the phrasing unique. I wait for her to give it a star rating. Please give it a star rating. I beg you, give it a star rating. There is no star rating.

    Marieke of course hated it. She talks about how ridiculous it is that there is some woman in there who is so up for it that she risks the plague to get a packet of condoms. Marieke reckons that Yuri Herrera is the kind of writer at writers’ festivals that leaves his sunglasses on inside even though it’s dark just to be cool. I slowly push my beret, scarf, and pipe to the side.

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    Jason loves the plague and the corruption… what? Where’s the sex, Ace? Marieke says the set up was interesting but the execution crapola. Ace and JByrne then say that plot isn’t important anyway. Marieke pulls her WTF face. JByrne uses Blade Runner as an example of another text where plot wasn’t important, the mood was. Now I’m pulling my own WTF face.

    They talk about the translation. It’s a foreign text so they must discuss it… they approve of it.

    Queen of film, Margaret Pomeranz, says there’s a film in it, a very bleak one.

    And now it’s time for By the Bed. Excuse me whilst a fantasise about Ace’s bedroom.

    Virginia Gay is reading Speaking Out by Tara Moss.

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    Ace is reading Ghost Empire by Richard Fidler.

    JByrne has been reading The Queue by Basma Abdel Aziz.

    Marieke just read Lust and Wonder by Augustus Burroughs

    Margaret Pomeranz has been on a Michael Robotham binge.

    And now for Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf. Two lonely older people who decide to share a bed to get through the cold, lonely, nights.

    Ace found it sweet and tender. He found it beautiful and felt the characters came alive through the dialogue. In fact, Ace is off to read more Kent Haruf books.

    JByrne said it was a tiny book, simply written but big on issues and big on feelings. She’s put her heart out there, let’s see Marieke stomp on it.

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    Marieke says the book was one of the most beautiful books she has ever read and that she can’t talk about it without weeping. She says it is about romance as kindness rather than as lust. Awwwww. Dats beautiful.

    Margaret Pomeranz became so invested in the characters that she became afraid of what the author would do to them. Everyone agrees that the investment in the characters is what makes this book so moving. Virginia kisses this book. That’s two book kisses this season, LaRose and Our Souls at Night.

    They all love that this is a book about the inner life of the elderly. Not many people focus on the lives of the elderly. Often they’re used almost as stock filler characters so it is lovely to have such a well written book featuring this marginalised group.

    Oooooo, treat time. Time for a flashback to the very first show, back when it was called First Tuesday Book Club, which I confess I still call it. JByrne, Marieke, and Ace are huddled around in a circle with Jackie Weaver and Peter Cundall and they are discussing American Psycho. Peter Cundall did not find the book to his liking. He shakes the book and says it’s about the most parasitical people on Earth, and he couldn’t find one bit of decent prose or anything of any value.

    They see out the end of the episode with tears in their eyes and holding hands.

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    Is someone dying? Is The Book Club dying? Is this the last regular episode ever? It can’t be, they wouldn’t be so cruel to do a final episode without giving us advanced notice to stock up on wine and tissues. They’d let us know in advance so that we can appreciate and savour the final season. They’re not monsters. You always have to advertise that it’s the GRIPPING final season to really get the viewers in. Deep breath. They’re just emotional from a really good book. Breathe, Robin, just breathe.

    It’s been fun. You can relieve the entire season through my recaps and also look at my highlights of the entire season. Or watch past episodes on ABC iView. I love you all and don’t be a stranger. Do drop in from time to time to get updates on my release of Confessions of a Mad Mooer, my recap of my time in a psychiatric hospital with postnatal depression.

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    The Book Club ABC, Season 10, 5 Top 5s: #bookclubABC

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    Well it’s happened. The Book Club ABC’s 10th season has come to an end. It was glorious! I for one have never felt so exhilarated by a season. So let’s reminisce about some of the best things we experienced this season with my 5 of 5, before I can bring myself to write the final recap of the season. I need time to grieve.

    The Five Best Episodes:

    1. Episode 7 Gaudy Biatches. The biatches were flying thick and fast and Toni Jordan and Virginia Gay became bffs. Michael Williams had the flu so was extra bitter. Heaven.

    2. Episode 1 Wuthering Loins. Teenage JByrne came out to play as she lusted after Heathcliff but Marieke was having none of her shit.

