Tag Archives: allergic reaction

Honker Honker #scrub

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To the gentleman who so sweetly honked at me and screamed, “nice arse,” as I walked to the shops today,

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Firstly I’d like to say thank you for taking time out from your busy schedule to compliment me. You no doubt were in a rush to chug some VB cans followed by crushing them on your forehead so did not have time to stop and speak to me in a more lengthy manner. I am just sure from the brief insight I got into your vocab that we would be the firmest of friends. I am of course flattered that you did look upon my visage and find it both pleasing and provocative. I do have a fantastic rump and it is always lovely to have a compliment applied directly to my rear. I certainly had gone to the extra effort of pulling my unbrushed hair up into a mum-bun, so it was nice that it didn’t go unnoticed. And right back at you, your shaved head with a rats tail is a visual treat that I don’t oft get since I moved to the city. It did make me sick for my childhood home in the country. Ah memories, thanks so much for that.

Secondly, it would be a lie if I said I didn’t feel that deep personal connection, that drove you to honk at me, too. Gosh, before I even turned to hear your dulcet tone float from your mouth unto my happy ears I could feel your presence. The thrumm of your engine filled myself, and no doubt the whole street, with excitement. Why my flesh was covered with goose bumps and the hairs on the back of my neck did  stand on attention before you even honked. I felt it too. There is a bond between you and I. My panties nearly ran screaming from my body with your first toot, and then on your second, well I’m surprised they didn’t simply errupt into flames.

Thirdly, I hope you don’t think me rude for not responding to your compliment. You unfortunately drove off so quickly, and with such a loud screech of burning rubber, that I could not respond at the time.

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You were to quick for my frail girly brain to respond. I must admit that the loud screech did scatter my silly brain because my fragile lady nerves were in tatters. Afterwards I did of course consider giving chase to your vehicle so I could tell you about all the feelings burning inside me, but it would not become a lady to chase men on the streets, despite this being true love and all. Plus, I had to buy tampons.

Which leads me to fourthly. Alas, our love is not to be. Unfortunately I’m married with three kids. Hush, don’t apologise. How were you to know that your soul mate had already taken another lover and bore his children? I had left hastily after washing up bottles and had thoughtlessly left my wedding ring on the kitchen bench. There is no way you could have known another man had already stamped his ownership upon me. And obviously it’s my own damned impatient fault for not waiting for you to drive into my life. Damn me and my wandering eye. I should have waited. But again, my silly girl brain could think of nothing else but having babies after I turned thirty. So please, forgive me, but we can never be. If I were but single I’m ardently sure that it would be on like Donkey Kong, but alas, I am not. We must resist our urges and maintain a distance. Don’t honk me again because I do not know if I could resist your seductive charms a second time. My children need me, please don’t tear my family apart.

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Farewell forever

Your soul mate

Robin

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Why All Allergy Sufferers Should Boycott KFC

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Hello,

My name is Robin and I am allergic to chili. In my younger years my allergic reaction was so mild that it went unnoticed and was simply passed off as a dislike for chili. In my 30s it has progressed to the point where even mild seasoning that contains chili immediately results in me becoming covered in sweat, followed soon after by vomiting and migraines. The after effects can last days and I have been hospitalized with severe gastritis as a result of the acidic build up. As such, whenever I eat out I always, ALWAYS, ask if the food has chili. If it does I either order something else or the restaurant / café generally want to help out and modify to remove the chili. Because they are devent human beings that want to treat their customers with dignity and respect. This is not the case at KFC. At KFC the store staff refuse to answer me. I have contacted them via email, this was there response :

Unfortunately I am unable to answer your question with specific information given the formulation is proprietary.

So there you have it. They don’t actually care if you eat food that you’re allergic too. They couldn’t give a shit. Now obviously I am not going to eat there. They were good enough to let me know that their chip seasoning has chili. I am aware that often things get cooked in the same oil and therefore everything would be contaminated. Gluten intolerant people understand this concept all too well.

KFC have an allergy fact sheet, it applies to gluten, seafood, peanuts, and dairy. The well known allergies. Apparently if you have a high profile allergy they’re willing to put on a display that they care but if it is uncommon they won’t budge. Evidently it is a publicity stunt not because they don’t want someone to eat something that they are allergic too.

So I would urge all allergy sufferers to rethink eating any KFC products as quite frankly they don’t care if you get sick or not, they won’t let you know not to eat their products unless you have a well publicized allergy. Rewind twenty years before peanut allergy information was well known, this is what they would have done to you. Rewind fifteen years before gluten intolerance was well known,  this is what they would have done to you.

Please take a stand with your fellow allergy sufferers and say no. No KFC. And if you’re a friend of an allergy sufferer stand with them and say “the formulation is proprietary” is not an okay answer to give to someone. It might be legal for KFC to withhold information from people that can make them seriously ill but it is utterly ammoral. Not only that, it should be damn well illegal. It should be illegal to refuse to let someone know if you’re going to poison them. People have a right to know if you’re playing Russian Roulette with their life or not. Take a stand, freedom for allergy sufferers.

Thank you for your time.