First things first, last week was the best episode ever so this week has a lot to live up to. Secondly, I’m dyslexic, grammar nazis you have been warned, flee now if this shall be too much for you to tolerate.
Jennifer Byrne appears. I clap, I cheer, I woot, but very quietly because I don’t want to wake the kids. I can see that regulars Marieke Hardy and Jason Stegersaurussex are there, which is always lovely. Jennifer introduces her guests, Rosie Waterland, who lobbed a book grenade the last time she came resulting in literary carnage, so I’m quite excited to see what she’ll do tonight. And be still my beating loins, Michael Williams is back.
He is 36 and beautiful, not in that other worldly Kryptonian way, but in a more knock-around Fitzroy way. He is brunette and brunette at the roots. He is sitting, but only with the help of a chair. He is from Melbourne, in order for you to understand him you have to understand what that means. Melbourne is like Sydney 50 years ago, if Sydney was 50 years into the future 50 years ago. It’s cold and frosty, a real snowback city, which is why you go there, for the snowback people. In other words, it’s just like Sydney but a bit colder, with better food but weirder shoes. When everyone here is awake… everyone there is also awake, because we’re in the same time zone and the same country.
Michael is permitted by the Supreme Being, JByrne, to say he has chosen Love in a Cold Climate for the classic before the clubbers move onto discussing the modern text. We’ll all be unshocked when Jason likes it because it’s very British with sex in it.
The first novel to be discussed is Before the Fall by Noah Hawley. It’s a tale of the rich, the famous, and the soon to be dead. A dramatic recreation is shown…
Trust me, my version was just as good. Theirs had more moody music and mysterious questions, but mine cuts to the chase. Enough with the recreation, we all just want to know one thing, how did Titanorak Rosie feel about it? We know she loves ship crashes, are boat crashes close enough? Is the crash in and of itself enough or must there be a gigantic ship involved?
Rosie could not put it down. Question answered. She loves a good crash in the water, plane, train, or automobile, not just Titanics. Rosie points out how beautifully it’s structured to mimic a television show. Jason wanted more quirks. Michael appreciated it but felt there were too many episodic cliffhangers.
Marieke is a bit meh on Before the Fall. She calls it good but not great. And that it needed a good cut. Jason agrees that there are too many red herrings, and a few of those bad boys could have been cut. Marieke said cut the body building stuff. JByrne shrieks no. When Marieke asks why. JByrne’s blushes and I can’t hear her “reason” over the sound of her thumping heart.
Rosie liked the ending of this mystery, Jason did not. Michael said it was a “swift trick” and he found it satisfactory. JByrne thought it was a clever ending. She recommends reading it on the beach smothered in oil. Slip, slop, slap, JByrne! Marieke said there are better books to smother in oil on a beach.
Now for a little By the Bed:
Marieke is reading Patience. A graphic novel.
Michael is reading The Hate Race. Out in August.
Rosie is reading Live From New York. Marieke loves it too.
JByrne is reading The Horse. It’s for people who like horses… oookay.
Jason is reading Up the Junction. It has lots of sex. Colour me shocked.
Now for Love in a Cold Climate.
Michael says it isn’t exactly plot driven but he loves it any way. Marieke adored it and describes it as sexy and cheeky and funny. I bet she wanted to oil it up. Jason unsurprisingly loves it. It’s sexy and British, just like him…
… Rosie hated it. She says it was so bad she could barely finish it and it was, “not to my taste.” Rosie says she was expecting Jane Austen and she did not get it. Oh goodness, now I have to think mathematically. I’m not good at maths, but wasn’t Jane Austen dead a century before Love in a Cold Climate came out?
I’m not going to push it because remembering dates isn’t my thing so I’m probably wrong. Jason admits that the first chapter was a bit rubbish but the rest was fab.
Michael loves the fact that in the novel a gay character is celebrated by other characters. The character is endearing enough that Rosie admits that she even liked him. Marieke says that the women are punchy and vibrant. And that she found it fresh, sexy and funny as hell… I now want to read Love in a Cold Climate!!!
JByrne talks about the new trend of adult colour in books of a very adult only nature. Jason suggests getting lots of pink crayons. It’s a vagina joke people. Jason Stegersaurussex made a vagina reference. Take a drink. Michael says he can’t be contained with his adult colouring in and rarely stays within the lines. I pour my chilled wine directly into my lap to tame my heated loins.
Ooo la la, BLaw and Robo-Tham are on next week. Last time BLaw came with completely naked ankles and a vulva in his pocket. I did clutch at my pearls. Robo-Tham did not reveal any cyborg tendencies on his last visit so I am hoping there is a big reveal next week.
Check out Rosie’s last appearance here.
Check out Michael’s last appearance, in THE BEST EPISODE OF ALL TIME, here.
To view past episodes check out ABC iView.