December Star Wardiac


Written for

Kessies (March 21- April 19)
Only a mere few weeks until Armageddon! What will you do? The Jedis do not seem to be calling on you. In fact you haven’t caught sight of any for ages. Time to take matters into your own hands. Solve the Mayan prophecy and save us all.

Geonosus (April 20- May 20)
You’re feeling totally cleansed this month. Like a burden has been lifted from your bowels. Don’t get too cocky. Now is not the time to go on a drinking binge in a spacebar.

Yavinni (May 21- June 20)
You’re having issues with timing this month. Everything seems to be happening around you, some stuff you’re early for but some stuff you’re late for. Only one solution. Live online.

Utaper (June 21- Jul 22)
Action, drama, passion. These are the things you crave, but do they crave you. Quite simply no. This is a month for quiet cuppas and making home-made jam. Trust me. Otherwise a giant Sith will jump out of a Christmas tree and swallow you whole. Going and clicking like on!/ChloePrimeAlienSpaceVet should fulfil your new and exciting quota for the month.

Hotho (Jul 23- Aug 22)
Your confusion over evolution continues this month. Where did we really come from, who are we, who are you? You begin sculpting monkeys in mashed potato in the hope of inspiring an answer.

Tatooino (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Christmas approaches. Money does not. Don’t worry; try your hand at handy crafts. Make some Droids out of old toilet rolls, a Carbon Freezing unit out of an old shoe box. People will love your War Wares.

Sullustra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are missing fresh Star Wars big time. You crave action and adventure. You crave stimulation… but not from real life, ewww you it might make you sweat. Grossies! You read the Chloe Prime Diaries ( ah, that hit the right spot.

Endorio (Oct 23- Nov 21)
Who do we love? Princess Leia! Who don’t we love??? Well it’s time you focused on the positive and not the negative. Forget what you don’t love and make a collage of what you do!

Dagobahius (Nov 22- Dec21)
Han be nimble, Han be quick, Han jumped over a candle stick. Why? To get to the hottie on the other side. Perhaps it’s time you released your inner Han Solo.

Corellicorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
Stock up on sausages. Trust me, it’s the new Christmas it food. You’re in serious danger of not being considered cool this holiday season so make sure you get lots and a good variety too.

Naboous (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Dreams come and dreams go but for all of this what do we have to show? Dreaming of legends but living on lounges all the while your heart just flounders. Get up and do some squats. Clear that head with exercise.

Alderaanes (Feb 19- March 20)
You watch search out some Star Wars Christmas Specials on YouTube, it makes you crave a simpler time. You look up good recipes for Christmas goose and traditional fare. Enjoy. Embrace the complexity of simplicity.

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