On Wednesday I got told that I’m a draining person to speak to and that people avoid talking to me lest they be trapped in a long conversation and need to pack rations to prepare for the journey. It wasn’t from a friend, it was from a person in a position of authority at work. A person I had never met before. In half an hour he found me so irritating that he felt the need to let me know. It sent me into a pretty sad place, but thanks to copious amounts of therapy I’ve got coping strategies to deal with this kind of thing.
Being diagnosed with PND in 2014 and spending 4 weeks in a mums and bubs unit at a psychiatric hospital and the follow up therapy has helped me to deal with not just PND but a whole host of issues life can throw at you. Life can be hard, and I certainly didn’t think of my time there as positive back in 2014, but it has helped me do better and be better. If you need help, don’t be ashamed to seek professional help.
I turned my hard day on Wednesday into an opportunity to seek new job opportunities on Thursday. Today I secured a new job with a higher pay rate. I start on Tuesday. Ten years ago I would have just cried and built a blanket fort. Now I rise up. I’m proud of me. I asked former colleagues to be my referrees. They were all happy to do so. They were happy to do so because they like me, they believe in me, and they don’t think I’m draining. Ten years ago I would have been so demoralized that I wouldn’t have even dared ask them. I would have accepted that one person’s (and possibly a couple of other managers) opinion as factual and I would have fallen into the depths of despair. But now I know my own worth and I know far more people find me competent and engaging than don’t. The angry lies my brain tells me about myself, that I’m not good enough, can now be overcome. Now, I’m not perfect. I still got upset. I didn’t eat for over twenty four hours afterwards because my stomach was so upset. But it was just a little over twenty four hours. And in less than twenty four hours I had taken steps to better my situation. That’s progress.
So, tell me about your progress. What can you give yourself a pat on the back for today? Even if it’s small.
Also, just quietly, next time you’re in a meeting with a boss and it turns to shit, avenge me. Just yawn and say, “Ugh, you’re so draining. You need to work on your communication style.”