Tag Archives: abuse

Reasons Why I Might Cancel Last Minute

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1. I might be exhausted. I’ve got 1 year old twins and a 4 year old. That’s wonderful but exhausting.

2. One of the three kids could be exploding with vomit. They love to share illness and when they’re sick they need mum.

3. My babysitter fell through.

4. I don’t feel comfortable going out at night. I haven’t felt safe being on my own at night since I was raped at 16. I really do make an effort to do things at night but it makes me physically ill each and every time. Don’t get mad at me for the times I don’t go, please be thankful for the times I do go because it is seriously a big fucking deal for me each and every time. And yes, I might be meeting you somewhere so you think I’m not out alone at night but the journey there and back is on my own. It doesn’t matter how you try to convince me that my fears are stupid they are still there. Generally I just say no straight out to evening events but I have been trying to expand my confidence. I can’t always get myself over that line. You want me over that line, then you need to walk with me over it. Simple.

5. You’ve invited me and my kids and the kids will be batshit crazy tired and angry and I just can’t put them through that.

Happy Survivors Day

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Happy Survivors Day

c6e612751bb8eb1bdc9413a1959b2edeI’d like to take this moment to recognize survivors of child abuse, and child neglect. Reading the constant barrage of friend’s FB updates thanking their mothers’ for being the world’s best must be like pouring salt in an open wound. Because you didn’t get to have that, and that makes you sad. You didn’t get a mum who protected you or could compromise to allow your needs to be met.

I’m here to tell you that you deserved that mum who was crazy about you. Who made you breakfast, who packed your lunch, who didn’t let anybody hurt you. You deserved a mum that believed you and believed in you. You deserved mum who didn’t nearly kill a sibling in front of your eyes by banging his head against a wall, you deserved a mother who didn’t punish you for vomiting, you deserved a mum who didn’t want to change the way you looked. You deserved better.

So please accept this cyber hug, OOO, it doesn’t make up for all those ones you missed as a kid but hopefully it helps and enough people share a hug with you to give you some peace.

So please, pass on this hug in recognition of survivors of neglect and abuse so that they get at least one hug and one unsalt wielding message on this day that is so painful for them.

You are special. You do deserve love.