November 15th Geekdiac.
Drages (March 21- April 19)
You find yourself in an antisocial mood but are unfortunately thrust amongst people. Most of the will annoy you. Writing a song about your feelings will make you equally annoying. Sing it to people in all its off key glory. People won’t bother you again.
Lyconus (April 20- May 20)
Someone is going to suggest that it’s perfect tequila weather, you shouldn’t listen to them, you will despite my warnings. Just make sure you are wearing clean underpants without any holes in them. You will thank me later.
Alienni (May 21- June 20)
You are as always stunningly beautiful this month. Always are, always will be. Just keep being adorable you and everyone will adore you. Totes adorbs.
Sither (June 21- Jul 22)
Tomorrow is going to make you snappy and angry. Someone will spill glitter on you and you will pass on craft herpes to others. Eat cake. Cake fixes everything.
Timeo (Jul 23- Aug 22)
You will cry tomorrow and let out a micro wee. Deal with it. It will happen.
Vampirgo (Aug 23- Sept 22)
You’ll develop an obsession with erotic fiction. You will want to talk to everyone you meet about it. Be careful, people may think you’re a bit of a dirty old man.
Captaira (Sept 23- Oct 22)
Why won’t you let me love you. Try wearing pastels tomorrow and pop a flower in your pocket. It may just free your mind.
Ewokorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Beer is not the answer to all the questions you have… a nice dry white is.
Gallifrius (Nov 22- Dec21)
Somebody is going to tell you that you’re bringing sexy back, as you never left sexy never left, so clearly they’re stupid. Tell them to go make out with a hot dog. Then squeeze ketchup on yourself for added affect.
Warricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Tennis shoes. Wear them. I see either tennis or running in your day.
Magus (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.
Jedes (Feb 19- March 20)
Your wife doesn’t find farting funny. Not in the lounge room, not in the kitchen, not when watching TV, not whilst eating dinner. Maybe put some glow dust in your buttocks to make your wind more exciting.