Those of you who also follow me on Twitter already know that I haven’t been feeling my best. I’m definitely not at my lowest but changing medications to try to get on top of my migraines and RLS has left me feeling subpar.
I know that I’m not that bad because when I get time to sit down and write it still comes readily. Even if I feel like total shit, the moment I open the Scrivener file my fingers start typing. When I am at my lowest I simply can’t access the things needed for writing. I’m just too empty.
On Friday I was quite teary. My medication had been increased the day before but it takes a couple of weeks before the increase works. And I thought that I was too upset and jittery to write. I looked at the clock and I only had thirty minutes until I had to pick my daughter up from school. This made me more upset. I’d gone a whole day without writing AND I’d had time to do it. It wasn’t because of being too busy with the kids, I just hadn’t. I felt hopeless and like a failure.
And then it hit me, my POV character hits a point where she is utterly shattered and feels like she’s an utter failure. I could write that scene. I use Scrivener so I can write out of order and easily slip it into place. And so I did just that. I opened up my Scrivener file for my WIP and just typed and cried. I did this for 25 minutes. At the end I had 950 words. That’s fast for me. Normally for novel writing it’s around 500 words in that time.
So good news, I’m still no where near my worst and feel much lighter. And maybe that idea might help somebody else? Maybe you’ve been holding off writing because you feel utterly shit? Try writing a scene where the POV character feels the same. They’ll be feeling broken for a different reason than you, but hopefully you can still use the shared feeling to get to the heart of the scene.
Good luck and happy writing.
Read about my thoughts on being a dyslexic writer here.
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If you or someone you know has postnatal depression you can find good resources on the following sites:
- Gidget Foundation http://gidgetfoundation.com.au/
- PANDA http://www.panda.org.au/
- PIRI http://www.piri.org.au/
- Black Dog Institute http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
- Lifeline https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Write or Wrong 
Thanks for sharing this Robin. I am going through a bit of a low myself and yesterday I just couldn’t bring myself to sit at the desk. I think you’re right, I do need to pick up one of the scenes where this feeling would be relevant.
If we’re going to feel like shit may as well get something positive out of it.
Talk about a fantastic life skill! Who *doesn’t* have shit days—and for those who get hit with them more often than the average, all the better to turn them brilliantly into inspiration. Does the double duty of getting some writing done and taking one’s mind off oneself temporarily. Well done!!!
Thanks for this, Robin. I recently went through a similar thing where I couldn’t write for maybe a month or more. I eventually realised I should be using the pain for my story/character, and now I’m writing again.
Glad you’re writing again. Sad that you’re not feeling awesome. Having a brain sucks sometimes.
I don’t where I’d be without writing. There are days when I don’t feel like starting, but I know my mood will lift after having written something. Anything!
Great advice to write with the mood, let it out in the POV character. Much better than my usual approach of plodding along from where the story left off.