    3. Episode 11 An Extra 13 Stories of Hatred. Gorgi Coghlan possibly needed therapy after being forced through the classic text.

    4. Episode 12 The Sexy Plague. Ace and JByrne reckon plot doesn’t matter, mood matters… a mood so sexy you’d risk the plague to get a packet of frangers.

    5. Episode 5 A Titanorak By Any Other Name. Rosie Waterland lost her shit because she loves the Titanic so much.

    6… yeah, I broke my own rules. I’m a rebel. Episode 9 The Naked Elephant Returns. Marieke wants to join a whaling ship and BLaw’s ankles are completely naked.

    The Five Best Moments:

    1. In episode 7 Marieke Hardy called the characters in Gaudy Night a bunch of “disparaging biatches” and Virginia Gay in turn said maybe Marieke was the disparaging biatch. If you play it in slow motion you can see when Toni Jordan’s heart literally breaks as Marieke savages her favourite book.

    2. JByrne referenced BLaws ankles in episode 9 and how wild they had driven the viewers. She listens to us!!!

    3. In the very first episode of the season JByrne screamed, “but can you imagine having sex with him?” in regards to Wuthering Heights‘ Heathcliff. Marieke threw up in her mouth a little because she hated the book, apart from the vaguely amusing dog attacks. Meanwhile an erotic montage of all the actors who have played Heathcliff over the years, appeared above Virginia’s head to the soundtrack of Kate Bush’s famous track.

    4. Toni Jordan’s socks. Oh those heavenly socks. Toni Jordan had listened to what the people wanted, more ankle related coverage, and wore glorious library card socks in episode 11. She truly is the people’s panelist. I have even started a pinterest board dedicated to her ankles.

    5. Virginia Gay broke protocol in episode 7 and squealed “me to,” when Toni Jordan did the initial introduction to Gaudy Night by Dorothy L Sayers. She was then locked under JByrne’s stairs and forced to wear muted footwear for daring to talk out of order, until the final episode. Worth it.

    6. Gorgi Coghlan said that Wake in Fright gave her an anxiety attack and she cursed JByrne for her ever having to read it. I love that a panelist was so affected by a book that they cursed JByrne’s holy name. You NEED to get her back on. Marieke said a book inducing an anxiety attack was high praise for the writing.

    The Five Best Books:

    1. The North Water by Ian McGuire. It made Marieke want to join a ship and stab someone.

    2. LaRose by Louise Erdrich. It was so good that Virginia Gay literally kissed the book. No tongue or anything. And such a gorgeous premise.

    3. Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie. Not only did it challenge concepts of gender and humanity in the novel but it also carried on into the panelists’ real lives. It made them question how they thought about others and their own subconscious bias.

    4. Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis. Hilarious tale about an out of place academic lecturing in history who ends up getting drunk and making a speech.  It’s fun, it’s witty, it’s just too good.

    5. “Arseholes at Night” by Kent Haruf. That’s what I heard when JByrne said the title. Apparently it’s actually Our Souls at Night. This book made Marieke cry.

    6. An Isolated Incident by Emily Maguire. It made the male panelists go all #notallmen. Which means you know it must be quite challenging to patriarchal thinking and therefore a valuable read. We need to value the experiences of the “other.”

    The Five Best Guests:

    1. Virginia Gay. Actress extraordinaire and passionate book lover. She wasn’t afraid to say when she loved a book. Her looks of utter horror when fellow panelists didn’t share her passion were priceless.

    2. Michael Williams. Director of The Wheeler Centre. His snarky comments and insights into the book industry, and not just the books, were delicious.

    3. Toni Jordan. Novelist of goodness. In her first appearance of the season she was so sweet and loving. Marieke then crushed her soul. A new Toni returned, one that had built a whole new level of hatred and laughed at the cruelty inflicted on protagonists. Her character development was sublime. Someone should write a novel about it.

    4. C S Pacat. Fantasy author of the people and for the people. Brilliantly articulate.  Able to back up all her insights with reference to classic literature. She was like a modern day, gangster, Shakespeare.

    5. Margaret Pomeranz. She’s the queen. End of story.

    6. BLaws ankles. Oh myyyyyyyyy.

    The Five Best Future Guests:

    This is the bit where I get to go into the realm of fantasy and pretend I’m a producer.

