Tag Archives: Horoscope

Watch Out, Goats About: Year of the Goat

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funnymountain-goat-with-kid-0

If you like me were born in the year of the Goat you’ve probably been looking forward to 2015. Year of the Goat is supposed to be lucky for Goats right? Wrong! Well, usually it is lucky but apparently this particular year of the Goat is the “Mega Bad Year” for Goats. Pretty sure that’s the technical name for it. Sucks to be us. Instead of all our dreams coming true the gates of heck are supposed to open and rain poop down upon us. Not fair! As goats we already have a tendency to be a little insecure and sulky, add to that our special year being replaced by a crap stick and it has many of us heading for the hills, or at least our blanket forts.

 

Well nuts to that I say. Let’s take that Billy Goat by the horns and take back our birth right. Okay, our negatives are going to be magnified but that doesn’t change the fact that all our positives are also strengthened this year. So the way I see it we have two choices, try to supress our negatives with all our might in order to side step the “Mega Bad Year’s” impact, OR, try to highlight our good qualities so much that we can still be self-indulgent, ingrates because we’ve created such a cushion of good stuff around us that we’ve got some leeway. Or of course the there is a third and fourth option, just freak out, fall in a heap and cry bitter tears as you watch the year slip away, OR, ignore it, it’s a bunch of superstitious nonsense anyway. Three and four are pretty easy to manage without much direction from me, although when it comes to self-sabotage I happen to be one of the best so can definitely provide tips on three for anyone needing them, so I’ll stick to options one and two.

 

Suppression

Essentially the bad traits of the Goat are said to be prissiness, hedonism, dependence, moodiness, anxiety, and ingratitude. Sounds pretty shitty right. Not exactly the poster child of who you want to be or who you want to be friends with. Again, sucks to be us. Non Goats reading this are possibly thinking what a bunch of bastards, to them I say try to be kind, we’re the ones who have to live with these demons swirling around inside of us. So in order to supress these negative traits try looking at all these aspects and set yourself goals in the opposite direction. With that I don’t mean, ‘Don’t be a prissy little princess.’ No need to be mean to yourself. Try to be positive, after all, we’re trying to defeat the “Mega Bad Year” so enough with the negativity. I suggest phrasing things in a positive way, instead of listing the negative state the opposite and make it a goal. Write it up, stick it on your fridge, computer screen, wallet, whatever.

Eg

Be accepting, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

I am happy with what I have, enough is as good as a feast.

I am the master of my own destiny, I think I can, I know I can.

Adversity is just a lesson waiting to become a positive, every cloud has a silver lining.

I am a worthy person, confidence is King.

I am thankful for all the good things that are in my life.

 

Highlight

So you don’t have the iron will that would allow you to keep those insecurities and doubts from bubbling over. You like new shoes, you can never have too many types of tea in your house, yes you do need another pair of jeans in a slightly different colour damn it! Well don’t worry your goaty little head about it, you’ve got a lot of good qualities so really highlight them this year. Make sure you’re maximising your charms, and you have many of them, so that you can still pamper yourself and call everyone about you a bunch of bastards. It’s okay, I’m on your side, I’m one of you. Now apparently our positive characteristics are creativity, refinement, compassion, empathy, intelligence, and thoughtfulness. Dang we’re awesome! Such beautiful, kind people. I love us. We’re the best. If we really concentrate on working hard, and letting our talents shine then we surely have the opportunity to buy a few extra pairs of sunglasses, and go to the odd ridiculously expensive restaurant right? So hit the Chinese New Year (Feb 19) running. Get yourself organised so that your good characteristics are really in order. Maximise the goodness in you. You’re creative, smart and sensitive. Utilise these gifts. Pick your creative goal, whether it be music, painting, writing, photography, sewing etc, just pick it. Now focus that beautiful brain of your on how to achieve your goal. Write up a plan, a weekly plan, daily plan, monthly plan. Whatever you need to keep you on the straight and level for achieving your goal. For a writer wanting to finish a novel they could come up with a plan of writing 500 words a day, easy. Of course they need to do other things to support that plan, maybe think of a household chore schedule, plan dinners a week in advance, take the thinking out of the mundane so that they get done on rote without thinking leaving you to focus on your creativity. If you wish to learn a new instrument, it could be as simple as half an hour a day, but again coming up with a plan that takes care of the mundane to allow that to happen. You have to eat and live right? So take care of yourself, plan yourself into success. Focus on your gifts and shine, and when your bad aspects rear their ugly heads it’s okay because you’re already so far ahead with your dreams that a little set back every now and then doesn’t matter long term. Live long and prosper.

 

I’d like to take this moment to mention that I am in no way trained in Astrology or in life coaching. If you want really good info on Chinese Astrology use Doctor Google to find you an expert, if you want good tips on how to improve your life in 2015 then seek out a trained psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker or life coach.

