Drages (March 21- April 19)
You come across a rare treasure this month, a person, place or thing. Only one thing a reasonable Drages can do, drag it back to their cave and keep it there too themselves for evermore… until some filthy hobbit comes and takes it from you.
Lyconus (April 20- May 20)
Your sense of smell is heightened this week. Citrus flavours are driving you wild. Perhaps getting a lovely vase of limes is in order… or just tequila slammers, I don’t know you, you tell me.
Alienni (May 21- June 20)
You are as always stunningly beautiful this month. Always are, always will be. Just keep being adorable you and everyone will adore you. Please go take the time out of your busy schedule of being amazing to vote for either “Write or Wrong” or “Chloe Prime: Alien Space Vet” on http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013
Sither (June 21- Jul 22)
You’re bowels aren’t quite up to scratch this month. Try regular viewing of “Doctor Who” in order to get things flowing again. A regular dose of The Doctor keeps the other doctors away. Seriously, it’s looking like a return to Sci Fi from a long stint in Magic Realism, you’ll love it!
Timeo (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Voting for “Write or Wrong” on http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013 will fill you with a sense of karmic joy for this month. Just click the link, go to the W’s then vote for Write or Wong. Go on, you know you must. You’ll walk on a cloud of dreams and feel refreshed and fantastic. If you don’t you’ll have an unfortunate accident on the toilet. You’ll try to tell people about it but they’ll just laugh because it happened on a toilet. Do yourself a favour and vote.
Vampirgo (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant Sith will jump out of your cupboard and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on https://www.facebook.com/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet?ref=hl#!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month. Seriously go like it.
Captaira (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You feel like you’re in a constant state of attack. Let your deflector shields down and breath in some fresh air. Rejoice and read The Chloe Prime Diaries (http://chloeprimealienspacevet.com) , that will fuel you with childlike wonder.
Ewokorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? C3PO! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do! Seriously go make me a picture! I expect to see it posted by the end of the month!
Gallifrius (Nov 22- Dec21)
You’re feeling a little cursed this month. Cursed with good looks and charm. Yeah you are! Grrrrrr. Lucky you. Bring some of your luck to Chloe Prime: Alien Space Vet and vote for it here http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2013 PLEASE!!!!
Warricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Have you stocked up on knitted sweater vests? Maybe you should. They’re probably going to be coming in again. You can make them work.
Magus (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.
Jedes (Feb 19- March 20)
The force is strong in you this month. Use it for good, not evil. No more Dutch-ovening people okay. I’m serious, it isn’t funny.