    1. Walter Mason. Author of Destination Saigon and Destination Cambodia. Writing teacher. Inspirational guru of fabulosity. I would go watch this man clean his toenails because he would somehow make it interesting.

    2. I’m going to cheat. I’d like to see a father daughter combo. John and Kitty Flanagan. Yeah, I bet some of you were surprised that comedian Kitty wasn’t in my top 5 guests, I’ve cheated by putting her in here so I could get an extra extra one in that category. It was hard. I wanted to choose every guest. John Flanagan is the author of the extraordinarily popular Ranger’s Apprentice series for those wanting to know.

    3. Laura Jean McKay. An author who says muses aren’t dead because they never existed. She would no doubt say something controversial and funny.

    4. Speaking of funny, Steven Oliver. I can just imagine him responding to Jason’s analysis with, “What’s this then, Slut?” It needs to happen!

    5. Kaz Cooke. She knows what The Book Club ABC is all about, pyjamas and wine. She’d sit there in some glorious fluffy slippers, sipping away at a chardonnay and tell it like it is.

    6. Robin Elizabeth. In fact, fuck those other fucks. Me, me, me! Nobody knows more about reading on the toilet than me. Plus, you put up a clip of me asking you a question about Sally Morgan’s My Place last year. It was under my “real” name, Robin Riedstra. You said it was a good question, JByrne.

    “JENNIFER BYRNE: Actually, just like to drop in here. There’s a video comment which goes to that. Her name is Robin Riedstra and this is what she said.

    ROBIN RIEDSTRA: Hi, I’m Robin. When I first read Sally Morgan’s My Place I found it really accessible and it made me want to read more and more texts in that genre. But other people have criticised it as being too accessible and so that once people had read that they felt they knew the Indigenous story and didn’t need to read any more. What are your thoughts on the matter?

    JENNIFER BYRNE: I thought that was a really good question, actually. I mean, because you read it and… It’s got these three stories within the story of the mother and the grandmother and the grandmother’s brother, all of whom talk about how they were stolen from the family. And you read that and you feel that you’re across this idea.”

    See, I can be insightful, I just know I can do it again. You and me JByrne, all the way. Forget those other clowns. Pick me.

    Well, until the Christmas Special, I bid The Book Club ABC adieu. The rest of you can find me lurking around here on my blog. I’ll be doing Robinpedia entries for Australian authors who don’t  have Wikipedia entries yet. A fact I plan to remedy once I learn how to do the appropriate coding to create new pages with the correct layout and referencing. I’ve already experimented by adding a little to Virginia Gay and BLaw’s Wikipedia entries.

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    See, I know real stuff too. I added the Calamity Jane stuff, not just “ape shit.”

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    And do keep an eye out for the release of my book Confessions of a Mad Mooer which recaps my time in the psychiatric hospital with postnatal depression. I’ll blog about it closer to the release in December.

    Don’t you, forget about me.

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    And yes. I’ll put out the recap of the season final soon… just let me finish crying first…. here it is.

    ABC Book Club Season 10 Episode 11 #bookclubABC

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    I’m feeling a little emotional heading into this episode. It’s the second last one of the season and I’m not ready to move on with my life. Plus The Book Club ABC Facebook and twitter accounts keep referring to next week as the FINAL. They’re not saying season final. What does that mean? After ten years are they calling it quits? I haven’t even created a generic drinking game yet. It’s too soon. Don’t turn your back on me now. But I shall shove my feelings of desperation and paranoia down into my rainbow toe-socked toes and give you the recap that you deserve. The recap I deserve. The recap that Jason Steger deseves, darn it.

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    Also, usual warning, I’m dyslexic so things will get messy.

    The episode begins. JByrne is of course glowing and the stage is looking unusually full… They’ve got three guests again. Yes! If you’ll recall, during episode 7 of this season they had three guests and it was the best episode ever, in the history of Book Club, in the history of television, in the history of EVERS!!! Do check it out if you haven’t yet had the pleasure. And OMG OMG OMG, have they brought back that same winning team from episode 7? Michael Williams, check. Toni Jordan, check. The divine goddess that is Virginia Gay, cheeeee… WTF? They’ve pulled a swift one on me. That’s not my Virginia! It’s Gorgi Coghlan. Sure she’s tall and she’s wearing fabulous shoes but you can’t fool me… they have a different hair colour. I’m not sure how I feel about this. My husband thinks she’s super sexy but that doesn’t necessarily make her a bad person. We shall wait to see how she goes… but I have my side eye at the ready.