 

For those wondering why I have barely posted of late, my phone got stolen. Sigh. I did all my WordPressing through my phone so the loss has slowed me somewhat. I have got a replacement but it is quite old and the WordPress ap on it is not official, as there is not an official ap for that platform so is not exactly awesome for the updates. In the meantime I have been working on a saucy piece of chick lit. Yes, you heard me, saucy. I’ll be hitting the Year of the Goat running, 10,000 words in and loving it. I shall be able to put it onto my shelf with my two Chloe Prime novels and my Memoir that I have completed over the past three years. Hopefully publication will find its way into my life in the Year of the Goat. I hope all our dreams come true this year, even the non-Goats but especially my fellow Goaties and my much adored Rabbits and Snakes. Love to my husband and three babies. XooX

 

Geekdiac… Geekoscope… Speculadiac?

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April’s Geekdiac.

Drages (March 21- April 19)
You come across a rare treasure this month, a person, place or thing. Only one thing a reasonable Drages can do, drag it back to their cave and keep it there too themselves for evermore… until some filthy hobbit comes and takes it from you.

Lyconus (April 20- May 20)
Your sense of smell is heightened this week. Citrus flavours are driving you wild. Perhaps getting a lovely vase of limes is in order… or just tequila slammers, I don’t know you, you tell me.

Alienni (May 21- June 20)
You are as always stunningly beautiful this month. Always are, always will be. Just keep being adorable you and everyone will adore you. Please go take the time out of your busy schedule of being amazing to vote for either “Write or Wrong” or “Chloe Prime: Alien Space Vet” on http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013

Sither (June 21- Jul 22)
You’re bowels aren’t quite up to scratch this month. Try regular viewing of “Doctor Who” in order to get things flowing again. A regular dose of The Doctor keeps the other doctors away. Seriously, it’s looking like a return to Sci Fi from a long stint in Magic Realism, you’ll love it!

Timeo (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Voting for “Write or Wrong” on http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013 will fill you with a sense of karmic joy for this month. Just click the link, go to the W’s then vote for Write or Wong. Go on, you know you must. You’ll walk on a cloud of dreams and feel refreshed and fantastic. If you don’t you’ll have an unfortunate accident on the toilet. You’ll try to tell people about it but they’ll just laugh because it happened on a toilet. Do yourself a favour and vote.

Vampirgo (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant Sith will jump out of your cupboard and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on https://www.facebook.com/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet?ref=hl#!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month. Seriously go like it.

Captaira (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You feel like you’re in a constant state of attack. Let your deflector shields down and breath in some fresh air. Rejoice and read The Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) , that will fuel you with childlike wonder.

Ewokorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? C3PO! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do! Seriously go make me a picture! I expect to see it posted by the end of the month!

Gallifrius (Nov 22- Dec21)
You’re feeling a little cursed this month. Cursed with good looks and charm. Yeah you are! Grrrrrr. Lucky you. Bring some of your luck to Chloe Prime: Alien Space Vet and vote for it here http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013 PLEASE!!!!

Warricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Have you stocked up on knitted sweater vests? Maybe you should. They’re probably going to be coming in again. You can make them work.

Magus (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.

Jedes (Feb 19- March 20)
The force is strong in you this month. Use it for good, not evil. No more Dutch-ovening people okay. I’m serious, it isn’t funny.

December Whodiac

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Written for https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doctor-Who-Fans-Against-Bullying-Admins/261964893859032?ref=hl

Zomies (March 21- April 19)
Only a mere few weeks until Armageddon! What will you do? The Doctor does not seem to be calling on you. In fact you haven’t caught sight of him for ages. Time to take matters into your own hands. Solve the Mayan prophecy and save us all.

Chelomiaus (April 20- May 20)
You’re feeling totally cleansed this month. Like a burden has been lifted from your bowels. Don’t get too cocky. Now is not the time to mix fish fingers and custard

Florani (May 21- June 20)
You’re having issues with timing this month. Everything seems to be happening around you, some stuff you’re early for but some stuff you’re late for. Only one solution. Live online.

Kletchoner (June 21- Jul 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant dalek will jump out of a Christmas tree and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on https://www.facebook.com/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet?ref=hl#!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month.

Apalapuciao (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Your confusion over evolution continues this month. Where did we really come from, who are we, and who are you? You begin sculpting TARDISes in mashed potato in the hope of attracting a passing Timelord.

Biblioso (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Christmas approaches. Money does not. Don’t worry; try your hand at handy crafts. Make some Daleks out of old toilet rolls, a TARDIS out of an old shoe box. People will love your Who wares.

Althracra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are missing fresh Who big time. You crave action and adventure. You crave stimulation… but not from real life, ewww you it might make you sweat. Grossies! You read the Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) ah, that hit the right spot.

Laborio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? The Doctor! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do!

Persisius (Nov 22- Dec21)
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over a candle stick. Why? To get to the hottie on the other side. Perhaps it’s time you released your inner Captain Jack.

Mechunuscorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Stock up on sausages. Trust me, it’s the new Christmas it food. You’re in serious danger of not being considered cool this holiday season so make sure you get lots and a good variety too.

Matravius (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.

Gallifres (Feb 19- March 20)
You watch last year’s Christmas special and makes you crave a simpler time of traditions. You look up good recipes for Christmas goose and traditional fare. Enjoy. Embrace the complexity of simplicity.

December Star Wardiac

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Kessies (March 21- April 19)
Only a mere few weeks until Armageddon! What will you do? The Jedis do not seem to be calling on you. In fact you haven’t caught sight of any for ages. Time to take matters into your own hands. Solve the Mayan prophecy and save us all.

Geonosus (April 20- May 20)
You’re feeling totally cleansed this month. Like a burden has been lifted from your bowels. Don’t get too cocky. Now is not the time to go on a drinking binge in a spacebar.

Yavinni (May 21- June 20)
You’re having issues with timing this month. Everything seems to be happening around you, some stuff you’re early for but some stuff you’re late for. Only one solution. Live online.

Utaper (June 21- Jul 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant Sith will jump out of a Christmas tree and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on https://www.facebook.com/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet?ref=hl#!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month.

Hotho (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Your confusion over evolution continues this month. Where did we really come from, who are we, who are you? You begin sculpting monkeys in mashed potato in the hope of inspiring an answer.

Tatooino (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Christmas approaches. Money does not. Don’t worry; try your hand at handy crafts. Make some Droids out of old toilet rolls, a Carbon Freezing unit out of an old shoe box. People will love your War Wares.

Sullustra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are missing fresh Star Wars big time. You crave action and adventure. You crave stimulation… but not from real life, ewww you it might make you sweat. Grossies! You read the Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) ah, that hit the right spot.

Endorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? Princess Leia! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do!

Dagobahius (Nov 22- Dec21)
Han be nimble, Han be quick, Han jumped over a candle stick. Why? To get to the hottie on the other side. Perhaps it’s time you released your inner Han Solo.

Corellicorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Stock up on sausages. Trust me, it’s the new Christmas it food. You’re in serious danger of not being considered cool this holiday season so make sure you get lots and a good variety too.

Naboous (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.

Alderaanes (Feb 19- March 20)
You watch search out some Star Wars Christmas Specials on YouTube, it makes you crave a simpler time. You look up good recipes for Christmas goose and traditional fare. Enjoy. Embrace the complexity of simplicity.

Doctor Whodiac

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For those of you who love Timelords and need more out of your horoscopes. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doctor-Who-Fans-Against-Bullying-Admins/261964893859032?ref=hl

WOBIN’S WHODIAC – November

 

Zomies (March 21- April 19)

You hear a rumour that the apocalypse is approaching. You start buying canned goods and large bags of ice to keep your milk cold. Your neighbours think you’re crazy but you’ll soon show them.

 

Chelomiaus (April 20- May 20)

Beans are not your friend this week. Gas is moving across Uranus so it’s best to stick to leafy greens and plenty of water.

 

Florani (May 21- June 20)

You can’t seem to escape politics. Every time you pick up a newspaper, magazine, turn on the radio or TV, politicians are banging on. They make no sense to you. You watch Terry Jones’s Brazil, it makes more sense.

 

Kletchoner (June 21- Jul 22)

You spend your time looking up comedy sketches of Doctor Who. Unfortunately every second clip you find is a dog licking its owner’s foot.

 

Apalapuciao (Jul 23- Aug 22)

You do some research on evolution. Hoping to track down exactly what point monkeys turned into apes. Sadly you find out that humans didn’t come from Neanderthals, we killed them.

 

Biblioso (Aug 23- Sept 22)

Avoid dairy products. You have a curdling touch this month so may find dairy to be quite upsetting on the tum tum.

 

Althracra (Sept 23- Oct 22)

You think about sending candid photos of yourself to the Moffinator in order to get on Who. Don’t do it, he’ll take out a restraining order.

 

 

Laborio (Oct 23- Nov 21)

You read that Disney bought Star Wars. You bitterly wish they’d buy Who so that you could go to Who Land. You read the Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) and it refills you with childlike wonder.

 

Persisius (Nov 22- Dec21)

How many chucks would a wood chuck cuck? Who cares? It’s like forever until the Christmas special and you’re in a mood. Try candle making.

 

Mechunuscorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)

You think that your neighbour is Timelord so camp out and watch him all day long. You havecameras on him at all times and tap his phone. Knock knock knock. Who’s there? THE POLICE

 

Matravius (Jan 20- Feb 18)

You can’t stop thinking about cake. Your loved ones try to communicate with you but all you can think of is cake. Go on, have a slice of cake. What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Gallifres (Feb 19- March 20)

Your creative juices are flowing. You sign up for NaNoWriMo with the plan of writing Ewok/Doctor Who crossover fan fiction. Winners are grinners.