    First off, JByrne does the house keeping-
    She tells us that this evenings new novel, The Course of Love by Alain De Botton, poses one of life’s hardest questions, “How do you make love last.” It’s hyperbolic but I’ll allow it.
    For the classic Jason has chosen Wake in Fright by Kenneth Cook. Jason tends to like things British and full of sex. This is an Australian text, as such we can assume it has double the sex.
    New releases are mentioned. Of most excitement to this mother of three is that Andy Griffiths has added another 13 stories to his tree house. Bring on #LoveOzKidLit.
    JByrne then hands over to Michael for news on the festival front. Michael says you can’t throw a rock without hitting a writers’ festival at the moment so there’s no excuse not to go to one. JByrne asks Michael if he’s going to any. He is coy with his answer. He’s possibly concerned that if he reveals his exact movements some semi-crazed, frizzy-haired, ginger, hack, will launch herself at him screaming, “I love you.” I hear that happened to him once…

    Now let’s get down to business, the business of love. And you know it’s business time because I’ve got my business socks on. #sockwatch JByrne calls The Course of Love a sequel twenty years in the making. And then the dramatic recreation is played. Thankfully no whale murder this week but I’m pretty sure I found Waldo, so that’s nice.

    The question, is De Botton (you know what my phone wants to auto correct this to) brilliant or a pop philosopher stating the bleeding obvious, is posed. Marieke says brilliant. She loved it. And says that love and relationships are worth examining and that she loves to discuss this kind of stuff all the time. Marieke says that reading The Course of Love is like having dinner at her place. This is a softer side to Marieke that I wasn’t expecting.  I like it. Byrne says that dinner with Marieke is much better than reading that flipping book. I suspect she’s not a fan of De Botton.

    Jason calls it banal, obvious and only occasionally insightful. Michael says not to forget smug.

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    Sheebers, JByrne, Jason, and Michael all refusing to get on the love train with Marieke. I’d almost feel sorry for her being outnumbered but tender hearted Toni is here and she loves love. In fact episode 7 was all about her love of love.

    My bad, Toni says she “loathed” The Course of Love to “a whole new level.” Looks like Andy Griffiths isn’t the only one adding levels to his tree house, Toni added one just of pure, unadulterated, hatred. Marieke suggests that perhaps Toni hated the book because she hates love. Oh, how the tables have turned. It’s like they’ve reversed characters from episode 7.

    Toni wants to know what’s loves got to do, got to do, got to do with it? She didn’t like it because stories should be magical and take you on a journey and De Botton took her nowhere of magic. Come on De Botton, why won’t you take Toni to funky town? JByrne doesn’t like this sentiment at all. She hated the book but is all like, *calm your farm, Toni, what gives you the right to say what a story must be?* And then Toni is all like *me, I give me that right. That book was non fiction and you know it, Byrne.* Fight, fight, fight! Jason leaps in and backs Toni up saying it didn’t work as a novel. It’s JByrne, Jason, Michael, and Toni against Marieke, AND JByrne against Toni. It’s a madhouse.

    Gorgi steps forward, metaphorically only because she is literally sitting, and says that she found The Course of Love soul expanding. SOUL EXPANDING.  Now that’s a recommendation. She then says that it is the modern version of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and it’s wise. There’s something wrong with that statement, I’m not sure how I feel about Men are from Mars and wise being used so closely together but I don’t have time to examine my thoughts around this because there is action happening all over the place.

    Gorgi says the book recommends that instead of asking how people met we should be asking them how they stayed together. Oh my god, that’s so profound, I really want to read this book. Gorgi says that the book is about damage and how we as people are damaged and how do we cope with our damage and other people’s damage. That does seem worthy of exploration and beautiful. Let’s be honest, aren’t we all just damaged people getting about trying not to hurt others or ourselves further and constantly snagging our broken bits against others unintentionally? Or is that just me who feels utterly broken? I want to read this book. Please don’t tell Toni Jordan, because I want her to think I’m totes-mega-cool.

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    Michael is having none of this profoundity and says the characters were generic  and more like case studies and he wanted more from fiction. And doesn’t he deserve more? Where are the believable characters, Botton? Give Michael Williams all of his dimensions! Jason also found it more like a case study and found the italicised annotations super annoying. He felt they were too overtly, look at me I’m so clever.

    Jason then says he hates to bring up sex, which is news to everyone because we all thought that was his thing. If he’s not bringing the sex to book club then who the heck is? But apparently the oral sex scene on the plane didn’t work for him.

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    My mind is racing as to exactly why he knows it’s so objectionable, and exactly how he gained his expertise in mile high encounters of the sexy kind, so much so that I miss what is said next. I apologise. The next thing I hear is that Gorgi loved it and gave it to countless friends. Toni did not give it to friends. she felt like she was going to get exam questions at the end. Ewww.

    JByrne says although she hated the book she did love the bit on sulking. Everyone agrees that the sulking bit was good. Marieke, proving that she is nothing if not gracious, says that she thinks the criticisms being made were fair but she loved it anyway and couldn’t wait to discuss it with her boyfriend over dinner. A high pitched squeal can be heard followed by the screeching of tires.

    Jason asks at what stage in a relationship should one read this book. Michael says give it to couples contemplating their first trip to IKEA together. I for one salute our IKEA overlords and welcome any free products they were previously considering sending Michael. I’ve got a five year old and two year old twins so I can never have enough storage.

    Now it’s time to focus on the most important part of The Book Club ABC, #sockwatch. JByrne hasn’t been able to keep her eyes off Toni’s ankle region. She is wearing glorious yellow library card socks. Toni says she did it for the #sockwatch people. She likes us, she really likes us. Michael sits quietly undetected by JByrne, but I see all, he is wearing white and blue stripped socks with a festive red heel. n

    JByrne moves onto By the Bed where the panelists reveal what’s on their bedside table and I fantasise about Jason’s bedroom.

    Michael is reading Ben Pobjie’s Error Australis. It’s the history of Australia written in TV recap form. How meta of me to recap about Australia’s most prominent recapper. I might just disappear up the existential chasm that is this metaphysical quandary right after I type this sentence… Nope, still here.
    Gorgi is reading The Last Painting of Sara DeVos which was discussed on a previous episode.
    Toni is reading Fine by Michelle Wright who is her student and says it is at least 500% more profound than De Botton. And transported her to magic town plenty. Plenty!

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    Onto the classic. JByrne says it’s an alcoholic, SEXUAL, nightmare and then asks, “Why’d you pick it Jace?” I like that, Jace, it’s sexy. I think I’ll use Jace the Ace from now on rather than Jason Stegersaurussex.

    Ace claims he liked Wake in Fright because it picked up the difference between small towns and the city beautifully and that it was short, NOT because of the sexing. Michael supports Ace, and says that he loves that it’s about the typical Australian theme of belonging. that Wake in Fright examines the divisions in life. City/Country, money/no money, education/ no education. Marieke loved the sense of place and the imagery.

    Gorgi hated it. She found it torturous to read. I think she might actually hate JByrne a little for making her read it. Don’t break up the sisterhood, Gorgi, blame Ace instead. She says that she had a mild panic attack during the kangaroo hunt.

    Toni offers Gorgi some comfort and says she hated it the first time she read it but this time she found it funny. Michael agrees that it was funny. The pair giggle like naughty school kids. Toni loved the awful things that happened to the main character because he deserved it. Marieke says he brought about his own downfall and that she loved everything that Gorgi hated about it and considers causing an anxiety attack high praise.

    Ace starts talking about Robyn in the cotton dress. Does he mean Robyn or Robin. I shall pretend he’s sending a secret message to me. Wear more clothes from Cotton On, got it loud and clear!

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    And now they’re showing pictures of people’s book clubs. Alcohol is the clear winner in book clubs.

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    And it’s over. One more episode to go. I’m not crying, I’ve just got a weeping angel stuck in my eye. But hey, next week we are graced with the iconic Margaret Pomeranz and our favourite Book Clubber VIRGINIA GAY! So there is some good news… sobs quietly in corner…. also, not to be childish… but when JByrne said they are doing Our Souls at Night it sounded like “Arseholes at Night.” There, I said it, everybody was thinking it, but I said it and I don’t regret it.

    Read my last recap here.

    View previous episodes on iView here.